Saturday, August 31, 2013

Gravity takes you breath away

5 second plot: A space mission goes terribly wrong when debris from orbiting satellites hits the space ship where 3 astronauts are doing a space walk. It is quite a struggle to survive in space. So it seems.

5 second review: I never thought this film would be as great as everyone says it is. But it is. One word of advice: if you're claustrophobic, it might not be a good idea to see this one. I had to remember to breathe from time to time.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 477 mio $ worldwide (on 18-11-2013)

Friday, August 30, 2013

Upstream Color is the weirdest thing I have seen in a long time

5 second plot: A guy robs people by having them swallow a worm. After that they do whatever he tells them to do. The worm-people can only get the worm out by having it pulled out of their body and put in a pig. And then their lives and the pigs lives are connected. And everyone's connected to each other. Does this make any sense?

5 second review: I was totally lost while watching this movie. I like a good challenge, but they took it a little bit too far with this one. It is weird beyond comprehension. I even have no idea I understood the plot correctly.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 0/10

Getaway drove me crazy

5 second plot: A former race car driver's wife is kidnapped in god knows what Eastern European country. He has to do whatever the kidnappers tell him to do. And that is mainly: drive a cool car recklessly downtown.

5 second review: Honestly, I only saw the first half hour of this movie. It drove me crazy. I couldn't care less if he made it in time and if they would kill his wife. Totally unconvincing and a bit stupid. The car crashes are cool though. They always are.

IMDb score: 4,1/10
Our score: 0/10

The Lifeguard is not with David Hasselhoff

5 second plot: Leigh leaves her shitty job (and life) in the city to go back to the town she grew up in. She takes up her old high school job as a lifeguard at the local swimming pool. There, she meets a young troubled teenager, Little Jason, and falls for him.

5 second review: Oh man, this is a slow and sad film. Lucky for me I dozed off a couple of times.

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 2/10
Box Office Mojo: only just released on posting date

Monday, August 26, 2013

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 10: Let the Games Begin

5 second plot: Big Jim covers one track, but another uncovered track pops up. Barbie finds himself in the same position but chooses a better way out. And the three pink star kids find their fourth hand.

5 second review: The whole underground fighting-subplot is not convincing at all and is seriously dumb. And what happened to the bra's under the dome? Nobody in the production department noticed? Because I think all the viewers did.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episode 11: Confessions

5 second plot: Walter's last partner tries to inform him of the new situation in meth-land. We have not seen the last of that. Walter finds a way to corner Hank. Jessy figures something out that makes him go completely berserk (even more than he already was).

5 second review: How in the world can it all come together so perfectly? I don't know about you, but I have my hopes up for a brilliant finale now. This could end really cool.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, August 23, 2013

The World's End loses its paddles along the way

5 second plot: Five friends (are they?) go on a drinking spree in the town where they grew up. Only to find out that the town has been taken over by aliens.

5 second review: It gets pretty nuts at times. And the dialogue is funny when they get drunk. But besides that there is a boring first half hour and a cheesy last half hour. And I simply don't get what the point is. There always has to be a point to something, no matter how stupid that point is.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 5/10
Box Office Mojo: 39 mio $ worldwide (on 09-09-2013)

The Frozen Ground is pretty good

5 second plot: A girl is raped and almost killed by a crazy fuck. Nobody believes her and the guy walks. One trooper sees a link with other murders and disapearances and goes on a quest to capture a possible mass murderer.

5 second review: This movie isn't bad at all. There are a couple of weird moments but overall it's pretty well done. Vanessa Hudgens should stop playing the trashy hooker and start looking pretty again, though.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 7/10

You're Next is slasher-movie heaven

5 second plot: Erin is with her boyfriend at a family get-together (his family). All of a sudden they are under attack by a group of masked men that want them dead. Family members start dropping like flies, but Erin is not taking it and fights back.

5 second review: Now that's what I call a decent slasher-movie. Great suspense, nice twists, cool killings and blood splattering all over the place. That's the way to do it.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 9,5/10

The Grandmaster drowns in it's own slo-mo's

5 second plot: This is the (I'm guessing romanticized) story of Ip Man, famous for being Bruce Lee's teacher. But the movie is not about that, but of his life. Learning and teaching Wing Chun. And living in a China (and later Hong Kong) that goes through great changes.

