Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 8: Creatures of the Night

5 second plot: The CDC doctors coincidentally team up with rat guy. They were both looking for ultraviolet light. After they find it they all get stuck in a convenience store. The hacker chick is also there (coincidentally). Apparently the master isn't very happy about the fact that they hurt one of his favorite disciples (crazy Nazi guy). So he dispatches a whole bunch of vampires to the location.

5 second review: This episode is one big action thriller. They are stuck inside and the creatures try to get in. And quickly more and more of them arrive. The tension rises high and everyone gets to show his/her action skills.

IMDb score: not yet rated on posting date
Our score: 8/10

Friday, August 29, 2014

As Above, So Below is mostly below

5 second plot: Scarlett finds a key her father was looking for all his life. This is the key to finding the philosophers stone, which can give eternal life and cool stuff like that. They have to go in the Parisian catacombs to get to the next clue. Getting in is easy, but they quickly realize it's the getting out part that's going to be a bitch.

5 second review: If you're claustrophobic, you don't want to go near this movie. It's terrifyingly claustrophobic. It's got great clues and great history references (those catacombs are real!). It's like a small Da Vinci Code. And it's creepy as hell (just wait for it).

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Two Faces of January gets interesting eventually

5 second plot: In Athens, a crooked investment banker accidentally kills a private detective that was sent to have him pay his debt. Lucky for him he made a friend that same day that can get him a new passport and out of there quickly. This friend is mostly interested in his money. And his wife. A little bit.

5 second review: The first half of the movie is too relaxed. They just walk around, having a good time. While they should be panicking like crazy. But in the second half it gets interesting. Two men (one paranoid as hell) and one beautiful woman together on the run? That's asking for trouble.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 5/10

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 9 and 10: Care and Feeding and A Pack of Cards

5 second plot: The offspring is on the run. It's using Sparks to get away and to help it get stronger. Yasumoto is trying to get to it by using Molly and her family. Ethan is becoming friends with the guy that wants to see him destroyed.

5 second review: We get to see a bit through the eyes of the offspring but I would really like to see the little critter itself by now. We get a little bit of a glimpse but it's not much. It hasn't made a lot of friends since it got to earth. Maybe it's going to be a showdown between alien-baby and robot-boy. Or maybe they hook up and kill us all.

IMDb score: 7,3/10 and 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10

The November Man is full of surprises

5 second plot: An ex-CIA killer is re-activated to extract a spy, who happens to be the love of his life. But she gets killed. He goes after the boys and girls that did it but runs into a whole lot more trouble than he bargained for. Old school Russian-American politics kinda trouble.

5 second review: This movie brings you right back to the good old spy movie days, without being too repetitive. Okay, maybe some cliches are tackled, but that's part of the deal: the good spy guy always gets the girl. I especially liked the fast moving action sequences. With a highlight when Olga Kurylenko hits her adversary right in the face with a big shovel. Auch, that's gotta hurt.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 7: For Services Rendered

5 second plot: We get some back-story on the 'relationship' between the old hunter and the second in command vampire. Apparently the old hunter made the coffin back in the day. Meanwhile in the present time he is teaming up with the CDC boys and girls. Since the virus is spreading to rapidly, the new plan is to eliminate the master.

5 second review: I think they are going to need a better plan... This is a bit of a boring episode with lots of irrelevant information. But we meet some new and very interesting friends in the last minutes. They make the boring stuff disappear like a fart in the wind.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 8/10

True Blood Season 7 Episode 10: Thank You (final episode)

5 second plot: Hoyt and Jessica get married. Bill asks Sookie to kill him with her last remaining light ball (which would also mean she loses all her fairy powers). He wants her to live a normal life. Eric and Pam lose their patience with the Yakuza and take over the New Blood operation. And somehow, life seems to fall in its place.

5 second review: First up: Eric has got one of the funniest scenes of the entire series. He is awesomely cool. This final episode might not be a good enough ending for some fans (just look at the IMDb score), but for me, and I was there from the start, all is well. I like what they did with it. It's sad, sure, but it's also very beautiful. A thumbs up from me.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, August 22, 2014

The Prince is old school

5 second plot: A former hit-man's daughter mingles with the wrong crowd and disappears. He goes out to find her. But this means going back to his hit-man playing ground from 20 years ago. And not everyone is happy to see him again. Some people still want him dead.

5 second review: This movie feels like one of those old school action B-flicks from the '90s. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but lots of action, big body-count and a formerly big star to put in the middle of the poster. It's cheap ass, but okay for a B movie.

IMDb score: 4,5/10
Our score: 5/10

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 7 and 8: More in Heaven and Earth and Incursion

5 second plot: Molly wants to see the offspring (that's what they are calling the alien baby) no matter what. She gets help out of an unexpected corner. Ethan suddenly knows how to speak Japanese. John wants to slow his learning process down a bit (to protect him) but Ethan found a way to shut him out. And something's up with Julie's boyfriend.

