Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Seasoning House is quite depressing

5 second plot: Set in the Balkans during the war, this is a story of young girls who are enslaved into prostitution for the soldiers. A deaf girl is enslaved as the boss's angel and has to take care of the 'house'. One day the soldiers that killed her family show up. And she fights back.

5 second review: We are in the Balkans. And everyone speaks English. With a Eastern European accent. It happens often in movies like these, but I will never get used to it. The subject of this film is horrifying. I like a good horror movie now and then, but this is far from fun to watch. There are some great performances in here. And a couple of good bad guy killings as well. But overall: very depressing.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, August 10, 2012

Twixt is painfully bad

5 second plot: A writer of witch stories ends up in a small town where he dreams a great new story. The question is why he is dreaming about stuff that probably really happened?

5 second review: No way this was directed by the real Francis Ford Coppola. This movie is horrible. It's one of the worst I have ever seen. And that's saying something. Is he completely losing his mind?

IMDb score: 4,9/10
Our score: 0/10

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Tall Man

2 second plot: In Cold Rock every couple of months a child goes missing, never to be heard of again.

2 second review: Cold, dark and mysterious with a strange twist that should take everyone by surprise.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 5 mio $ worldwide (on 20-05-2013)