Sunday, June 29, 2014

The Last Ship Season 1 Episode 2: Welcome to Gitmo

5 second plot: Most crew members start to realize their loved ones are probably gone. The ship is on its way to Guantanamo to get supplies, fuel and all the stuff the scientists need to make a cure. Once they get there, they run into some unexpected survivors.

5 second review: The episode starts with a bunch of boring everyday cliches and lots of drama. Then it gets a little bit exciting but once they run into the Al Qaeda scum it's just ridiculous horseshit. I'm out.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 2/10

The Leftovers Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: Three years ago two percent of the earth's population vanished without a trace. This episode centers around a cop in a small town who doesn't seem to have lost anyone but still has a lot of trouble figuring everything out. His wife is in some strange cult, his son is doing something we don't know yet and his daughter feels the weight of the world on her shoulders. All the dogs that witnessed a disappearance went nuts. Oh, and J-Lo is also gone. And the Pope. And Gary Busey.

5 second review: We're left with more questions than we're getting answers. It's a little bit of that 'Lost-feeling' I must say. On top of the mystery it's quite dark and depressing.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 2: I Found You

5 second plot: There will be no help from outside so the town folks will have to fend for themselves. The town officials are trying to find the infected vamps before nightfall. The town people are rebelling against the officials. The infected vamps aren't all evil bloodsuckers. But they sure did kill a lot of people already. Pam finds Eric. He's not okay.

5 second review: I like the end-of-the-world atmosphere of this episode. Jason's pizza forensics is really funny. I really hate Tara's mom. Always have. She's such an annoying character. Alcide and Sookie might be a little bit too relaxed given the circumstances.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, June 27, 2014

They Came Together is insane

5 second plot: Molly owns a sweet little candy shop. Joel works for a big candy company planning to destroy all competition. The two meet and, although they live in an opposite world, are very much alike. They connect and hook up. And then some crazy stuff happens.

5 second review: This movie feels as uncomfortable as it is funny. It also feels like there was too little material to fill a 90 minute movie. So when the jokes run dry, it's back to the simple romantic tale we've seen 100 times already. It's over the top, painful, ridiculous and a lot of fun (from time to time).

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 6/10

Transformers: Age of Extinction is extensive

5 second plot: Marky Mark is an inventor who accidentally finds (and activates) Optimus Prime. The world has turned against the Autobots and is sleeping with the enemy. So to speak. And that’s never a good idea. So now humanity faces its biggest threat yet and although the Autobots are sick of fighting for us ungrateful humans, they give it one last shot.

5 second review: This is the most hyperactive, over the top, action packed, pumped up Transformer movie to date. And that’s saying something. It might be just a tad too much, but since it’s so cool: who cares? Marky Mark is a really funny fast talking dad. I’m glad he doesn’t get killed. Because I could sense that they were thinking about offing him. 

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Last Ship Season 1 Episode 1: Phase Six

5 second plot: The crew of a US military ship that has been on a test mission for the last 4 months without communications finds out that a virus is wiping out the entire global population. They also find out that they weren't really on a test mission but that they have a scientist on board who's doing research to find a cure for the deadly virus.

5 second review: I've almost had it with these viruses. But I have to admit I really liked this pilot. It's well orchestrated. The fight scenes are spectacular. And the mission feels real. But my main interest lies in what's going on on the main land. And we're not going to be going there anytime soon.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 7,5/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 1: Jesus Gonna Be Here

5 second plot: Infected vampires crash the party in Bon Temps. A lot of vamps and people are killed (or kidnapped as a snack for later on) including Tara. Sookie hears everyone blame her for the attack and flips out. Pam is searching for her maker. Uninfected vamps are trying to protect the humans in exchange for blood.

5 second review: There is a lot of dramatic boohoo stuff in this episode. But also a couple of steaming hot sexy scenes. It all doesn't seem to be as much fun anymore as it was in the beginning though. I think it's a good thing that this is the final season. Let's hope they can still catch us off guard from time to time.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Season 4 is a short one

5 second plot: Jerry Seinfeld drives around with his buddies/heroes/soulmates Sarah Jessica Parker, George Wallace, Robert Klein, Aziz Ansari and Jon Stewart, occasionally has a bite to eat and drinks some coffee.

