Sunday, July 31, 2016

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens goes beyond ludicrous

5 second plot: When Las Vegas's anti-sharknado technology fails, it's up to Ian Ziering and co to stop it.

5 second review: If you start watching a movie with a title like this, you know what you're getting yourself into. It's not as much fun as I expected. It's packed with visual effects. But every last one of them looks ridiculous. Why stuff your movie with effects on a shoestring budget? Tara Reid's dad reconstructed her body. If she says 'turn on the force' a light-saber comes out of her arm (where her hand used to be). I shit you not. Look at the picture below.

IMDb score: 4,4/10
Our score: 1/10

Friday, July 29, 2016

Bad Moms is textbook mommy feel good

5 second plot: Amy is a mother of two with a busy job and no me-time what so ever. When she finds out her husband is cheating on her with an online girlfriend, she decides it's time for a change. She finds two mom-soulmates to make the change happen. But not everything works out the way she thought it would.

5 second review: It's a movie filled with feel good mommy pep talk. If that sentence made you barf in your mouth, you might want to stay away from this one. There's a lot of whining but there's also cool crazy partying. That combined with the feel good makes this movie kind of okay.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 6/10

Into the Forest is heavy stuff

5 second plot: A father and his two daughters have to survive without electricity in their remote house in the forest when a nation-wide power outage hits their region.

5 second review: The main characters do crazy things no-one would ever do in a situation like theirs. This reminded me constantly that I was watching a movie. It's a heavy drama. It felt like I was watching the movie with a ton of bricks on my shoulders. Well, it's kind of the end of the world so I guess there's nothing light about that.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 5/10

Friday, July 22, 2016

Train to Busan is great

5 second plot: A father and his daughter are trying to get to the girl's mother who lives in Busan while a virus breaks out that turns everyone into raging flesh eating lunatics.

5 second review: This is a very well made and very tense South Korean horror movie. It's got great visuals, a simple but good story and a big heart. You might want to go with subtitles though (unless you speak South Korean, that is).

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 8/10

Star Trek Beyond is very entertaining

5 second plot: Kirk and co go on a rescue mission in a mysterious nebula. What they find inside is a little bit more than they bargained for.

5 second review: There's a lot of action, special effects, one liners, weird looking creatures and all of the basic crew members are accounted for (along with their specific characteristics). I think the general idea was to make a movie that reminds us how much fun the original Star Trek was. It's very entertaining but not very original.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, July 18, 2016

Jason Bourne is the shit

5 second plot: Jason Bourne is still looking for answers. The CIA still wants him dead.

5 second review: It's a very exciting, fast moving action thriller. Its everything you would expect from a Jason Bourne film. You have to be a bit open minded though and not ask too many difficult questions. Like why in the world he is bare knuckle fighting in the beginning of the story.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Friday, July 15, 2016

Stranger Things Season 1 is a big '80s adventure

5 second plot: Probable spoilers ahead! It's 1983. In a small town a little girl and a big monster escape from a secret government research facility. At the same time a kid goes missing. His friends and family start looking for him. But they will have to go to a very dark place if they want to get him back.

5 second review: This is a very well made 8-episode kids adventure TV show with a very scary monster. It's a little bit of an E.T. and Goonies wannebee but it goes a lot darker than these feel good movies. Personally I would have preferred the 1,5 hour movie version because some of the first episodes are a bit of a stretch. But overall: well done. And a special hip hop hooray for Millie Bobby Brown. This girl can act! Wow.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Infiltrator is great

5 second plot:  In 1985 Robert Mazur, a U.S. Customs official, goes deep undercover to take on the big boys in drug trafficking. Instead of following the drugs, he follows the money. It doesn't take long for him to attract the attention of the top of the food chain.

5 second review: It's incredible that this movie is based on a true story. These people laid their lives on the line to get high end criminals behind bars. Everyone is telling lie after lie to cover up the previous lie, people sitting next to them are getting killed,... You can feel the story moving towards a big climax, but you don't know who is going to live to tell it. Awesome performances (not just you Brian Cranston) in a great movie.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Ghostbusters is not bad

5 second plot: An all girl's team of ghost busters assembles when paranormal activity in New York City starts running wild.

5 second review: I don't think it's going to become a classic like the first one. The original crew all get dumb cameos (what a shame). The effects are good, the ghosts are decent, Liam Hemsworth is fun as the dumb secretary, but the one that rocks this show is Kate McKinnon, aka Holtzmann. She steals every scene she's in as the goofy but extremely smart scientist that builds all their cool equipment.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, July 8, 2016

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is fun if you can let loose

5 second plot: Mike and Dave's parents force them to bring dates to their sister's wedding. Because they ruined all the previous family get-togethers by hitting on every woman they lay their eyes on. They write out an add. Sweety pies Alice and Tatiana respond. But the guys don't know these girls aren't as innocent as they look.

5 second review: This is a fun rom-com for grown ups with lots of penis- and vagina-jokes. Not all the jokes work but a lot of them will make you laugh out loud. If you are however one of those boring people that doesn't like said type of jokes, please steer clear of this one.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 7/10

The Secret Life of Pets is too nuts

5 second plot: Two dogs get lost in the big city. Their friends start a search and rescue.

5 second review: Little kids will enjoy the movie. I had to laugh a bit a couple of times but I was expecting it to be more out loud. Instead of telling a simple adventure story about normal pets (and their extraordinary secret lives), the focus suddenly switches to crazy pets that live in the city's underworld. The plot spirals totally out of control. It goes completely nuts and turns into a big mess.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 5/10

Friday, July 1, 2016

Swiss Army Man is just too weird

5 second plot: A young man is stuck on a deserted island in the Pacific. As he prepares to kill himself a dead body washes ashore. He rides this dead body like a jet-ski (powered by farts) to the mainland. He then finds out that his new friend has got lots of cool super powers.

5 second review: This is definitely something you don't see every day. It's a little bit too weird, dreamy and experimental for my taste but if you're looking for something different, fresh and bonkers: you might really enjoy this one.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 5/10

The Purge: Election Year is not okay

5 second plot: This year Frank Grillo has to keep a senator safe that wants to abolish the purge if she gets elected. But the current people in charge want to use this year's purge to get rid of their opponents. Needless to say, the good senator is on the top of their kill list.

5 second review: Back in the day, this would have been a straight-to-video movie. In other words: the quality is not okay. The story is boring: everything that happens in the movie is pure and simple plot hole filling. But I must say the people that made it have a good sick sense of imagination. This results in some very memorable scenes.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 4/10