Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 6: Blood of My Blood

5 second plot: Bran gets himself a cool new bodyguard. Sam's (filthy rich) dad wants nothing to do with him. Margaery prepares for her walk of atonement. Arya chooses her next step wisely. Daenerys gives her Independance Day speech.

5 second review: I've been wondering all week: is Hodor going to return as a big ass cool zombie? Wouldn't that be really awesome? He doesn't in this episode though... Maybe that's the reason why I was so disappointed. Nothing really happens. There is one gigantic dragon, but you have to make it to the very end of the episode.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 6/10

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Equals is not about the sci-fi

5 second plot: Silas lives in an emotionless society. All emotions are regarded as a defect, a disease. But more and more people are getting 'sick'. Silas too. To make things even more difficult: he falls in love with Nia.

5 second review: This movie is all about human relations. It is set in a futuristic world, but we get to see very little of it (too little). Because the story isn't about that. So to enjoy this movie you have to be more into romantic dramas than into science fiction.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 7/10

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Outcast Season 1 Episode 1: A Darkness Surrounds Him

5 second plot: A troubled young man goes back to his home town to face his inner demons. What he finds is a demon that has attached itself to a little kid. He teams up with a local priest to get the thing out. And learn a little bit about himself and his connection with demons.

5 second review: Created by the same creator as the creator of The Walking Dead (OMG that's a lot of creates). The style is similar. Maybe not the same widespread all out mayhem. It's bloody and scary on a smaller scale. I really dug this first episode. I'm going to hang around a little and see what they have in store for us next.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 9/10

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is funny shit

5 second plot: This is the story of the rise and fall of pop star legend Connor 4 Real. He and his friends start a band. When they get famous the band falls apart and Connor goes solo. But he doesn't handle his fame well and takes things too far. And then it all comes crashing down.

5 second review: This is a light, ridiculous, fun comedy with great pop and rock star cameos. If you're not into stupid politically incorrect jokes, it might be better to steer away from this one.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, May 23, 2016

X-Men: Apocalypse is not super

5 second plot: A god-like mutant wakes up after thousands of years and decides to clean house. Meaning: destroy the world and start anew.

5 second review: The X-Men movies always have this urge to bring us a lot of origin story. I like all the 'new' characters but their origin doesn't always have to be explained so elaborately. The battles are gigantically awesome but they look like a big CGI monster. And everyone switches sides quicker than they switch underwear. It's still a cool superhero movie, but not supercool.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 6/10

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Preacher Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: A small town preacher with a drinking problem and a dark past loses his faith and decides to quit. But then some new and old friends come to town and with a little bit of divine intervention he's ready to give it another go.

5 second review: This pilot starts with a bang, then falls asleep for 10 minutes, then we get another bang, then 10 minutes of boredom, then... you get the idea. The bangs are a series of awesome and totally unexpected events (like someone blowing up for no apparent reason). So my interest is definitely piqued but I'm can't yet give it my full blessing.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 5: The Door

5 second plot: Sansa and Jon try to find allies to take back the North. Sansa tells Littlefinger to sod off though. Arya gets another chance. Bran pisses off the leader of the white walkers. The Greyjoys select a new leader. Tyrion and Varys try to keep things together. We find out why Hodor is called Hodor.

5 second review: Wow. This feels like an episode of The Walking Dead. But GoT has got fast zombies. Man, do these zombies run. It's a really cool episode. Everything is coming together nicely. The Hodor part is brilliant.

IMDb score: 9,8/10
Our score: 10/10

Friday, May 20, 2016

The Nice Guys is a whole lot of fun

5 second plot: It's 1977. Los Angeles. Two guys (one P.I. and one sort of P.I.) team up to find a girl that is somehow connected to a dead porn star who might not be dead. It's complicated.

5 second review: I only know one screenwriter by name. And that is Shane Black, also the director of this movie. He is the legend that wrote Lethal Weapon. This new one might not be that brilliant, but it's still one awesome piece of writing. The way he connects the dots throughout the story is something you don't get to see very often. It's a whole lot of fun.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising is no good

5 second plot: Mac and Kelly sold their house. But the buyers still have 30 days to reconsider and cancel the deal. That can't happen because M&K already bought another house. When a new party-all-night sorority moves in next door, it seems that they are screwed.

5 second review: The first one was fresh and fun, this one is stale and boring. It feels all wrong. I was even getting offended by the overkill of minority jokes. I don't want to be the party pooper, but it's just sad and it looks like the actors felt that way too.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 3/10

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

5 second plot: Sansa reaches Jon. They make plans to take back Winterfell from crazy Ramsay. Littlefinger will be at their side. Tyrion tries to secure a future for Meereen. Cersei teams up with the queen's grandmom to kick some High Sparrow butt. Theon makes it home. Daenerys shows the Dothraki that she's fireproof.

5 second review: This is one of those HOLY SHIT episodes. It's like the episodes where we got to see the dragons for the first time. Not just awesome. Mega awesome.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 10/10

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3: Oathbreaker

5 second plot: Jon came back from the dead as a cry baby. Sam and his girl are on their way home. Bran flashes back to a time before he was born. Daenerys meets her fellow widows. Varys finds out who's behind all the city's problems. Cersei patiently sends out little birds. Arya gets to the next level of her training. Rickon Stark is offered as a gift to house Bolton.

5 second review: This episode is not the action fest we're used to but I guess it's needed from time to time to take a little breather. We still get a lot of interesting developments. I think Jon is going to stay dead in the books. It doesn't feel right. I'm hoping he's got some mad new superskills, but it's doubtful.

IMDb score: 8,9/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, May 6, 2016

The Offering is no good

5 second plot: God appears to be angry at us for developing binary code. It's the story of the tower of Babylon all over again. Because binary code is also a universal language you see. When people start killing themselves in very peculiar ways Jamie starts to investigate.

5 second review: The only reason I wanted to see this movie is because of the cool poster. And after having seen the movie, I can report back to you that the poster is the only good thing about it.

IMDb score: 4,1/10
Our score: 1/10

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 2: Home

5 second plot: Bran gets to go home a little bit. Jon's wild buddies come to the rescue. Tyrion releases the dragons. Arya starts her training (again?). Sansa is on her way to Castle Black. Ramsay makes a bold move. Melisandre tries to resurrect Jon.

5 second review: Big spoiler alert. This episode is brutal. It's brutal fun a couple of times (guys getting squashed like bugs) but it's also stretching the limits of TV brutality (a baby gets eaten by dogs). The dragons are awesome as always. I'm happy JS is back but it does feel a little bit like a cheap move.

IMDb score: 9,8/10
Our score: 9/10