5 second review: I don't know what makes a 'season' a season in Jerry's eyes. I don't think he cares. All he cares about is stand up comedy. Everything else is not worth his time. I would say two out of these five episodes are loads of fun. There's one with good facts. And two episodes are pure time fillers. I wouldn't want to be in this show if I were a comedian. Too much pressure to perform before the big and critical Jerry Seinfeld.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Season 1 Episode 76: Jennifer Lopez/Keenen Ivory Wayans

5 second plot: Tonight the show is broadcasting from the Universal Orlando Resort. Jimmy starts the show with clips of Brian Williams (the news anchor) edited to look like he's rapping. Then Jimmy and his sidekick buy the perfect Harry Potter wand. Jennifer Lopez is next to promote her new album A.K.A. And Keener Ivory Wayans pops in to talk about Last Comic Standing.

5 second review: The Roots must be the coolest band in showbiz, right? Jimmy is one hell of a performer, entertainer and seems to be a really nice guy. J-Lo did not look like the cover of her album at all. But I must say her performance is quite a blast.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 10: The Children

5 second plot: Stannis pops in to help the guys on The Wall and defeats the wildlings within 5 mts flat. Miss Targaryen locks up two of her dragons after they kill a child. Bran Stark arrives at his destination. Brienne accidentally finds Arya. But then loses her again. And Tyrion escapes. And sets some records straight.

5 second review: Why didn't the wildlings just walk around The Wall like Stannis? There were three dragons, right? The Three Eyed Raven looks a bit like Gandalf, no? What a great (nasty) fight between Brienne and The Hound. This episode is just filled with interesting questions and surprises. And great spectacle! Really amazing.

IMDb score: 9,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Doc of the Dead is mainly for die hard genre fans

5 second plot: This is a documentary about zombies. Where did they come from? Where are they going? The movie mainly consists of interviews with zombie-legends. Like George A. Romero.

5 second review: We don't get to see a lot of film footage, it's mainly interviews. The interviews are really great. All zombie big shots get a say. But it would have been even better with more movie scenes. The movie is only 80 minutes long (credits included) so there definitely was room for some more action.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, June 13, 2014

How To Train Your Dragon 2 is quite an adventure

5 second plot: Hiccup and Toothless are all grown up now. They are flying out, trying to discover new worlds. And they sure do. Hiccup meets his mom who has been rescuing dragons for the last 20 years. But he also meets an evil man who wants to conquer the world. And will spare no man or dragon to get what he wants.

5 second review; The dragons are really funny and just awesome. Not all humans are as convincing. I needed some time to get used to Hiccup. His voice is not a very good match. And I especially disliked his dad singing. But hey, this is mostly an action packed, surprising and tense movie, so overall very much okay. Oh, and Hiccup's got a lightsaber. Extra points.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 7/10

The Rover is tough

5 second plot: In an Australia gone to shit due to an economic collapse, a guy's car gets stolen. He really really really wants it back. So he goes after the guys that took it. He runs into one of the thieves' brother and picks him up to show the way.

5 second review: Wow, this is one tough and angry asshole... It's a great apocalyptic movie, but it's no walk in the park. A future like that is not a pretty picture. But it might be very realistic. Great performances by Guy Pearce and Robert Pattinson. Mind you: this is no Twilight.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10

The Signal could have been a lot cooler

5 second plot: Two guys and a girl are on a road trip. A hacker is messing with them, breaking into their computer. When they get a lead on where he might be, they take a small detour. Once they get there, the place seems to be abandoned. And then the lights go out. And they wake up in a research facility.

5 second review: There's too much mystery for too long. At one point I found myself thinking: you gotta give us something man. Because it gets a bit boring otherwise. I must say I was curious and I was definitely intrigued. But the movie doesn't live up to its full potential. It could have been way cooler.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 5/10

22 Jump Street parties hard

5 second plot: The guys move to the building across the street and do the exact same thing as last time, only this time they go to college instead of high school. But they still try to catch a drug dealer. Jenko is the cool guy on campus. Schmidt not so very much. But he does get the pretty girl.

5 second review: I laughed my ass off lots of times, not only with the fact that they are constantly mocking themselves, but also with the physical humor. This is brilliant slapstick combined with pitch perfect smart-ass coincidences. The bromance goes way too far, but so does everything else in the movie, so it blends right in.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 9/10

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 100: Eric McCormack

5 second plot: Conan organizes an NBA mascots dunk contest with mascots that should never dunk. After that, Eric McCormack is on the show to pitch the start of the new season of Perception. Next up is best selling author Michael Lewis. And to round things up: stand up comedy from Roy Wood, Jr.

5 second review: Crazy fun with the mascots. Great stories from all the guests. And Roy Wood, Jr. is a really great comedian. He has the smartest joke build ups I have ever heard.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8/10

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 99: Jack White

5 second plot: Conan starts the show with his clueless review of the game Super Smash Bros. Jack White pops in to talk about all sorts of stuff and to perform some songs from his new album. Amber Stevens drops by to talk about her movie 22 Jump Street.

