Sunday, February 26, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 11: Hostiles and Calamities

5 second plot: Eugene gets a nice room in Negan's place and he even gets to show the wives a good time. Dwight is blamed for Daryl's escape, since his ex-wife is also missing.

5 second review: Not a lot happens in this episode. We get some more information about Negan's organisation. I could feel the seeds being planted for future adventures (and future side-switches). Comic book knowledge spoiler alert: in the comics Daryl and Dwight become Rick's top assets.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, February 24, 2017

Get Out will make your skin crawl

5 second plot: Chris is meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. They're nice people, but something's fishy. It comes down to this: GET THE FUCK OUT! NOW! MOVE IT!

5 second review: This is a well made, good casted (the best friend steals the show though), tense, mysterious, weird movie with a crazy conclusion. There's a slow building (but very present) racist undertone that will make your skin crawl.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 7/10
Metacritic: 84/100

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 10: New Best Friends

5 second plot: Some of the warriors of the Kingdom are sick of being bullied by the Saviors. Daryl finds out that Carol is in the neighborhood. In the last seconds of the previous episode Rick and co were captured by an all-dressed-in-black-too-cool-for-school-team. He tries to convince them to join him in his fight against the Saviors.

5 second review: I don't like the new group Rick just found. It felt a bit like I was watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It's too much of a coincidence to find a big group with bad asses who are willing to fight (and are expendable). All they want is lots of guns. And we already know where they are going to get them. Remember the forest women? Also too obvious. Wouldn't it be easier to stick to the comic-book storyline?

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, February 17, 2017

The Great Wall is kind of stupid

5 second plot: Matt Damon and another dude are looking for gunpowder near China. They end up helping the Chinese defend the Great Wall against monsters. For real.

5 second review: It wasn't smart to play this dead serious and even refer to real cultural and historical elements and then screw it up on every level. It makes this movie look really silly. The effects are the only thing that could have made it watchable but even they are surprisingly bad. Look at that ridiculous monster! They must have forgotten the eyes and just randomly put them somewhere.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 0/10

Sunday, February 12, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 9: Rock in the Road

5 second plot: Rick tries to form an alliance with the Hilltop and the Kingdom to take on the Saviors together. He also tries to get a read on what they'll be up against and tries to arm up as much as possible. Not everything goes as planned. What did you expect?

5 second review: I like this. Meeting new people. Sizing up the enemy. Playing it smart. Also in this episode: maybe the coolest zombie-slashfest EVER.

IMDb score: 87,7/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, February 10, 2017

The LEGO Batman Movie is cool

5 second plot: Batman, the coolest crime fighting superhero on the planet, slowly starts to realize that he's a little bit lonely. He's always fighting crime alone and he could use a good team-up.

5 second review: It's cool, funny and visually stunning. The movie starts with a big bang and you silently hope that this gigantic ball of energy will keep exploding for the entire duration of the movie. But of course: that's impossible.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 7,5/10