Friday, December 14, 2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is everything it's supposed to be

5 second plot: A hobbit, a wizard and a bunch of dwarfs are going on a dangerous adventure to kick the evil fire dragon Smaug out of the dwarf kingdom in the Lonely Mountain.

5 second review: It's quite incredible how Peter Jackson always delivers what the world expects of him, even if expectations are unbelievably high. And the stakes as well. For me, there are several moments that I don't like, mostly the big CGI scenes like the one with the trolls. But overall, it's a great adventure.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 8/10

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Silent Night is very decent

5 second plot: A killer Santa selects a quiet little town to go and kill a bunch of people. And he likes to kill spectacularly. The local cops are on his tail but they don't really have the expertise to deal with this kind of psycho.

5 second review: This is a very decent slashermovie! It surprised me very much. If you are a fan of classic slashers, where blood seems to fly all over the place, this is a must see for you. Nice job. I don't understand why the IMDb score is so low. Probably because, for most people, it's not okay to fuck with Santa.

IMDb score: 5,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Life of Pi

2 sec plot: Boy gets stuck on a lifeboat with a tiger after his ship sinks.

2 sec review: This really is a very beautiful film but the end is a bit disappointing.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, October 26, 2012

Cloud Atlas

5 second plot: This story is a journey through time, covering several millenniums and unraveling separate stories that are connected through the souls of the participants.

5 second review: It is a long movie, but a lot happens in it, so it's not a drag, but it is somewhat of a challenge to hang in there until the end.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 7/10
Box Office Mojo: 130 mio $ worldwide (on 23-05-2013)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

American Horror Story Season 2: Asylum is ridiculous

5 second plot: The year is 1964, the location is an insane asylum run by the church. This season mixes the story of serial killers, a Nazi doctor, alien abductions, a possession, human flesh eating monsters, the angel of death herself and a lot of crazy folk into one (not very) coherent whole. Even Anne Frank gets to make an appearance.

5 second review: There is simply too much stuff in the mix here. There are some very cool and memorable scenes (the angel of death), but it's not more than that. The first 4 episodes are completely ridiculous and the last 3 are a boring stretch simply to get to the cool total of 13. Good performances from the cast, but the story is a very big mess.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 4/10

Friday, October 5, 2012

V/H/S is unsettling

5 second plot: A group of fucked up friends breaks into a house and starts watching some videos. We (the viewers) also get to see these (disturbing) short stories. We've got (something like) a vampire, a couple of psycho-killers (one of them sort of supernatural), ghosts, a haunted house and I think even aliens.

5 second review: The quality of the film (VHS ya know) is very bad. I know it's the whole idea but that doesn't make it less annoying. However. I must say the movie surprised me more than once. You simply don't know what's coming next. And it scared the shit out of me here and there. So. Not bad at all.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score; 7/10

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Two and a Half Men Season 10

5 second plot: Jake is a cook in the army; they try to keep him away from guns. Walden meets and loses a lot of woman. Alan is with Lindsey through most of the season but she dumps him at the end.

5 second review: They try to keep this show as fresh as possible. And it is working. They introduce a lot of great side characters that give the show new mojo. The jokes are still amazing, you kind of wonder where they keep getting the stuff. The running joke about kicking Alan out of the house is getting a bit old though.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 9/10

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Seasoning House is quite depressing

5 second plot: Set in the Balkans during the war, this is a story of young girls who are enslaved into prostitution for the soldiers. A deaf girl is enslaved as the boss's angel and has to take care of the 'house'. One day the soldiers that killed her family show up. And she fights back.

5 second review: We are in the Balkans. And everyone speaks English. With a Eastern European accent. It happens often in movies like these, but I will never get used to it. The subject of this film is horrifying. I like a good horror movie now and then, but this is far from fun to watch. There are some great performances in here. And a couple of good bad guy killings as well. But overall: very depressing.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, August 10, 2012

Twixt is painfully bad

5 second plot: A writer of witch stories ends up in a small town where he dreams a great new story. The question is why he is dreaming about stuff that probably really happened?

5 second review: No way this was directed by the real Francis Ford Coppola. This movie is horrible. It's one of the worst I have ever seen. And that's saying something. Is he completely losing his mind?

