Friday, December 27, 2013

August: Osage County is major drama

5 second plot: A family gets together after the father of the family kills himself. It only takes them a few hours after the funeral to start flipping out on each other. They realize that there was a good reason for them to live far enough apart from each other. But maybe the problem is that they are not that different after all.

5 second review: I have to give an objective opinion on this film, because I actually really hate family dramas like this one. Objectively: wow, that are some amazing performances. We've got some serious Oscar material going on here.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 7/10

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Lone Survivor will break your heart

5 second plot: This is the real story of four Navy Seals who are sent on a recon mission to identify a Taliban leader. When their mission gets compromised they have to run and fight to survive.

5 second review: This is quite the emotional roller coaster. It starts off light, then it gets extremely tense, next you can feel their pain as they try to survive (you can almost feel the bones cracking as they tumble down a mountain) and then it gets painfully sad. The final images of all the real men that died in this operation are heart breaking beyond imagination.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 9/10

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a beauty

5 second plot: The guy from the title works for Life Magazine. He prints the pictures taken by their best photographer. The picture that was meant to go on the cover of the final issue of the magazine goes missing. Walter embarks on a journey to find it. To do so, he has to step way out of his comfort zone and into his fantasy world. But for real this time.

5 second review: This is a beautiful film. It's warm, it's got a lot of heart, it's funny, it's an adventure,... and it's got this special little edge that gives meaning to the smallest detail. Great job.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 9/10

47 Ronin is one hell of a ride

5 second plot: It's the famous story of the 47 samurai from the title. Their master is dishonored by a cowardly opponent. They must have their revenge but they are up against all odds. In comes Neo to the rescue. But seriously, he vowed to honor the same master. And is in love with his daughter.

5 second review: Everything that should make sense isn't. The additions to the traditional story are crazy, the emotions are out of control and it simply doesn't make much sense,... but if you find a way to go with the flow, you might find this a hell of a ride. There are lots of flaws, but I still liked it, because I could feel what they were trying to achieve. (But to be honest: they failed miserably.)

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 7/10

The Wolf of Wall Street could have been a phenomenon

5 second plot: This is the true story of the rise and fall of Jordan Belfort. A guy who made millions as a stock broker, mostly by screwing people over. He could sell anything. He organised legendary parties where the main ingredients were drugs, alcohol, prostitutes and a bunch of other crazy stuff.

5 second review: A pity that the run time is 3 hours. The first hour is a whole lot of fun. They should have cranked the other two hours in half an hour. A run time of 1,5 hours with only the fun stuff: that would have been an amazing movie. Don't get me wrong: it's good. But it could have been a phenomenon.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 8/10

Monday, December 23, 2013

Vendetta is a waste of time

5 second plot: The parents of an ex-military guy are brutally killed. Since the cops don't seem to be doing a lot to find the guys who did it, the son goes on a revenge quest.

5 second review: Leaving clues like a fucking mass murderer will surely get the attention of the cops... stupid prick. Some parts of the movie are pretty decent, but some parts are pure amateurism and don't make any sense. There are a lot of good movies out there nowadays. Don't waste your time with this one.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 2/10

Friday, December 20, 2013

American Hustle is brilliant

5 second plot: A small scale hustler gets sucked into a huge hustle by a stupid FBI agent that wants to make a name for himself.

5 second review: This is a brilliantly crafted story with amazing performances from everyone involved. It's funny, it's got heart, soul and is perfectly complex.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is a blast

5 second plot: Our favorite news anchorman is back. Well, first he gets fired and ends up with his personal and professional life all screwed up. But then he grabs a chance to present the news on a 24 hour news channel: GNN. The first thing he does, is get his old team back together. Next up: be the best news team on the planet.

5 second review: After the first twenty minutes I thought I had found Valhalla. These 20 mts are funny beyond imagination. But after that it slows down a bit. Still really good and totally over the top funny, but not legen - wait for it - dary. It's a crazy blast from the past. With more cameos from famous people than I have ever seen in my life.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Her is a beauty

5 second plot: In a near future, Theodore buys a new state of the art self-learning artificial intelligence operation system. And he falls madly in love with her. And she with him. You can imagine this is not an easy love. But there is a first for everything.