5 second review: Wooow, the baby talking to Molly through a flock of birds? Awesome! Ethan turning into a Terminator nightmare? Scary! But it can still go either way: let's hope he turns into Arnie from T2 instead of T1. I'm getting a bit annoyed by some plain stupid stuff (like how 'easy' some things go) but I'm just going to go with the flow for now.

IMDb score: 7,7/10 and 8,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is awesomely cool

5 second plot: We're back in the city from the title. And once again: good meets evil. This time, an ace guy named Johnny meets the evil senator and beats him in a card game. A goddess named Ava gets Mr. good guy Dwight all fired up. And nice stripper Nancy convinces iron fist Marv to go with her on a suicide mission to kill the senator.

5 second review: The visuals, the pace, the action, the use of color... everything is just perfect. And sexy... oh my god, this one takes 'smokin' hot' to a next level. It's so cool that these amazing high profile actors and actresses do what they do in a not so very average movie like this. They really give it all they've got.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10

The Zero Theorem is incomprehensible

5 second plot: Set in a Terry Gilliam universe, we follow Qohen, a troubled man who is waiting for an important phone call and in the meantime does some stuff on his computer. Since he is very good at doing this stuff, his management decides he can have a go at proving the zero theorem. What ever the hell that is.

5 second review: Although I did like a couple of thing in this crazy Terry Gilliam universe I must say I couldn't make much sense of these randomly put together bits of nuts.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 4/10

Varsity Blood is too low budget

5 second plot: It's Halloween. There's a group of cheerleaders and jocks. And there's a psycho killer who dresses as their mascot. And he wants them all dead. Because he's holding a grudge.

5 second review: There simply wasn't enough budget (or imagination) to make something decent out of this material. It's bad.

IMDb score: 3,8/10
Our score: 0/10

Sunday, August 17, 2014

True Blood Season 7 Episode 9: Love Is to Die

5 second plot: Bill refuses to be cured and says he's ready for his true death. Sookie is not too happy with that. Hoyt and Jessica hook up again. She tells him about their previous relationship and the forget-glare. That leaves Bridget running to Jason. But he makes one thing clear: there will be no fucking. Pam and Eric get into some trouble with their business associates.

5 second review: It's a weird episode. There is some serious and sad boohoo stuff mixed with some crazy funny stuff. Bill is dying on the one hand and Jason is trying not to fuck a girl on the other hand. And oh, Eric finally fucks Ginger. Also crazy funny.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 8/10

The Strain Season 1 Episode 6: Occultation

5 second plot: The vampire-virus is spreading like wildfire. The only advantage the uninfected have, is that these creatures can't survive in sunlight. The bad news is that there is going to be a solar eclipse in the middle of the day. Eph is taken into custody by the FBI. No-one believes his story. They think he's a killer. Rat guy is spooked. The old hunter needs help. Fast. But luckily he seems to have a plan.

5 second review: This time we get to see what happens when the creatures come into contact with the sun. It seems to be one new viewer-treat every episode. I'm not sure where they are going with the 'virus' spreading so fast. Right now it feels more like Outbreak than True Blood.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, August 15, 2014

The Giver is a nice surprise

5 second plot: In a perfect future society (created after the previous one was destroyed) there are lots of rules, no free choices, no differences (not even color) but there's also no conflict. At all. Jonas is selected to become the new receiver of memory. When he learns the secret history of the world, he starts asking difficult questions.

5 second review: What a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting a fresh take on the future like this. It's not that we haven't seen a story like this before, but visually it's something new entirely. I really like what they did with the colors. It's also an amazing cast. Great performances from everyone involved. It's a shame the ending was a bit rushed compared to the rest of the movie.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Boyhood is mesmerizing

5 second plot: We get a sneak peek in the life of Mason (and his family) from age 5 to 18. It's basically everyday life. The special thing about this movie is that we are always looking at the same actors. The movie was shot over 12 years so the actors really age with it.

5 second review: When you're watching this movie, you just know you're watching something special. It's a beautiful story that will mesmerize a lot of people. It's a bit slow from time to time but if you look around, there's always something going on. It's good that there's not too much explanation about which time we are in; we're given just enough hints to know where we're at.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Let's Be Cops is light entertainment

5 second plot: Ryan and Justin are a couple of sad losers that haven't achieved anything in life. One day they dress up as cops and soon realize that the uniform gets them the attention they desperately seek. Before they know it, they are in way over their heads in cop stuff.

