Sunday, August 20, 2017

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

5 second plot: Jon and his band of brothers find the army of the dead. They are able to catch one of them, but at a great cost.  Aria confronts Sansa with something she did a long time ago. She doesn't seem to realize that Littlefinger is playing her.

5 second review: There's a lot of talking and butt-kissing first to get to the spectacular stuff. But it's worth the wait. I don't like where they are going with Aria in the story. I hope she's not as stupid as they are trying to make us believe.

IMDb score: 9,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child is nothing new

5 second plot: There's been an outbreak of self-bred killer monsters on a colonized planet (we're in the future by the way). A military man has got somewhat less than 24 hours to save his family before the planet is destroyed (as a containment precaution).

5 second review: The sci-fi stuff is not bad for a low budget movie. The big set pieces are filmed from a distance or in a bit of a blur, but that's still okay. Some things weren't given enough thought though. Like prison guards with very impractical armor (it had to be cool, not practical, I guess). There's nothing new, nothing original, so why waste your time creating a small budget movie like this? There's no added value.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 2/10

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5: Eastwatch

5 second plot: Spoilers ahead! Jaime realizes that it's going to be impossible to win the war. Cersei won't hear of it. Jon wants to show Cersei a zombie to convince her to leave Daenerys alone for a bit so she can help him fight the dead. Tyrion secretly meets with Jaime to talk about it. Jon teams up with a magnificent band of heroes and misfits to go snatch the zombie.

5 second review: There's no big battle in this episode. I was kind of getting used to it. Jon's team has got The Hound in it, the bastard son of king Baratheon, Jorah and the leader of the wildlings. Now that's a team-up! I was thinking about the meeting between Jaime and Tyrion. How did they arrange that? They don't have phones so how in the world did he ring that in?

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 9/10

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4: The Spoils of War 

5 second plot: Spoilers ahead! Cersei regains the trust of the Iron Bank. Aria comes home. Daenerys and Jon are starting to get along but she still wants him to bend the knee. When Daenerys finds out that she is losing the war, she decides to take matters into her own hands. In other words: Jamie and Bronn are screwed.

5 second review: Well girl, if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself, I guess. The way the tension builds up to this episode's battle is awesome. It felt like the Jurassic Parc T-Rex build-up. The production value (battles, dragons, fire, explosions,...) is amazing for a TV show. They were not kidding when they said this season would be BIG.

IMDb score: 9,9/10
Our score: 10/10

Friday, August 4, 2017

Message from the King is brutal

5 second plot: Jacob came from South Africa to Los Angeles to find his missing sister. But he is too late, she has been murdered. Jacob starts looking for the men responsible.

5 second review: This is a brutal revenge tale, but it's not slick or cool revenge, it's pure dramatic rage. Overall it's a decent movie with a very strong performance by Chadwick Boseman but there are a couple of false notes, like the strange relationship between Jacob and his neighbor.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3: The Queen's Justice 

5 second plot: Spoilers ahoy! Jon shits his pants when he meets Daenerys' dragons. The mother of dragons is not buying his story about the living dead. Bran makes it back to Winterfell. Cersei avenges her daughter's death. And seems to be outwitting her brother in the strategies of war.

5 second review: This is a very interesting episode. It feels like watching a Rocky movie: first the good guys get punched in the face (a lot) and just when you think they are going to stay down, they're going to start throwing killer punches. Or at least: that's what I think will happen. For now, they are just getting punched in the face. A lot.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, July 28, 2017

The Emoji Movie is simple fun

5 second plot: An emoji scheduled to be deleted does not accept his fate and goes rogue.

5 second review: It's very extremely simple fun for (small) children. I don't think I have ever seen an IMDb score this low.

IMDb score: 1,7/10
Our score: 4/10

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn

5 second plot: Melisandre pays Daenerys a visit. And informs her of the existence of one Jon Snow. Cersei is still trying to find allies. Sam tries to cure Jorah. Tyrion lays out his attack strategy. Not everything goes as planned. A premature battle is fought at sea.

5 second review: This episode has it all: it's cool, sexy, action packed, nasty (stomach turning), filled with visual goodies and it has an awesome blood gushing battle.

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 10/10

Monday, July 17, 2017

London Heist is a bit heavy

5 second plot: Jack is a tough criminal who specializes in armed robberies. When his dad is murdered and his retirement money disappears, Jack is determined to find and punish the men responsible.

5 second review: This is a very cool gangster movie with an awesome bad-ass hero (on the wrong side of the law but we're still rooting for him). But it's a bit heavy on drama for my taste. A movie like this should be more fun, unless it's a true story.

IMDb score: 5,4/10
Our score: 6/10

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is very elaborate

5 second plot: Valerian and Laureline are two agents of the cosmos (I'm not sure if that's the right description, but something like that.) who get sucked into a whole lot of action after they retrieve a very special item on their last mission.

5 second review: I thought I would be complaining about the overload of worlds, creatures and computer graphics and although it does get 'cartoony' from time to time it didn't bother me at all. On the contrary. It's a work of love and you can feel it throughout the movie. The amount of detail is extraordinary. What I loved the most is the chemistry between the main characters. It's a perfect team-up.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10