Sunday, July 30, 2017
Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
5 second plot: Spoilers ahoy! Jon shits his pants when he meets Daenerys' dragons. The mother of dragons is not buying his story about the living dead. Bran makes it back to Winterfell. Cersei avenges her daughter's death. And seems to be outwitting her brother in the strategies of war.
5 second review: This is a very interesting episode. It feels like watching a Rocky movie: first the good guys get punched in the face (a lot) and just when you think they are going to stay down, they're going to start throwing killer punches. Or at least: that's what I think will happen. For now, they are just getting punched in the face. A lot.
IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9,5/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 11:48 PM
Friday, July 28, 2017
The Emoji Movie is simple fun
5 second plot: An emoji scheduled to be deleted does not accept his fate and goes rogue.
5 second review: It's
very extremely simple fun for (small) children. I don't think I have ever seen an IMDb score this low.
IMDb score: 1,7/10
Our score: 4/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 12:06 PM
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn
5 second plot: Melisandre pays Daenerys a visit. And informs her of the existence of one Jon Snow. Cersei is still trying to find allies. Sam tries to cure Jorah. Tyrion lays out his attack strategy. Not everything goes as planned. A premature battle is fought at sea.
5 second review: This episode has it all: it's cool, sexy, action packed, nasty (stomach turning), filled with visual goodies and it has an awesome blood gushing battle.
IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 10/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 9:52 PM
Monday, July 17, 2017
London Heist is a bit heavy
5 second plot: Jack is a tough criminal who specializes in armed robberies. When his dad is murdered and his retirement money disappears, Jack is determined to find and punish the men responsible.
5 second review: This is a very cool gangster movie with an awesome bad-ass hero (on the wrong side of the law but we're still rooting for him). But it's a bit heavy on drama for my taste. A movie like this should be more fun, unless it's a true story.
IMDb score: 5,4/10
Our score: 6/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 11:24 PM
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is very elaborate
5 second plot: Valerian and Laureline are two agents of the cosmos (I'm not sure if that's the right description, but something like that.) who get sucked into a whole lot of action after they retrieve a very special item on their last mission.
5 second review: I thought I would be complaining about the overload of worlds, creatures and computer graphics and although it does get 'cartoony' from time to time it didn't bother me at all. On the contrary. It's a work of love and you can feel it throughout the movie. The amount of detail is extraordinary. What I loved the most is the chemistry between the main characters. It's a perfect team-up.
IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 12:43 AM
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
5 second plot: Spoiler alert! Arya kills every last one of the fuckers that helped slaughter her family at the red wedding. Now she's on her way to kill the queen. The zombie army is coming. Jon is organizing the defense of the wall together with Sansa. Bran arrives at the wall. Cersei is trying to figure out what crazy thing to do next. The Dragon Queen is home at last.
5 second review: They are not wasting any time: let's get crackin'! It's turning into a good old fashion fight of good against evil. We don't just get to see zombies in this episode but GIANT zombies! How cool is that? The Hound is hilarious. The Ed Sheeran cameo is NOT. But it's not terrible. Just stupid.
IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 9,5/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 1:54 PM
Friday, July 14, 2017
The Big Sick is not very entertaining
5 second plot: Kumail, a stand-up comedian, falls in love with Emily. He is from Pakistan and she is not. So it's kind of a forbidden relationship. This leads to them breaking up. Not long after they break up, she ends up in a coma. He stays by her side, but this is pretty awkward since her parents -who he never met - are also there and they know they broke up.
5 second review: It's more about romance and about human relationships than it is about comedy. It's funny from time to time but it's not the main focus. It's a very personal story (literally) for Kumail Nanjiani so I guess he had to tell it the way it really happened. The premise is very special, but the story is not entertaining enough to fill a 2 hour movie. Or maybe it just isn't my thing. I loved the ending though.
IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 5/10
Posted by Pvt. Cowboy at 11:50 PM
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