Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 4: Shelter

5 second plot: Molly and her family are on the run. They don't really know from what exactly. They arrive at her father's place and try to do a DNA test themselves. Yasumoto and his disciples are tracking her down. He is looking for some sort of life sustaining substance and he thinks Molly holds the key to getting his hands on it.

5 second review: Not everything makes sense in this episode. For starters: what's with all the guns? That seems a bit much to track down an unarmed family. And at the end of the episode Molly develops some kind of superpower to escape and then stumbles into the operating room. That's just plain stupid. But I'm still very curious of how it's going to go down, so I'm not really complaining. Or at least not a lot.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, July 27, 2014

True Blood Season 7 Episode 6: Karma

5 second plot: Bill tries to get his estate transferred to Jessica. His hep-v seems to be progressing very rapidly. Pam and Eric form an alliance with the Yakuza. Basically to rip Sarah Newlin's head off. But they might need to reconsider. Jason's vampire girlfriend tries to win him back. Tara is really trying to talk to her mother. Andy catches his daughter in bed with his future step-son.

5 second review: That's a nice twist what they did with Sarah Newlin there. I'm not going to give it away. Lots of interesting questions: why is Bill getting sick so fast, what is Jason's girlfriend going to do to the fairy, what's this Tara dream all about, why are the Yakuza driving Fast & Furious cars?

IMDb score: 8,9/10
Our score: 8/10

The Strain Season 1 Episode 3: Gone Smooth

5 second plot: The CDC doctors are looking for the missing bodies. They think the military had something to do with their disappearance. Meanwhile the survivors are transforming quickly. The old hunter plays stupid in court to get off easy (and quickly). And then there is this cool pest control guy who notices that all the rats are fleeing.

5 second review: The transformations are really nasty. I thought the rock star's nose was going to fall off. But then... well, I urge you to see it to believe it. It's cool the way animals (rats, dogs) seem to know something's up. Every episode has got one cool monster show down. This one isn't different. It's a good one.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, July 25, 2014

Hercules is not all serious after all

5 second plot: Hercules, the son of Zeus (or not), is a mercenary fighting for gold. He's got a team of very skilled warriors to help him fight his latest battle: helping the king of Thrace get rid of an evil adversary.

5 second review: I figured this was going to be all serious and stuff, you know, like Gladiator. But it isn't. It's all fun and games. I should had know The Rock don't do serious. It gets really ridiculous from time to time but I did like the way the story works to its climax. I'm a sucker for this overly dramatic shit that builds up to one big pile of good versus evil mythological crap. The fights and fighting skills are really awesome. I love the way people go flying through the air when The Rock hits them. But it bears repeating that it gets overly ridiculous from time to time.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Wish I Was Here is sweet (give it a chance)

5 second plot: Aidan is a struggling actor (with zero acting jobs) and a father of two. His kids can't go to their expensive school anymore, because grandpa was funding it and he now needs to pay for his experimental (and expensive) cancer treatment. Aidan tries to keep the family up and running while struggling with some nasty inner demons.

5 second review:  It's one of those movies that's often very funny but sometimes really sad (someone's dying you know). It's a really sweet story about family and trying to keep your shit together while the world around you seems to fall apart.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 3: Wish You Were Here

5 second plot: Molly's boss tells her they did some off the book fertility test on her when she was in space. She doesn't believe him and lets her friend doctor run some more tests. John throws Molly a birthday/welcome back party. For the first time in years Molly meets Marcus' brother. Or does she?

5 second review: It still gives me a strange feeling that the two main stories don't seem to be meant to intertwine at some point. We've got the robot-kid that's going to cause mayhem (undoubtedly) and the alien-pregnancy. I would have preferred a focus that is more clear. But I'm still very interested in how it is all going to go down.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, July 21, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy is awesome!

5 second plot: This is the origin story of the group from the title. We've got Star-Lord, an outlaw from Earth (partly); Gamora, the most dangerous woman in the universe; Drax, the destroyer; Rocket, a very smart raccoon and Groot, a talking tree. They gather up to save the universe from destruction by Ronan The Accuser.

5 second review: This is one hell of an awesome movie. Great characters, great weapons, great settings, great space ships, great mythology,... And everything feels very original. This movie is filled with amazing stuff you have never seen before. And man, I laughed my ass off. This is the funniest space movie since Spaceballs. And that's saying something!

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 10/10

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Lottery Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: In 2025 women will have stopped having babies for 6 years. And in the last year 2019 only 6 kids were born. But now a scientist succeeds in fertilizing 100 eggs. The government decides to have a little lottery that will decide who gets the babies. And there is also a lot of government conspiracy and secrecy going on.

5 second review: The whole crazy future conspiracy government doesn't make any sense. It's ridiculously stupid. And so is everything else that is going on in this pilot. It's a good idea for a show, I'll give you that, but that's all this is. The 'good' part regrettably did not make it past the idea. This is very poorly made.

