The Great Wall is kind of stupid

5 second plot: Matt Damon and another dude are looking for gunpowder near China. They end up helping the Chinese defend the Great Wall against monsters. For real.

5 second review: It wasn't smart to play this dead serious and even refer to real cultural and historical elements and then screw it up on every level. It makes this movie look really silly. The effects are the only thing that could have made it watchable but even they are surprisingly bad. Look at that ridiculous monster! They must have forgotten the eyes and just randomly put them somewhere.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 0/10

Mascots is not for me

5 second plot: Mascots from all over the world get ready to compete in this years Fluffy Awards.

5 second review: I didn't laugh one single time. This mockumentary thing isn't for me, so it seems. Or maybe the movie is just not funny.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10

Van Helsing Season 1 Episode 1: Help Me

5 second plot: It's 2019. The world has been overrun by vampires. A mysterious woman wakes up in a hospital guarded by the military. She doesn't know what she's doing there. The soldier that's guarding her doesn't know either. But she seems to have a certain 'effect' on vampires.

5 second review: The vampires look like vampire-zombie hybrids possessed by a demon. Does that sound cool? It's not. Neither is this first episode.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 0/10

Approaching the Unknown is mega boring

5 second plot: Captain Stanaforth develops a machine that can turn dry sand into water. He is taking this new technique to Mars. He will be the first human to set foot there, but the idea is to send a lot more people and start colonizing the planet.

5 second review: This movie is so boring, it was impossible for me to sympathize with the main character. Because I kept thinking that it was far worse for me to have to sit through the movie than to take a 270 day solo trip to Mars.

IMDb score: 4,8/10
Our score: 0/10

House of Manson is not cool

5 second plot: It's the life story of notorious criminal Charles Manson.

5 second review: It couldn't have been easy to tell this story as boring as they did. The dialogue is not good and the actors don't seem to know what they're doing. It's terrible.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 0/10

Crying Wolf is just awful

5 second plot: A private detective investigates the unusual death of a friend who was also investigating an unusual death of a girl in a small village. So he reads a book. Oh yeah, and there's also something with werewolves and some heads get smashed off here and there.

5 second review: I don't like these wasters of my preciousssss time. This movie's got a terrible voice over explaining everything (never a good sign), the dialogue is even worse and the special effects are even worse than that. I did have to laugh a couple of times with the awfulness of it all. If you get past the first 10 minutes and still think it's alright, then this might be for you. But don't think that it will get better, because it doesn't.

IMDb score: not yet rated on posting date
Our score: 0/10

The Ridiculous 6 is painfully unfunny

5 second plot: Tommy meets his father for the first time. But his father is kidnapped before he gets a chance to really get to know him. Now Tommy has to come up with 50.000 dollar to save him. On his rescue mission he finds out he's got a couple of half brothers.

5 second review: The amount of familiar faces in this big cast is unbelievable. What the hell are they doing in this movie? It's godawful. It's so ridiculously unfunny that I started to feel sorry for Adam Sandler after a while. Because I like Adam Sandler. I'm on his side. But this movie? It really really really sucks.

IMDb score: 5,3/10
Our score: 0/10

Another World is not very good

5 second plot: The world has gone to shit. Almost everyone turned into a mindless killer (think fast zombies). Two uninfected survivors have made it so far by attacking first and by staying on the move.

5 second review: It can't say I liked anything about this movie: not the bad acting, the silly voice over, the terrible dialogue, the shabby script or the loads of mistakes. Their survival methods don't make any sense and they are way too clean and relaxed for the end of the world. But not everyone seems to agree with me, the IMDb score is not that bad.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 0/10

Narcopolis is a pretty but empty box

5 second plot: In the future drugs are legal, affordable and safe. Or so the company producing the drugs makes everyone believe. This company is very powerful and it seems like they're not using their power to do good. Now they've got a cop on their tail who is going to get to the bottom of it.

5 second review: This is like a beautifully wrapped present with a terrible content. It's one of those futuristic movies where they can't show you anything of the outside world because the budget couldn't cut it. It's also totally uninteresting.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 0/10

Star Trek: Renegades is unwatchable

5 second plot: It's 2388. Someone is destroying dilithium crystal mining facilities and that's bad news for The Federation. They have an idea who's behind the attacks. Voyager's former security officer, Tuvok, puts together a crew to go after them.

5 second review: The budget was clearly too low for a movie like this. It is simply unwatchable. If you like movies like Sharknado, you might like this as well (we've even got some familiar faces from back in the day popping up) but if you're expecting a decent Star Trek movie, you're going to be very disappointed.

IMDb score: 5/10
Our score: 0/10

Big Game is ridiculous

5 second plot: Air Force One is shot down. The president of the United States is rescued by a young boy who's on an initiation hunt. But they are not home free. They've still got terrorists on their tail.