5 second review: Conan doing these game reviews is always great. Because he gets to play amazing games in extreme preview, but he doesn't give a shit. So he's giving comments no-one else would ever come up with. Jack White is amazing. What an inspirational artist. Amber Stevens is really jolly and super-beautiful.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8,5/10

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 98: Cobie Smulders

5 second plot: Conan and Andy have some fun with Hilary Clinton. Next up they test the Wiki Bear. Then from the new movie They Came Together, Cobie Smulders is on the show. Next Jenny Slate from the movie Obvious Child. And also comedian Ian Edwards, who's got a new album out called 100% Half-Assed.

5 second review: I love Cobie Smulders but I still hate what they did to How I Met Your Mother. Jenny Slate has got some great energy going on there! And Ian Edwards is hilarious. Spot on funny.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8/10

Monday, June 9, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 97: Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill

5 second plot: Conan made some new lists for Buzzfeed. Apparently they were running out. Conan and Andy go over some things that have never, ever been said. Their guests of the evening are the stars of 22 Jump Street, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. And the musical guest is Group Love.

5 second review: A strange episode, with just one guest (well, two in one). I was afraid Conan was going to run out of stuff to talk about. The inside stories the guys bring, are really cool and funny.

IMDb score: not yet rated on posting date
Our score: 7,5/10

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 9: The Watchers on the Wall

5 second plot: The Wall is under attack from all sides. The Night's Watch is outnumbered 1000 to 1. But they are determined to stand their ground as long as possible.

5 second review: Sam should start shutting up about how much in love he is or I'm gonna start losing it. The giants are pretty cool. And the Night's Watch's defenses are too. But with so much going on in the other parts of the GoT playing field, it kinda surprised me that we got an entire episode focused on one battle. And we only got through the first day!

IMDb score: 9,6/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, June 6, 2014

Obvious Child is a bit of a surprise

5 second plot: Donna gets dumped by her boyfriend, loses her job, starts drinking a lot, has a one-night stand, gets pregnant, decides to have an abortion and starts to like her one-night stand but doesn't know whether to tell him about the abortion or not. And there is also some stand-up comedy in between.

5 second review: Jenny Slate is seriously funny. And I think she's just being herself. She's one hell of a smart ass. Her friends and family are great. They're a perfect match. Only lover-boy feels a little bit out of sync.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 8/10

Edge of Tomorrow is awesome

5 second plot: Earth is at war with an alien race. And earth is losing. In comes Tom Cruise to save the day. He doesn't want to fight at first, but finds out that when he dies, he gets to re-live the same day again. So he teams up with the best soldier there is and tries to figure out a way to defeat the enemy.

5 second review: This movie is a lot of fun. It doesn't fuck around one bit, it simply gets moving at an enormous pace. The aliens are amazing, the battlefield is awesome and Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt are just perfect for the job. It doesn't happen very often that I want to see a movie a second time, but this one is so awesome that I'm definitely going to watch it again.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Thursday, June 5, 2014

A Long Way Down is a bit annoying

5 second plot: On new year's eve, four people decide to kill themselves at the same time on the same spot (not knowing one another). They start talking and don't go through with it. They then form a pact to help one another (to not die).

5 second review: The set-up (see '5 second plot') is rushed by us so fast that it's difficult to believe these people really wanted to kill themselves. And that's a problem, because that's the starting point. And another problem: Pierce Brosnan is really annoying. But it's probably just fine acting (not). There are some giggles and it's kinda a sweet story, but the it's not very well constructed.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 4/10

Conan Season 4 Episode 96: Jon Favreau

5 second plot: Conan's crew falls apart because someone (Andy) distributed rice crispy treats spiced with marijuana. Jon Favreau is on the show to talk about his movie Chef. And food, of course. Rob Riggle is next to talk about 22 Jump Street. And pubic hair. And Conan's musical guest is Echosmith.

5 second plot: Rob Riggle is funny by nature. Just looking at him makes me laugh. I had never heard of Echosmith. But I'm glad I have now. What an amazing band.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8/10

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 95: Emily Blunt

5 second plot: First up is a Fan Correction. But of course: the fan is totally wrong. Emily Blunt is next to talk about Edge of Tomorrow and punching guys in the balls. Brent Morin from Undateable is next. And musical guest Bob Mould brings it home.

5 second review: The monologue is really smart and funny. Especially the Burt's Bees topic with the quadruple punch line. Emily Blunt is very beautiful, very funny and has got a great accent. Love that.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8,5/10