Friday, November 4, 1988

They Live has got great aliens

5 second plot: A lonesome cowboy comes to town looking for a job and a place to stay. He stumbles upon a box of special sunglasses. If you put them on, you see the world as it really is: ruled by ugly ass aliens. The time has come to fight back.

5 second review: The aliens are truly legendary classic cult stuff, but the movie itself sucks big time. The problem is that there is simply not very much going on. The biggest action sequence is a fight between the two guys that will be working together to bring down the aliens. And this fight just keeps on going and going up to a point where it gets ridiculous.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 5/10

Thursday, June 2, 1988

Grave of the Fireflies is almost unbearable to watch

5 second plot: A young boy is left with the care of his baby sister in World War II Japan. They are forsaken by everyone, have no home and have a hard time trying to survive.

5 second review: You know upfront the kids are going to die, but still, the hard life these kids have to live and suffer and then the little girl getting sick... My hart almost snapped in two pieces. It's one of the saddest movies I have ever seen in my life. Just horrible.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 2/10

Friday, January 29, 1988

Nekromantik is really gross

5 second plot: A guy really loves his job cleaning up crime or accident scenes. He has to clean up the dead people. What he really enjoys is bringing home some souvenirs: pieces of dead people. One day he really surprises his girlfriend when he brings home an entire dead corpse. His girlfriend is really turned on by this. And so is he.

5 second review: I don't know about you but I think licking a decaying corpse is extremely gross. I tried to figure out what sick mind would think of making a movie like this, but I guess it's just pure and simple gore-shock. This is not for everyone. And if you didn't figure it out already: the quality of the movie and the acting is awful. Oh yeah: and it's in German.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 0/10