Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Inside Amy Schumer Season 1 Episode 1: Bad Decisions

5 second plot: Comedian Amy Schumer does some stand-up, some sketches and some interviews on the street. It's a bit like a one woman Saturday Night Live show.

5 second review: It's funny, it's over the top, but it needs to be your thing. And it wasn't entirely mine. But I wouldn't zap away if it was on TV.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, April 26, 2013

The Big Wedding

5 second plot: Missy and Alejandro are getting married. His adoptive parents, who are divorced, have to pretend they are still married, so they do not upset Alejandro's very conservative birth mother. Needless to say, this does not go as planned.

5 second review: This is a very simple romantic comedy. It's not bad, but it's not good either. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's painfully not funny. The large cast of familiar faces does not lift the movie to a higher level. On the contrary.

IMDb score: 5,3/10
Our score: 5,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 22 mio $ worldwide

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Byzantium is quite lovely

5 second plot: Eleanor is a vampire who has been on the run with her mother for over 200 years. They have to run because they broke the rules of a secret brotherhood. They end up in the place it all began, centuries ago.

5 second review: This is a beautiful, tragic, romantic story. But it also has vampires, beheadings and a lot of interesting mythical background information. The acting is great and you can feel the experience of the director in this almost perfectly crafted movie.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 85.000 $ worldwide (on 19-09-2013)

Friday, April 19, 2013


5 second plot: Earth was attacked by an alien race. It has become uninhabitable, so humanity has moved to Titan. Energy is still being harvested on planet Earth. And Jack is there for maintenance and defense of the infrastructure.

5 second review: Pretty well done but it feels like some important sparks are missing. Nice sci-fi and nice story but too little time to go into some necessary detail. For instance, a little bit of information about the aliens would had been nice.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 7/10
Box Office Mojo: 286 mio $ worldwide (on 04-08-2013)

Monday, April 15, 2013

Defiance Pilot

5 second plot: Earth was attacked some 30 years ago by an alien race. Now, both species sort of live in peace together. The story unfolds around two strangers arriving in the town of Defiance.

5 second review: The idea is good, but the story, dialogue and graphics are not. It's a shame, I had my hopes up for a great new sci-fi series.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, April 12, 2013

Da Vinci's Demons Season 1 Episode 1: The Hanged Man

2 second plot: The 'real' story of the mysterious Leonardo DaVinci. Or everything but just that.

2 second review: I hate these fucking historically incorrect smart ass modern takes on real history. Yuk.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 0/10

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pain and Gain

5 second plot: Marky Mark wants to live the American dream. Well, actually he just wants to have a lot of money without working too hard for it. So he kidnaps a wealthy guy and takes his house and cash. Only, he and his partners screw up everything they do. Big time. Hilariously big time. And this is a true story.

5 second review: I really needed a work-out after this movie. Marky Mark is pumped up! And so is The Rock. These guys really made me laugh a lot. With simple slapstick. Not everyone is going to enjoy this film though. But I did.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 50 mio $ (on 20-08-2013)

Scary MoVie aka Scary Movie 5

5 second plot: Charlie Sheen gets himself killed after a freaky night with Lindsay Lohan. His 3 kids disappear. They are found in a cabin in the woods by Snoop Dogg. A demon called Mama took over their mother's role. Now it's up to Charlie's brother and his girlfriend to save the kids.

5 second review: All the celebrities on the poster only have a cameo in the movie. Charlie Sheen is the only one that rocks. And Lindsay. The references to the other movies will sometimes put a smile on your face, but overall this is a shitty movie.

IMDb score: 3,7/10
Our score: 3/10
Box office mojo: 71 mio $ worldwide (on 23-06-2013)

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Californication Season 6 Episode 12: I'll Lay My Monsters Down

5 second plot: Atticus gives a mind blowing concert, Hank decides to go with him on tour, but changes his mind in the midst of a dream with his dead pall Ashby and runs back to the love of his life.

5 second review: Hank is still my hero, and the season was good, but the first seasons were mind blowing, and if you think about it, then 'good' is not really good enough.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, April 5, 2013

Evil Dead

5 second plot: Family and friends are trying to help Mia through her cold turkey. They do it in a cabin in the woods. In that cabin a dark force is lurking. And it only needs one smart ass to summon it.

5 second review: This is a pretty decent horror movie: lots of scares and lots of nastiness. The story is not all that, the focus lies on the tension, the mutilations and the killings. But that was all we were expecting.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 98 mio $ (on 03-08-2013)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Hannibal Episode 1: Apéritif

2 sec plot: The FBI is hunting down a serial killer with an appetite for human flesh, and they need all the help they can get.

2 sec review: Too complicated and experimental for me

IMDb score: 8,0/10
Our score: 6/10