Sunday, June 30, 2013

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 5: Search and Recovery

5 second plot: Tom and what's his name apparently survived the devastating plane crash and are now trying to get home. Back home, the others are looking for Anne and the baby. And the vice president finds out that the buddy aliens are probably up to something no good.

5 second review: Easy, cheap, boring and way too much drama. It was actually all drama. The piano seemed to be playing ALL the time. And all of a sudden this show is getting on my nerves. That's not good.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 5/10

Dexter Season 8 Episode 1: A Beautiful Day

5 second plot: Dexter is a bit 'lost'. He isn't his calculated self. The reason: his sister is very angry with him. Considering how the previous season ended, this seems pretty logical. But the top of the bill? He meets his maker.

5 second review: Dexter used to be fun, didn't it? It's all getting serious now the beginning of the end has begun. It's already starting to feel as if the writers have a different opinion on the end as the fans. That would be a real shame.

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 6 Episode 3: You're No Good

5 second plot: Eric kidnapped the governor's daughter. She doesn't seem to mind very much. Bill saw the future and it did not look pretty. So he's trying to change it. The wolves took the kid. Sam tries to get her back. And the fairies are on the lookout/hunt for Warlow.

5 second review: It's still burning slow (except for Bill) but that's fine. I would like to hear more from Lafayette though. I miss that dirty talk. Everyone seems to be hatching a plan. I hope the unfolding doesn't take too long anymore. A little action would be nice.

IMDb: 8,2/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Heat walks the walk

5 second plot: Sandra Bullock is a stuck up FBI agent that has to team up with a local police woman, who is her complete opposite. They need to work together to catch a vicious killer.

5 second review: Don't you just love a Sandra Bullock movie (except for All About Steve)? Add the foul mouth of Melissa McCarthy to the equation and funny shit is bound to happen. The action goes on and off and the story comes to a full stop from time to time, but no worries: the jokes keep on coming until the very end.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 227 mio $ worldwide (on 08-10-2013)

White House Down

5 second plot: Cale is taking a tour in the White House with his daughter when the place is attacked by a very well organized group of criminals. Cale gets separated from his daughter and is searching for her in the hostile environment. While doing so, he also tries to save the president.

5 second review: The movie starts off really slowly and a bit dumb. But then the action kicks in, which is very spectacular and perfectly orchestrated. But even better, that's about the same time the fun stuff begins. You wouldn't expect it, but it is a really funny movie.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 125 mio $ (on 12-08-2013) and counting

Monday, June 24, 2013

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: The small town of Chester's Mill suddenly gets stuck under what appears to be a giant dome. Nothing can get through, not even sound. Everybody tries to figure out what's going on.

5 second review: This is really exciting. Based on a novel by Steven King apparently. Lots of spectacular incidents when the dome lands (like a cow that gets split in half) and lots of spectacular crashes into the dome. Very promising.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Devious Maids Pilot

5 second plot: This is the story of a group of girlfriends that have one thing in common. They all work as a maid for the rich and famous. Every one of them has got some 'devious' plan that has little to do with cleaning the house.

5 second review: This is not what you would call smart comedy. It's pretty lame. And really very much girls/women only. So, I'm out.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 4: At All Costs

5 second plot: The president is off meeting the real president. His visit does not go as planned and probably made things a lot worse than they already were. The bug inside Hal is taking control. Anne has some tests done by the nutty professor and it appears her baby is indeed not all human.

5 second review: I am getting as paranoid as the characters themselves. Who can we trust? Who is real? I don't trust them Volm at all. And not even the new real president. But who's to say what will happen next. Tom must be pissed off that he has to walk all that way home again.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 6 Episode 2: The Sun

5 second plot: Jason and Sookie meet their grandfather Rutger Hauer (yes, way) who is there to help them kill Warlow. The humans mean business and are off torturing and killing vamps. The vamps do not take this lightly. Eric leads the way and superBill is probably going to top him.

5 second review: Lots of new characters. Not sure what they're all there for, but that will become clear. Not a lot of action, it's mostly talking, licking wounds and preparing for battle. The last minute of the episode is the most exciting one. That seems to become a trend.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Saturday, June 22, 2013

The Lone Ranger

5 second plot: The origin story of the Lone Ranger and his pal Tonto, strangely told by what appears to be a 150-year old Tonto. The two guys are chasing their demons and try to set things straight while doing good deeds along the way.