5 second review: Man, there is a lot of talking in this movie. Thank god it's Scarlett Johansson's sexy voice. I wouldn't mind an operating system like that, no sir. The story is beautiful but sad with a lot of ups and the same amount of downs. It's mostly for romantic souls. Or fans of Scarlett's voice.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 8/10

Monday, December 16, 2013

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 13: Bass Player Wanted

5 second plot: Marshall finally arrives. So does the mom. She is there to perform with a band. Apparently the lead singer is an evil guy trying to make best friends argue. So there's a lot of arguing. But Ted sets him straight and kicks his ass.

5 second review: I didn't like the arguing, this is supposed to be a fun show. Not much going on besides the arguing. It is pretty cool how everyone meets the mom before Ted does. But besides that there does not seem to be a whole lot of inspiration to keep it interesting, oi?

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, December 13, 2013

Saving Mr. Banks is just lovely

5 second plot: Walt Disney wanted to bring Mary Poppins to the big screen. In order to do that, he had to convince her creator, P.L. Travers, that he was the right man for the job. This is the story of him trying to convince her, while she goes back to her childhood to remember where the idea was born.

5 second review: It is as warm and funny as it is sad and tragic. But at the end, it's mainly the warm feeling that remains. It's a great story. And it builds up magically to the point where the writer's 'real' Mary Poppins appears. I'm not sure where to put this on the 'true story'-scale, but that's quite all right.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 11: The Cooper Extraction

5 second plot: Sheldon is with his family in Texas for the birth of his nephew. The others imagine what life would be like without him. It wouldn't always be better, so it seems.

5 second review: A great last episode of the year. Sheldon in an uncomfortable situation, Penny steaming hot, Howard shouting at his mom,... great fun.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 9/10

Monday, December 9, 2013

America Unearthed Season 2 Episode 3: Great Wall of Texas

5 second plot: In the 1850's a couple of farmers found a giant wall in their backyard (in the ground). Forensic geologist Scott Wolter tries to figure out if this wall is man made or a natural phenomenon. If it is man made, it will change American history as we know it.

5 second review: Man, this is an exciting show. The stakes are really high, aren't they? If they really find proof of the thing they would like to prove, it shakes things up. What I don't like in TV series like these, is the repetition. If you have to repeat everything you say 20 times, maybe you don't have enough material to fill an hour's worth.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, December 6, 2013

Khumba misses its target

5 second plot: Khumba is a young zebra with only half a set of stripes. His herd thinks he will bring them bad luck. And sure enough, a little bit later, it stops raining. Khumba goes on a quest to find a magical pond to get himself a full set of stripes.

5 second review: This should be a fun movie. Just look at the trailer: that was the idea, right? Why oh why, then, is there so much melodrama in here combined with too much scary stuff and life lessons no kid can understand without an adult explaining it to him/her? A little bit of a miss-fire this one...

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 3/10

The Last Days on Mars is not a complete disaster

5 second plot: A team of researchers is looking for life on Mars. On their last day they make a big discovery but it's not the friendly green men they were expecting.

5 second review: The first half hour of this movie is pretty decent. But then it goes down the shitter. I kept wondering how great it could have been. Everything is okay, even the special effects, but the chills and thrills are just not working. And why oh why are they focusing on Lieb Schreiber's trauma? It has got nothing to do with the story.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 3/10

Inside Llewyn Davis is heavy shit

5 second plot: The guy from the title is a struggling folk singer in New York in the '60s. He's a good singer but he can't get his musical career off the ground. His personal life is a big mess. He doesn't even have a place to live. And he ends up fighting with everyone he loves.