5 second review: Everything about this movie is laughable. It's just completely ridiculous. I see a lot of familiar faces but they are all acting like they're in Airplane 3. And it's not supposed to be funny. The young Onni Tommila is they only one who's not making a fool of himself. I can't believe I sat through the entire running time.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 0/10

Lost River is random weirdness

5 second plot: Billy is a mom with two kids. They are living in an town where everyone who could leave, has already left. She's not able to pay the bank so she takes on a new (weird) job. Her teenage son Bones is stealing copper to get some money but he entered someone else's territory and this guy's pissed off. But then Bones finds an underwater city. This might be his chance to lift the curse on his town.

5 second review: I was willing to give this movie a chance. I heard that it was not good. But I tried. I really did. It felt like I was watching some randomly put together weird images. And if it were happy go lucky, then it might have been okay. But it's deep and sad. And that made it even worse for me.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10

Into the Woods is silly

5 second plot: A baker and his wife try to reverse a curse by searching for four objects. As they search for these objects they meet a lot of interesting and well known fairy tale characters.

5 second review: I knew it was a musical but I still hoped that there wouldn't be too much singing involved. Because I really hate musicals. So this is not an objective review. I was just curious to find out how all those famous actors would look in fairy tale mode. It was a big disappointment. This childishly stupid movie annoyed me beyond imagination. And I think I don't like fairy tales that much actually.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 0/10

Lap Dance is a hard to believe true story

5 second plot: Monica and her boyfriend are on their way to who knows where when they find out that her father is very sick. To pay his medical bills Monica starts working as a stripper. The boyfriend's okay with that. At first.

5 second review: This is a true story apparently. But it's told in such a flat and unconvincing way that it's hard to believe. The director is stuttering through the movie like a kid learning how to read. Maybe he was too emotionally involved. But if your main goal is to watch video-clips of semi-naked women dancing, this is a safe bet.

IMDb score: 3,9/10
Our score: 0/10

Stonehearst Asylum is godawful

5 second plot: A couple of days before the year 1900 a young doctor arrives at Stonehearst Asylum, eager to put his education to practice. He becomes enchanted by a patient named Eliza Graves. And he finds out something is very wrong in the asylum.

5 second review: OMG what a horrible movie. I almost walked out of the theater, that's how awful it is. Jim Sturgess is just terrible as the doctor. And he's the main character. There are some really great actors in this movie, and they really try to make something of it, but they fail miserably.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 0/10

Dear White People is boring and annoying

5 second plot: A college. Black students. White students. Yawn.

5 second review: Is this a comedy? Because I am not laughing. This is one of the most boring and annoying movies I have seen this year. And what's up with that terrible back-ground music? And there are too many words on the screen. I have to admit I didn't make it to the end of the movie. So it's possible that it gets better. But I had to stop watching because I was about to fling something towards the screen.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 0/10

Werewolf Rising is terrible

5 second plot: A girl goes back to the town she grew up in. It's been 20 years but everything still looks the same. Two criminals escaped from prison. And then something with a werewolf.

5 second review: Terrible. Just terrible. Cool poster though.

IMDb score: 2,6/10
Our score: 0/10

Left Behind is not as cool as the synopsis sounds

5 second plot: A big part of earth's population suddenly disappears into thin air. The story focuses on Chloe and her dad, who is flying a big passenger plane when the 'event' occurs.

5 second review: This is a terrible movie. Just look at that IMDb score. Nicolas Cage is in it. And he's in it a lot. It's weird. I wonder if he saw the end result himself. He must have realized right then and there that this is a seriously shitty movie. There's no way around it.

IMDb score: 3,3/10
Our score; 0/10

Open Windows is just horrible

5 second plot: Nick is in town for a meet and greet with his favorite actress Jill Goddard. But minutes before the meeting someone informs him that everything is cancelled. This mysterious person takes over Nick's computer and tricks him into doing stuff he would normally never consider doing.

5 second review: I didn't expect very much of it, but I never thought it would be this annoying. The movie is a compilation of webcam and smartphone videos. It's not easy on the eyes and quickly got on my nerves. The actors try to make us believe that they believe in the movie, but it's obvious they realize what a mess they got themselves into.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 0/10

Tusk is just too nasty

5 second plot: An obnoxious guy who thinks he's really funny goes on a trip to Canada to interview someone (a guy who accidentally chopped off a leg with a samurai sword, haha, not funny) for his Not-See Party podcast. When he gets there he finds out that the poor guy killed himself (indeed, not funny again). Lucky for us he meets another interesting fella.

5 second review: The first part of the movie is boring and annoying. It's an annoying guy interviewing another annoying guy about uninteresting stuff. And then... it gets really nasty. But not in a good way, just over the top nastiness. It was simply too much for me. Yuk.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10