5 second review: It might not have been the best idea trying to mix the original concept, slapstick and serious stuff into one movie. It feels pretty stupid. Thank god Johnny Depp is a comedy genius. And the action is pretty original too, I must say.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 6/10
Box Office Mojo: 176 mio $ (on 09-08-2013) and counting

Friday, June 21, 2013

World War Z does not take its time to get fired up

5 second plot: A zombie virus spreads across the globe rapidly. It's up to Brad Pitt to travel around the world and figure out where the virus started and how it can be stopped. Preferably before the world has gone down the drain completely.

5 second review: That is 100% hardcore scary zombie-shit. And not too much bullshit, just facts. But our dear Brad is one lucky son of a gun isn't he.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 533 mio $ worldwide (on 06-09-2013)

The Human Race is seriously crappy

5 second plot: A bunch of people suddenly wind up in a crazy race for their lives. They have to run or die (the rules are a little bit more complicated but that's what it breaks down to). And I can't wait to tell you the ending right here right now: the one legged guy in the middle of the poster? He wins. No shit, right?

5 second review: Oh my god, this is a really shitty movie. It's just horrible from beginning to end. Everything about it. No wait: the idea is cool. But that's it.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 0/10

Monsters University is fun for the kids

5 second plot: This is the origin story of Mike and Sulley (you know: the guys from Monsters, Inc.) 's friendship. They met at the university from the title but weren't very good friends in the beginning. The opposite even. But to become scarers they had to join forces.

5 second review: This is more a movie for kids (aka the crowd that will buy all the fluffy merchandise) but still enjoyable for adults. The visuals are solid, the story is good and the voices are splendid.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 3: Badlands

5 second plot: Just waiting for the attack. The entire episode. Oh yeah, and there seems to be another president. And he thinks that our humans are teaming up with the bad aliens. And Hal thinks he's the mole, because evil Karen planted something in his head.

5 second review: This is a very slow episode. But that's okay, let's take a deep breath. The idea of an other new USA is pretty nice.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 6 Episode 1: Who Are You, Really?

5 second review: This sixth season starts with the same big bang as the previous season ended: Bill seems to be a fucking supergodvampire. All the other characters are running around like headless chickens trying to figure it out.

5 second plot: It starts with a bang, but then drops on its ass to set up the next season (slowly). But it's all good. And funny. And it rocks 100%. It's gonna be a good one, this season.

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our review: 9/10

Friday, June 14, 2013

Crossing Lines Season 1 Episode 1-2: Pilot

5 second plot: To fight international crime, you need international cops. That's what this show is all about: cops from all over the world, all of them with a special skill, fighting crime across borders. First up: a nasty serial killer that doesn't care about those borders.

5 second review: It looks and feels like a British cop shop with washed up American actors set in Europe. Everybody in the show (even the people on the street) speaks English (mostly with a weird accent). No matter where they are: Paris, Amsterdam,... . I don't think this will be a hit. But who knows.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 1/10

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Season 2 Episode 1-6

5 second plot: Jerry is at it again: drinking coffee with his funny buddy's. And fun stuff just happens. What's up with the fluorescent shoes though, Jerry?

5 second review: The thing I like the most, is that it is (or it feels anyway) so honest. I have a smile on my face the entire time. I simply love these comedian truths. But there is a big but: if you don't like Jerry, you're not going to like the show. Simply because, well, he's all over the place.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 10/10

Monday, June 10, 2013

Man of Steel

5 second plot: Just before Kal-El's home planet is destroyed his father sends him to earth. On earth he's got superhuman powers. On his tail is the evil general Zod who also escaped the home planet's devastation. And he wants something from Kal El. But most importantly: he wants him dead. And with him the entire population of earth.

5 second review: Not all details made sense to me, but the story sure did. Nice job, this reboot. They took chances and it paid off.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 647 mio $ (on 11-08-2013)

King and Maxwell Pilot

5 second plot: Two private investigators look into (it would be stupid to say investigate, right?) the death of a friend. They find out that he was murdered by someone high up the ladder and get themselves in the mix of the conspiracy.