IMDb score: not yet scored on posting date
Our score: 1/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 5: Return to Oz

5 second plot: The evil vamps are dead, so what's next? It seems that throwing a party for the entire town was on the top of the list. At this party there are mostly drunk people and some love triangle problems. Bill is flashing back a lot for who knows what reason. And Pam and Eric are on Sarah Newlin's trail. And so is the Yakuza. Apparently.

5 second review: This episode is a boring time filler. A party? Come on. It's not really the right time. Eric and Pam are a lot of fun. But the Yakuza? What? Why? I don't get it. The last seconds of the episode reveal another victim of hep-v. So I'm thinking that's the way this season is going to go: searching for an antidote.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 6,5/10

The Leftovers Season 1 Episode 4: B.J. and the A.C.

5 second plot: The chief can not catch a break. He can't reach his son, his wife wants to divorce him, his daughter doesn't like him very much, the mayor is always bustin' his chops and baby Jesus is stolen from his crib. His son is still trying to protect the golden child. He runs into some crazy shit.

5 second review: These white fucks need to stop harassing people, because they are getting on my nerves. There are some mildly interesting things going on (the pile up of dead bodies for instance) but ... yawn... this is getting boring really quickly. There's too much interesting stuff on TV to be wasting my time with this.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 5,5/10

The Strain Season 1 Episode 2: The Box

5 second plot: The dead people are alive again. Sort of. Together with the 4 survivors they are transforming into nasty blood suckers. The good doctor is thrown off the case. But of course that won't stop him from getting to the bottom of it all. The dying rich guy who sent for the creature finally gets to meet his guest of honor.

5 second review: The first episode was meant to get our attention, this second episode is all about finding out who is who and what everyone stands for. So there is a little bit less action but still a decent amount of creature nastyness. In other words: this show is still definitely going in the right direction.

IMDb sore: 8,5/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Purge Anarchy is a roller coaster ride

5 second plot: A woman, her daughter and a young couple get stuck on the streets at the start of the annual purge. Lucky for them there's a good guy out there with mad fighting skills and a shitload of guns to help them out. The entire city seems to be hunting them down.

5 second review: The tension rises extremely high from time to time. Holy crackers! There are some annoyingly stupid elements in this movie as well (government conspiracy, rich people having a party, freedom fighters), but overall? Pretty neat. I especially liked the setting in the highly populated town. As opposed to the single house setting in the first movie.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 6,5/10

The Half Hour Season 3 Episode 11: Mark Normand

5 second plot: A half hour (duh) of stand up comedy with Mark Normand talking about racism, pedophiles and sluts.

5 second review: He's a really nice guy so he can get away with saying anything. Only a pedophile joke goes a tad too far for the audience. He's a fast talker, I like that. And he makes a lot of smart interesting observations. The ones normal people don't pick up. That's always a nice to have for a comedian.

IMDb score: not yet scored on posting date
Our score: 8,5/10

I Origins is exciting

5 second plot: Ian and his lab partner are trying to create vision for an organism that doesn't have eyes (this is the simple version of the explanation). The idea is to prove that God doesn't exist. Because of the eye being the window to the soul and all.

5 second review: It took me some time to figure out where the story was heading. But it was worth the wait. It kinda took my breath away. Every aspect of this production (story, performances, camera movement,...) works perfectly together to come an incredibly beautiful conclusion. It's just one second. But a perfect one. If you are a spiritual soul, you will love this movie. If you are not, it might change your mind.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 10/10

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 2: Extinct

5 second plot: Dad gets a new state of the art lab. Spared no expense. Mom tries to bond with robot-son. She meets her ghost ex-boyfriend again. And finds out that the previous guy in space experienced the same stuff she did (he's not pregnant though). He blew his dead mother out the air vent. She also gets a 100% confirmation of her pregnancy. It's a human baby. So no chest burst just yet.

5 second review: The big question remains: what the f*ck is going on? I like that mystery. And the small futuristic details. Like eggs that stand up instead of fall over. There are some things that are getting on my nerves. Like the dad being way too optimistic about the humanics (he must have seen The Terminator, right?). On a side note: is dad sleeping with his assistant?

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Life After Beth is a bit of a disappointment

5 second plot: Beth dies due to a snake bite during a solo-hike. But a week later she's back. At first she seems to be normal, but her boyfriend soon figures out she's a zombie.

5 second review: What a shame. I thought this was going to be a lot more fun. There are some (a few) funny images, but most of the jokes seem to miss their mark. The story also takes forever to get going and when it finally does it tries to become absurdly humorous. But then gets corny... It's weird. Not in a good way.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 4/10

Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Leftovers Season 1 Episode 3: Two Boats and a Helicopter

5 second plot: The entire episode is dedicated to a moment in the life of the good reverend. First he gets his butt kicked by someone who’s not happy with his flyers. Then he’s about to lose his church due to money problems. Then all his problems are solved thanks to a little help from above. And what happens next, you simply have to see for yourself.

5 second review: It’s a pretty boring episode with a pretty cool conclusion. So I really don’t know what to think of it. Aside from the fact that it’s very weird.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 7/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 4: Death Is Not the End

5 second plot: This episode is all about informing the next of kin of the people that didn't make it through the previous episode and powering up for the definitive battle with the infected vamps. And saving some friends. And loving each other. And coming clean. And some forgiving here and there.