IMDb score: 4,9/10
Our score: 0/10

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Tall Man

2 second plot: In Cold Rock every couple of months a child goes missing, never to be heard of again.

2 second review: Cold, dark and mysterious with a strange twist that should take everyone by surprise.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 5 mio $ worldwide (on 20-05-2013)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Season 1

5 second plot: Jerry Seinfeld calls up his funny palls, picks them up in an appropriate car (someone even asked me if I was watching Top Gear), has a cup of coffee and a bite to eat and funny shit just happens.

5 second review: It's brilliant, it's beautiful, it's real, it's the kind of comedy I want to see. And it's free: it's just sitting there, on that thing called 'the internet'.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 10/10

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episodes 1-8

5 second plot: First the guys have a big mess to clean up. Then they simply start up again. But this time they are in charge. Well, Heisenberg is. By the end of the first half of the season, Walter is transformed into a psychopathic killer who wants to build nothing less than an empire.

5 second review: The schemes they come up with are brilliant (giant magnet, train robbery,...) and very entertaining. The Skyler-Walter situation is a bit too much drama, but everything else is really good off the chart television. Can't wait to find out how this will end.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9/10

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Hunt was not for me

5 second plot: A man's life gets totally screwed up after a little girl makes up a story about how she saw his private parts.

5 second review: 10 minutes in you already know where they are going with it. And I already made up my mind at that point that it was going to be way too much drama for me. And it was. The production of the movie is fine, it's just the story that I really hate.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 0/10

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Newsroom Episode 1: We Just Decided To

2 sec plot: A brilliant news anchor gets back in touch with what he's good at: bringing real news.

2 sec review: This truly is a perfectly orchestrated show.

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our score: 10/10

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Falling Skies Season 2

5 second plot: The Second Massachusetts is heading for Charleston where they have heard a new United States has risen from the ashes. Half way there they form an unusual alliance to have a bigger chance defeating the alien invaders.

5 second review: A lot of drama, but also a lot of good fighting, great alien monsters, good story, very intense at times,... and an amazing cliffhanger at the end. Nice one.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, May 25, 2012

Intouchables makes you feel warm inside

5 second plot: Philippe is a very rich man who is paralyzed from the neck down. He needs someone to take care of him 24/7. By 'accident' he crosses paths with Driss, a young guy with a good hart who lives in the projects. Somehow they connect and become friends.

5 second review: It's unbelievable that this is a true story. It's the most positive, uplifting and warm tale you could ever come across. And I must say I also laughed my ass off. This Driss guy is seriously funny. A beautiful film.

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, May 18, 2012

Entrance is extremely boring

5 second plot: Girl talks to friend, girl walks dog, girl feeds dog, girl goes to work, girl gets her hair done,... you get the idea, right?

5 second review: I'm sorry, but I only saw 20 mts of this film. I had to stop because it bored the living shit out of me. It's just random images (filmed with a cheap camcorder) of a girl doing everyday stuff. Yawn. It probably gets very interesting further on, but I wouldn't know.

IMDb score: 4,5/10
Our score: 0/10

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan's Hope is all about the people

5 second plot: A documentary of Comic-Con: the four day convention uniting geeks from around the world in their celebration of comics and all high-end stuff related to that. Or not.

5 second review: This documentary is more about the people than about the convention itself. And I am more interested in the latter. So this was kind of a bummer for me.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 5/10
Box Office Mojo: 35.000 $ worldwide

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Duck Dynasty Season 1 Episode 1: Family Funny Business

5 second plot: This is the real life story of a Louisiana family that runs a multi million dollar business making duck calls (Duck Commander) but still lives in the backwoods and stays true to its old school Louisiana lifestyle.

5 second review: I haven't had this much fun with a TV series in a long time. It's so laugh out loud funny, it's hard to believe the whole thing isn't set up. But even then it would still be really funny.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Woman in Black has got some good scares up her sleeve

5 second plot: A young lawyer has to go through all the documents of a recently deceased woman to make sure the firm he works for has her final will. He quickly finds out that there's a ghost in her house: a woman in black. And every time she is seen, a child dies in the town nearby.

5 second review: This is a straightforward scary ghost movie with a rather thin story. There's not much happening, but the location is very creepy and there are a couple of genuinely good scares. The question remains why people keep living nearby if they're convinced their kids will die a horrible death (most likely).

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 6,5/10