5 second review: The extreme use of slow motion in between the fights is totally unnecessary and makes it a tough watch. But the fights are great. And luckily there are lots of them. Too bad I watched a horribly dubbed version.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 5/10

Monday, August 19, 2013

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 9: The Fourth Hand

5 second plot: Big Jim convinces everyone to turn in their weapons. But, as always, he has a hidden agenda. He and Barbie seem to be puppets on a string for the new boss in town. The sheriff is trying to figure out what's going on with the propane. And someone else is seeing pink stars.

5 second review: Finally, some interesting stuff with the dome. And a new interesting character. I like where it is going, but I'm still not entirely convinced it's going somewhere interesting.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, August 18, 2013

True Blood Season 6 Episode 10: Radioactive

5 second plot: In the first half of the episode the Warlow thing gets settled (quickly). Then the story skips 6 months. Sookie is now with Alcide. Hepatitis V is raging among the vampires. They turn into (sort of) vampire-zombies. The healthy vamps are offering the humans protection. In exchange for blood.

5 second review: Now that was weird wasn't it? The finale half way through the finale. Then skip to a very strange 6 months in the future. And then the set up of the next season? The first half of the episode was very good, the second half was not.

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 6/10

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episode 10: Buried

5 second plot: Hank knows, Marie finds out, they confront Skyler (at first they think she is the victim) and Walt starts covering his tracks. Since Hank will need proof, Walt might just have a fighting chance. Jessy has completely lost it and got caught trowing his money around (literally). There is also an interesting sub plot developing with the new people in charge of distribution.

5 second review: This is a top shelf episode - again. It's fun on the one side (the two henchmen and the money) and it is a nail-biting thriller on the other side. And the acting (Hank's devastation) is simply magnificent.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, August 16, 2013

Kick-Ass 2 does not kick enough ass

5 second plot: Kick-Ass joins a group of masked vigilantes to make the world a safer place. Hit-Girl has other fish to fry in the form of high school bitches. And there is a new (well, not really new, but the name is new) super villain in town: The Motherfucker.

5 second review: The set-up is good, the superhero and -villain names are perfect, the fights are great, but there is simply not very much going on. It takes forever for the fight to really get started.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 41 mio $ worldwide (on 30-08-2013)

Monday, August 12, 2013

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 8: Thicker Than Water

5 second plot: The town gets ready to rumble over the only source of water. Things spiral seriously out of control and again: people die. Junior switches sides more than a baby changes its diaper.

5 second review: I like the mysterious side of the show, but everything else feels like one big mess. Things simply don't add up.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 5/10

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones has got trailer fever

5 second plot: Clary finds out she's got special powers to hunt down and kill demons. She also holds the key to finding a cup that would allow her kind to survive.

5 second review: The mythology is great (the invisible building for instance), but the movie focuses on the wrong things. Which makes it a bit boring. Look at the trailer: that's the stuff we want to see. And there is too little of that in the movie.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 6,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 80 mio $ worldwide (on 22-10-2013)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

True Blood Season 6 Episode 9: Life Matters

5 second plot: Eric and Bill are out to save their fellow vamps from the prison. Eric chops a whole lot of humans into pieces on his way in. The rest of the town is attending Terry's funeral and recalling key moments of his life.

5 second review: The funeral bits are extremely boring. There is even someone singing at one point. That's not my cup of tea. The rest of the episode is a whole lot of fun actually. Quite the contrast.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 7/10

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episode 9: Blood Money

5 second plot: Hank is on to Walt. It looks like the two are saddling up to go to battle. Jessy is emotionally very unstable and is drawing attention. Walt is physically not well. Or so he says, because the episode starts with a flash forward, and he looks fine in the future. And he sure knows how to fool people.

5 second review: This episode feels like a bomb could go off every second. The tension rises very high. And the sneak previews of the future are very intriguing. I can't tell what will happen but it's going to be big.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, August 9, 2013

Elysium is almost perfect

5 second plot: The world has gone to shit by the year 2150 something. The rich left earth and made themselves a new world, hovering around our planet: Elysium. The story centers around Max, who needs to get to Elysium in 5 days or he will die.