5 second review: The ridiculousness goes too far from time to time and the jokes are often rip-offs of other comedies but for the most part this is a fun buddy cop movie with a couple of laugh out loud moments. And everyone's acting like they mean business. Like the bad guy. He looks awesome.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 7/10

Extant Season 1 Episode 6: Nightmares

5 second plot: Ethan has a nightmare. But the thing is: he wasn't programmed to dream. Also: he is getting very smart very quickly. The alien baby is getting in the scientists' heads. And he (it?) isn't happy being locked up. The astronaut that was presumed dead pops up. He steals a very important video and tries to contact Molly.

5 second review: Etan's role is becoming clear. He is getting extremely smart and can help Molly in her search for the truth. There's some cool new future technology stuff in this episode. But the invisible bugging device is taking it a bit too far (and making it a tad too easy). There's also a scene (the one with the changing of the robotic arm) that is very poorly done. That's a very cheap shot.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, August 10, 2014

True Blood Season 7 Episode 8: Almost Home

5 second plot: Sarah Newlin really is the cure. The Yakuza want to use her blood to make a cure. And then sell it to sick vampires. And make a good profit. Sookie figures out that there is a cure and wants it (fast) to save Bill. Tara's got something to say from the beyond. Jason finds out his ex has got Jessica and Andy's kid. Bubba pops in to save their day.

5 second review: I was expecting Tara's message to be a bit more spectacular. Bubba saving Jason's day sure WAS spectacular. What's going on with him? It feels like his story will develop further. And what's Bill up to?

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 8,5/10

The Strain Season 1 Episode 5: Runaways

5 second plot: Eph hooks up with the old hunter. The old guy explains where he first encountered the creature and what needs to be done to stop the infection from spreading. Which is basically: chop all the infected's heads off. The rat guy also goes on a quest to figure out what's going on with his rat buddies. He finds a lot more than he bargained for.

5 second review: I don't like the fact that people from Poland talk English in Germany. I know that they are trying to make it easier for the viewer, but I just can't see past it. Why is it only now spreading like a disease? Why didn't it spread like this in Germany? And the word is out: vampires. Are these vampires? I don't know. But they don't like the sun. And silver. And drink blood. So I guess they are.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Expendables 3 is a blast

5 second plot: Sly is sent in to take out Mel Gibson. First he messes up with his old team. He then rounds up a new team and messes up again. So now the old team has to go in to save the new team. And after that both teams have to double up to take on an entire army. Needless to say there's a lot of explosions and stuff.

5 second review: The action stars just keep popping up in this third ridiculously fun action packer. My personal favorite is Wesley Snipes: welcome back, man. Next is Antonio Banderas. It could have gone completely (comically) wrong with his character, but he nails it. And I just love Ronda Rousey. She is da bomb.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, August 8, 2014

What If is (almost) all good

5 second plot: Wallace is a really nice guy who is looking for the love of his life. One day he meets a very sweet girl who might be the one. But she's got a boyfriend. So Wallace and her decide to become friends. As they become best friends, Wallace is having a difficult time trying to hide his true feelings.

5 second review: This is one of those beautifully romantic movies. A big recommendation from me to watch this with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You have to get past a horrible first five minutes though. After that, it's all good.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 8/10

Into the Storm is spectacular

5 second plot: A group of storm chasers is making a documentary about tornado's. They've got the equipment that can get them in one piece through the eye of a storm. When a storm hits the small town of Silverton, they get more than they bargained for. Their quest quickly turns into a struggle to survive.

5 second review: The non-storm parts are terrible. The viewer is treated like a dumbass. And some of the acting is really awful. But then the storm hits. And I think I must have kept my breath for 30 mts. Holy shit, these storms are cool. Of course it goes way over the top, but the tension rises so high, it felt like I was right in the middle of it. So... well done I guess?

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The Inbetweeners 2 is pretty funny actually

5 second plot: One of the gang is bragging to his friends about his glorious life in Australia, banging chicks all day. The other three nitwits believe him and head over there. Of course they quickly find out that none of it is true. But they stay there anyways and try to make the best of it.

5 second review: This is one of those very funny piss and shit movies where you go 'no the fuck they didn't' a couple of times. Also, they are swearing a lot and talking shit about girls. It's really childish, but really funny. Funny in its simplicity.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 8/10

Extant Season 1 Episode 5: What on Earth Is Wrong?

5 second plot: Molly and Ethan are found unconscious in the woods. Molly isn't pregnant anymore. Everyone thinks she's crazy. And her friend the doctor has to play along with the lies, so Molly has got no-one to back up her story. Ethan is not doing well. John and Julie can't get him started up again.

5 second review: It's cool (but also frustrating) that only we, the audience, know that Molly isn't crazy. It's a bit (of let's say: very) stupid that they just let her come to work again. The new energy filter is awesome. This, together with the images of the thriving baby boy, is again very promising.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8,5/10