5 second review: It's nothing new, it's a light cop story, only this time with private eyes instead of cops. It does get a bit overly dramatic from time to time.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 6/10

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 10: Mhysa

5 second plot: Family seems to be the central topic of this episode, with the Lannisters taking the lead. Most kingdoms are starting to realize that they should stop fucking around fighting each other and prepare for the mayhem that is coming from the other side of the wall. Even the witch is shitting her pants.

5 second review: Again, pretty brutal, but a walk in the park compared to the previous episode. It's not really the season finale I was expecting. The episode is good, but the ending is too corny to end a season where everyone was out to kill kill everyone else (faster, pussycat).

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 2: Collateral Damage

5 second plot: The Espheni (the bad guys) are going to attack on a large scale. The humans respond by destroying their power source. Without power, they can't charge their war robots. The result strangely enough is that they will still attack. Even on a bigger scale. Duh.

5 second review: All the aliens have got flashy names now. That's peculiar. But cool. The development with the baby is very interesting. I like that stuff.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Falling Skies Season 3 Episode 1: On Thin Ice

5 second plot: We jump 7 months ahead. Tom is now president of the new US. The human race has teamed up with another alien race. These 'good' aliens brought some kick ass weapons. But the bad ones also geared up.

5 second review: It's like we skipped a season. Too much stuff is going on at once. It feels like running down a hill. But if your feet can't keep up, you're going to go flat on your face. Let's see what the next episode brings.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Internship is quite the sales pitch

5 second plot: Two friends lose their sales job. They are not the brightest and not the youngest but they are good guys. They apply for an internship at Google. Their chances are slim to none, but they give it all they've got.

5 second review: It's not really a good movie. It's not very funny and it feels like a sales pitch for Google more than it should. But you've got these two puppies teaching everyone in the movie these beautiful life lessons. If you dig that, you'll be fine.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 6/10
Box Office Mojo: 93 mio $ worldwide (on 22-10-2013)

The Purge could have turned it up a notch

5 second plot: In the future there is one night where the citizens of the new USA can do whatever they want without getting arrested. So half the country goes on a killing spree. One family decides to take in a refugee. Not the brightest idea of the evening.

5 second review: I have this feeling that with an idea as great as this (for a movie anyway) they could have done a better job. The movie is okay, but it could have been great.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 6,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 87 mio $ worldwide (on 13-10-2013)

Thursday, June 6, 2013

V/H/S/2 turns it up a notch

5 second plot: While investigating the disappearance of a college student, a man and a woman stumble upon a collection of weird videotapes. They start watching them. The first one is about a guy with a chip in his eye to improve his vision. But he starts seeing nasty ghosts. Then there's a guy riding a bike who crosses paths with zombies. Next it's about a cult that unleashes something big. And finally a group of youngsters gets a visit from aliens.

5 second review: Wow, this one's way better than the first one. And a lot nastier. And a lot eerier. I'm impressed. The whole video collection thing still doesn't make sense to me, but all the separate shorts are really well done. But only for fans of the genre. Because it gets really juicy.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Bling Ring has a bit too little to tell

5 second plot: A group of friends start robbing Hollywood celebrities. They are surprised that they can get into everyone's house so easily. After a while they lose all sense of reality and don't seem to realize anymore that what they are doing is wrong.

5 second review: It's a great story to tell, but there was a bit too little to tell for Sofie apparently. So the movie is great (one big party really) up until the last 15 minutes. Then the film falls flat on its ass and the fun is over.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 6,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 7 mio $ worldwide (on 08-09-2013)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Mistresses Pilot

5 second plot: Men and women, married and not married, all having affairs with one another. Especially women, so it seems. One relationship a bit more complex than the other.

5 second review: It gets pretty hot and the woman are very pretty, but it does not get as steamy as you would expect from a suggestive title like that.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 5/10

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 9: The Rains of Castamere

5 second plot: This is an action packed episode (finally!) that even feels like a funny relief for a moment but then makes a gigantic swing in tone. This episode will surprise you. Guaranteed.

5 second review: WTF. This felt even worse then the Ned Stark beheading. Was this in the book? I'm a little bit in shock. That never happens. What a great feeling.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 10/10