5 second review: Aah come on man, there is no shame in a happy ending. There really isn't. For me, that would had made this movie perfect (yes, even Jodie Foster is pretty good). But I am a big sucker for happy endings.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 214 mio $ worldwide (on 14-09-2013)


5 second plot: This is the story of Linda Lovelace, the star of Deep Throat, a porn movie from the '70s that was an instant hit and made a lot of money (the first of its kind). On the surface her story looks like a lot of fun, but the real story is a very sad one.

5 second review: It's a bit surprising someone decided to make a movie on this subject. It's not really that interesting. It starts off as a sweet and funny movie, but then the tone changes drastically to a heartbreaking reality. It's a good biopic, but too sad for me.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 6/10
Box Office Mojo: 185.000 $ (on 16-08-2013) and counting

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

We're the Millers

5 second plot: David is a pot dealer who gets into trouble with his supplier. To set things straight he needs to pick up a shipment in Mexico. In order to do this without arousing too much suspicion at the border, he 'hires' a wife and two kids who have to act as his family.

5 second review: There is only one small corny glitch at the end. All the rest of the movie is a lot of fun. Often even laugh out loud funny. Seriously. And there are great bloopers at the end. So stay tuned.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 116 mio $ worldwide (on 27-08-2013) and counting

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters is well done

5 second plot: Percy and his friends are searching for a fleece with magical healing powers to save one of their own and restore their protective barrier. The quest is dangerous and there is someone else out to get the fleece with an ulterior motive.

5 second review: For kids? Yeah, sure, but not exclusively. You could have some fun with it as an adult. The movie is very well done (sets, characters, acting). The only flaw for me is that it is not always clear where it is going.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Butler sure does present us with a lot of familiar faces

5 second plot: Cecil is a butler in the White House. He starts there in a time when African Americans don't yet have equal civil rights. He works there for a long time and serves a lot of different presidents. The story is not about him butlering, but about everything else that is going on in the world around him.

5 second review: This movie would have been a lot better without the fleet of famous people they dragged out of their retirement. What's that all about? It is a good lesson in history and although it took me a while to really 'feel' it, it's definitely got heart.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 5/10

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 7: Imperfect Circles

5 second plot: The kids with the pink stars find the center of the dome. The first dome-baby is born. The killer brothers get caught. Someone tries to mess around with Big Jim. Bad idea. And we have a tragic death.

5 second review: It's a sad sad sad episode. I don't like sad.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 5/10

Sunday, August 4, 2013

True Blood Season 6 Episode 8: Dead Meat

5 second plot: Sookie is considering Warlow's offer to spend eternity with him. Eric is not taking the death of his sister lightly and is causing mayhem. Bill is still on course trying to prevent his vision from coming true. In the vamp prison everyone but a selected few is drinking the poisoned true blood.

5 second review: This felt like an episode from the Bold and the Beautiful with vampires. Not much going on, everyone just going about his or her business. And occasionally there's some drama. And it's not bad, it's so well made and the characters are so cool that it's a perfect fit.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 10: Brazil

5 second plot: The humans found a way to use the Volm weapon. They blow up a big structure which takes the grid off line. Then the Volm battleship lands and the humans find out that the series can go on for a couple more seasons.

5 second review: Every time there is a chance to show a big battle that takes an entire episode to be fought, the makers of Falling Skies settle it quickly to move on to the more touchy feely side of the story. And now, with this season finale, I finally realize that this bothers me. A lot. So I think I'm done with Falling Skies. But I would like to know what happens to the kid.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 5/10

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Snowpiercer raises lots of questions

5  second plot: In the very near future humanity screws up the earth's atmosphere. It gets so cold, no-one can survive outside. The only place where humans do survive, is on a train that rides around the world non stop. Now, 18 years after the screw up, the poor tail section has had enough and a revolution emerges to take over the rich front section.

5 second review: It's a very dark and gritty tale. It's not as innovative as you would think. The train part is definitely original, but humanity trying to survive, isn't. The movie left me with a lot of questions. Like, where are the live chickens? And do they always have to pass the sauna to get to the dentist?

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 5/10