Friday, March 31, 2017

Ghost in the Shell is very cool

5 second plot: A young woman's brain is successfully transplanted into a mechanical body. The result is a bad ass soldier called 'Major'. On one of her missions she encounters a mysterious hacker. This encounter leads to her questioning her own existence.

5 second review: Scarlett looks awesome, the hacker is cool, the world looks the way it should look (in my opinion), the cybertech shit and stuff is solid and the action is good. There could have been a little bit more action and little less walking around though. And there's some seriously shitty CGI in the final showdown.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10

T2 Trainspotting is good but not great

5 second plot: Renton returns to his home town after 20 years and catches up with his old pals. They are all doing great. And they're very happy to see him. Not.

5 second review: Flashy images: check; noisy soundtrack: check; bleak British colors: check. This is a good update (especially the first encounters of Renton with his pals) but some things feel like a sad attempt to be great again (the 'chose life' update for instance). 

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 15: Something They Need

5 second plot: Tara tells Rick where he can find lots of guns. The gang tries to take the guns peacefully (sounds funny huh). Sasha is Negan's prisoner. He wants her to join him. She says 'yes' too easily so he doesn't buy it. Maggie needs to watch out for the leader of the Hilltop what's-his-name. He's bad news.

5 second review: Did I miss an episode where Tara was trying to decide what to do? She promised she wouldn't tell anyone about the hidden group. I didn't really know where they were going with it at first but I loved the Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-zombies. They were there to make us not hate Rick for stealing the guns from a weaker group. Because now he saved them ya know... Too bad the group-name 'Saviors' is already taken.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, March 24, 2017

Life sure is scary

5 second plot: Scientists orbiting earth examine a microscopic lifeform from Mars. It's all going very well. Until they piss it off.

5 second review: This movie is not a pleasant watch. You know what's going to happen from the get go. And you really don't want it to happen. And then all of a sudden you realize it's even worse than you thought. And then... it gets worse. The alien life form is not always as impressive as I had hoped, but the movie sure is scary.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 14: The Other Side

5 second plot: Sasha, Rosita and their big ass gun are going to try to take out Negan. The Saviors visit the Hilltop. They've come for the doctor, since Negan threw their last one in the stove.

5 second review: It's not easy to keep a TV series interesting for 7 seasons. This episode sure does make that clear. I was wondering why Sasha was mourning so hard, but now I remembered that she was with what's his name. The Saviors came for the doctor with 50 men (approx.). Why so many? That doesn't make sense. They wanted us to think they came looking for Daryl probably. Well, congrats, you fooled me.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 5/10

Friday, March 17, 2017

The Belko Experiment is quite entertaining

5 second plot: All employees of the Belko company are suddenly locked up in their building. They've got 2 hours to kill 30 people or 60 will die.

5 second review: I think almost every stereotype I could possibly imagine is in this movie. For instance: the sleeping security guard. It's a crazy story, but the actors are okay and it is actually quite entertaining. If you're into crazy shit.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 13: Bury Me Here

5 second plot: Carol is homesick for Alexandria. The Saviors piss the King off. So I guess he will join the fight (surprise surprise). Morgan loses his shit.

5 second review: Everyone's acting like it's a surprise the Kingdom will join the fight. But we all knew it was going to happen. The Saviors were going to do something unforgivable so the King could change his mind. I just feel like the writers could have made it a bit more interesting. I think they are running out of juice.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, March 10, 2017

Kong: Skull Island is too much

5 second plot: A team of scientists, soldiers and monster hunters (and a photographer (they just needed an excuse to bring Brie Larson along on their trip)) want to go explore a newly discovered island. But the big creatures on this island want to eat them for breakfast.

5 second review: I don't like it when they try to explain the things happening in a movie like this scientifically. It's a monster movie, man. We'll just go with the flow. However, in this case everything is so overly exaggerated that it's simply too much. There's big and there's too big. Also, make up your mind about which emotion you want us to go along with: one minute dead people are flying around, the next there's a picknick. Anyway: thank God they brought Brie Larson to the party.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 3/10

Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 12: Say Yes

5 second plot: Rick and Michonne are out camping. They are venturing far and away and eventually strike gold. They find the guns they need to give to the crazy all-in-black group who will help them take on the saviors. But apparently they'll need more guns. TARA KNOWS WHERE TO FIND MORE GUNS. Rosita is tired of waiting and is going to go for it. Maybe. Probably.

5 second review: If Michonne doesn't stop smiling I'm gonna stop watching. I'm sorry but I just can't take it. I seriously do NOT like the all-in-black team. They are too phoney, they look like they come from another universe. What was up with the fucked up CGI deer? Did anyone else see this? They couldn't get a real deer?

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, March 3, 2017

Logan doesn't fuck around

5 second plot: In the near future (2029 or something like that) Logan (aka the Wolverine, but you knew that) is hiding together with Professor X. He's losing his powers and getting weaker every day. He ends up on the radar of an evil organization when a mutant girl with powers like him escapes.

5 second review: Wow, I wasn't expecting an all out brutal Wolverine like this! What a treat! (If you're into body parts (especially heads) being chopped off and all that.) I prefer seeing a Wolverine in top shape but I guess this is a story that needed to be told. You can tell Hugh Jackman invested a lot emotionally in this movie. The final showdown is legendary.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 9,5/10