5 second review: The good guys and girls win for a change. And none of them die in the process. Wait, let me think back a bit. Because there is a lot of slaying going on in this episode. No, I think no-one I like, dies. Yippiekayee. And lots of love. I like that.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 8,5/10

The Strain Season 1 Episode 1: Night Zero

5 second plot: A plane arrives at JFK airport from Berlin. All of the passengers (except 4) are dead. The CDC is called in to investigate. They find a lot of strange stuff but nothing that can explain what happened. They also find a big coffin with soil in it that was in the cargo of the plane. This coffin mysteriously (not for the viewer) disappears.

5 second review: This must be one of the coolest monster introductions I have ever seen in my life. We don't get to see a lot yet, but the 15 seconds that we do get to see the vicious creature are off the charts mega cool. This is going to be great. I can feel it in my bones.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 1: Re-Entry

5 second plot: Molly is an astronaut who has just returned from a 13-month solo space mission. Although she was alone up there, she somehow got pregnant. Her husband is working on advanced artificial intelligence robots. They already have a son designed by him. Molly doesn't connect well with her robot son. And then there's the Yasumoto organisation that seems to overlook all of them.

5 second review: Wow, this is an awesome pilot. We've got a possible psycho robot kid (who looks a bit like the kid in The Omen), a possible alien-pregnancy and a creepy know-it-all organisation. This organisation is lead by a guy who isn't 100% normal either. Great mysteries. And great expectations.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is indeed groundbreaking

5 second plot: Ten years have passed since the previous movie. The human race has almost been wiped out. The apes are thriving in the woods. A group of human survivors needs to pass the apes' home to get to a dam that can generate power. Unfortunately both groups collide head on.

5 second review: The digital apes and locations are very spectacular, but I couldn't help noticing it isn't always perfect. And it should. But it's a good story. It's mostly about relationships and how to get along with each other (or not). But there are also a lot of great action sequences.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Leftovers Season 1 Episode 2: Penguin One, Us Zero

5 second plot: The big town cops pay a visit to the new Messiah. And shoot on sight. The small town cop thinks he's losing his shit just like his dad. His son saves the Messiah's number one girl. But he had to kill someone in order to do that. Liv Tyler is not getting settled in very cozy with the white smokers. And something dangerous is up with the woman that lost everyone. And the cop's daughter is on to her.

5 second review: We're still not getting a lot of answers. On the contrary, they add a couple more mysteries to the big pile of mysteries that was already there. I hope 'the makers of Lost' don't fuck the ending up the way they did last time. How awful is that? I'm already scared of it and it's only the second episode.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 3: Fire in the Hole

5 second plot: The evil townspeople have got lots of guns. And they are going to kill everyone that's different. Sookie and Bill have a plan to track down their missing friends. But it's not without danger. Pam and Eric relive some good old (not really) times. Eric's all good to go bye bye, but then Pam tells him that Sarah Newlin is still alive.

5 second review: Why does it seem to be necessary to kill a central character in every episode? There won't be many left much longer at this rate. It's not my favorite surprise (is it anyone's?). Try to be a little bit more creative instead of killing all of our favorite characters (not meaning Hoyt's mom) just to mess with our head.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tammy is just painful

5 second plot: Tammy is at a turning point in her life. Everything seems to be falling apart. She wrecks her car, loses her job, catches her husband cheating on her,... Then she goes on a sort of self-destructive road-trip with her grandma. And tries to figure it all out.

5 second review: This is a weird movie. The beginning, middle and end just dont't add up. The way everyone is supposed to be, is not consistant throughout the movie. Luckily I had to laugh a couple of times. But not with the fat girl jokes. That just felt awkwardly wrong.

IMDb score: 4,8/10
Our score: 4/10

Earth to Echo is a modern day Goonies I guess

5 second plot: Three best friends are preparing to move with their parents away from the town they grew up in. Because the government is building a freeway right across it. All of a sudden their phones start acting funny. It seems as if the phones are trying to send them in a certain direction. On their last night together they decide to see where it takes them. They find a tiny alien that needs their help.

5 second review: This is a movie about kids and friendship. It's filmed with handheld cameras and all sorts of modern day equipment. So it's kinda shaky. This is very much in contrast with the really well designed special effects. It's a sweet story, it's got a cute alien and the kid actors are really convincing. Not bad at all.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Deliver Us from Evil is awesome

5 second plot: This is the real story (inspired by actual accounts) of a NY police officer who gets to see a lot of disturbing things in his line of duty. But now he needs to team up with a priest to solve a series of crimes that are driven by pure evil. Someone seems to have opened a portal that had better stayed shut.

5 second review: I don't care what anyone says about this movie, I thought it was fucking awesome. I know it's sort of a bad Se7en rip-off (dark, rain, nasty) but if you take a closer look it's an impressive, nasty, tense, creepy, cool movie all on its own. It put me on the edge of my seat multiple times. Just go with the flow and don't think too much about the (weird) true story element.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 9/10