Friday, November 16, 1984

Night of the Comet doesn't have very much to say

5 second plot: The comet that killed the dinosaurs millions of years ago passes by earth again. The tail of the comet turns every human (animals too I guess) into dust. Two sisters survive and try to make the best of it. Oh yeah, not everyone turns to dust. Some people change into (reasonably smart) zombies.

5 second review: This is very '80s. Especially the hair. And the soundtrack. There is not a lot going on in this movie. The girls take the end of civilization rather lightly. They're mostly having fun. Shopping and stuff. One way or another electricity just keeps working. Traffic lights and everything.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 3/10

Sunday, September 23, 1984

Threads is not very uplifting

5 second plot: What would happen to the world in case of a global nuclear war? It would suck. Big time. This is the un-romanticized tale of that event. The real deal. Not very pretty.

5 second review: The film is poorly made and is very outdated. But that actually doesn't matter. The message still gets through. Loud and clear. One stupid decision and in the blink of an eye the entire world is down the shitter. This is a must see. Really.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, August 10, 1984

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is a whole lot of WTF

5 second plot: Buckaroo Banzai is a multi-talented almost-superhero. He found a way to contact alien life forms in the 8th dimension. But his contact sets off a chain of events that could destroy the world.

5 second review: The title is awesome, there's no discussion there. The aliens are awful. The movie is just terrible. You're only going to like this if you like over-acted 80's extravaganza. It's supposed to be funny (I think that was the idea), but it's not. I was intrigued at first (mostly due to the title) but that didn't last very long.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 2/10

Friday, July 13, 1984

The Last Starfighter is clumpsy

5 second plot: Alex is a guy who's very good at playing the video game 'Starfighter'. What he doesn't know is that this video game is used as a recruiting device for real starfighters who have to defend a group of planets far away from earth. One day Alex gets a visit from Centauri who's there to help him fulfill his destiny.

5 second review: The special effects are really awful and most of the alien creatures are awful as well. The sets and some of the props are memorable, but still not very spectacular. The only time the movie feels like a lot of fun is when Alex (or his replacement) is back on earth. But he doesn't spend much time there.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 4/10