5 second review: It's probably magical art that the bros are creating here. But for me it was mostly a whole lot of strange stuff flying around. This movie is really well made and beautifully acted, but they could have thrown us a bone, you know? It's not about entertaining the audience for them. It's about doing whatever they want.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 5/10

Out of the Furnace is all about the character

5 second plot: Two brothers are living a tough life. But they manage.The youngest one takes a turn in the wrong direction and meets the wrong crowd. His brother tries to keep him safe but he can't stop him from doing stupid (and dangerous) things.

5 second review: That's some seriously thorough character study before shit hits the fan. And shit only hits the fan very briefly. It's like an alien film where you just get a glimpse of the aliens at the end. That's often better than all the aliens up front. A very deep, tough, moving picture about brotherly love. And looking out for one another. Amazing performances by everyone involved: the good, the bad (and the ugly).

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 4-10

5 second plot:
Episode 4: Amy ruins Raiders of the Lost Ark for everyone.
Episode 5: Amy temporarily works at the university where Sheldon works.
Episode 6: Sheldon made an important discovery but he finds out it was pure luck.
Episode 7: Sheldon meets his TV science hero from when he was a kid.
Episode 8: Leonard finds a DVD that had to be returned 7 years ago and it was on Sheldon's card.
Episode 9: They all have Thanksgiving at Howard's mom's house. Penny finds out she is married.
Episode 10: Leonard disovers that the element Sheldon found by accident, does not exist.

5 second review: Aside from some awkward moments here and there, it is brilliantly funny. Howard yelling at his mom (always building it up) is classic.

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Monday, December 2, 2013

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 4-12

5 second plot:
Episode 4: Barney apparently saw the awkward moment Ted and Robin had when they were looking for the bracelet.
Episode 5: Barney needs to pick a side: his soon-to-be wife or his family.
Episode 6: The reverent dies after hearing how Robin and Barney met.
Episode 7: Everyone tries to prevent Lily from reading the text message that Marshall accepted the judge job.
Episode 8: Robin and her soon to be mother-in-law settle the score.
Episode 9: The story of how Barney met the mom six months ago and she swept him off his feet.
Episode 10: Barney tries to get his mom and dad back together. But instead his mom gets back together with his brother's dad.
Episode 11: Marshall tells stories from the past to get his son to sleep. In ryhmes.
Episode 12: Barney thinks there is a surprise laser tag rehearsal dinner

5 second review: There isn't a lot of new classic comedy stuff happening, now is there? Except for the episode where Walter White makes a cameo (not as WW though). And I do love the way things are set up way ahead. Like the ring-bear. Robin looks extremely pretty, doesn't she?

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our score: 8/10

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug was somewhat of a surprise

5 second plot: The second part of the quest to reclaim the dwarf kingdom in the mountain. Our heroes run into unfriendly forest elves, are hunted down (fiercely) by the ugliest Orcs in town, and they meet the (probably) future dragon slayer. And they get to the lonely mountain. And meet up with Smaug.

5 second review: I didn't expect to be disappointed by this film. But I was. The dragon is cool, there is no question about that. But the inner circle relationships are confusing, the story takes strange turns simply for the visual effect, this visual effect is not as good as I expected and worst of all: what happened to all the fun? Aside from the barrel race, I didn't laugh at all.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 5/10

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Rise of the Continents is kind of a stretch, isn't it?

5 second plot: It's a four part documentary on how the continents came to be.

5 second review: First there was one big mass of land, then it split up into the continents we know today. Boom, there you have it. No need to see this 4 hour long documentary about that. Man, this is a stretch... Showing the same pictures over and over again. Because there is too little to say. Simple as that.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 0/10

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 8: Too Far Gone

5 second plot: The Governor wants the prison. He captures Michonne and Hershell and asks Rick 'friendly' to get the fuck out. Then Rick gives a speech that makes the Governor lose it. Big Time. And shit hits the fence harder than ever before.

5 second review: Oh my god. They found a way to kill the baby. On TV. But I don't think they got away with it. What an epic episode. And what a magnificent tension. If you can do that half way in your fourth season, you can do anything. I cannot believe that we have to wait for half a year to see how this goes.

IMDb score: 9,6/10
Our score: 10/10