Friday, May 30, 2014

A Million Ways to Die in the West is great

5 second plot: Albert is a farmer in Arizona in 1882. He hates living in the West. Mainly because it's too dangerous. The only thing that kept him going was his beautiful girlfriend, but she broke up with him. Albert is ready to meet someone new, but without knowing it he picks the wife of a dangerous outlaw.

5 second review: If I was the director, producer, writer and star of my own film, I would also choose Charlize Theron as my love interest. Good one, Seth. Besides that the movie's got fart jokes, pot jokes, Wild West jokes, smart-ass jokes, slapstick and great (Scott!) cameo's. In other words: loads of fun.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score 8/10

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Maleficent will make some people raging mad

5 second plot: Maleficent's wings are stolen by a soon to be mad king. She curses his newborn baby. On her 16th birthday she will fall into an eternal sleep if she pricks her hand on a spinning wheel. But then Maleficent becomes really fond of the princess. But it's an irreversible curse. Only a true love kiss can save her. And there isn't one available.

5 second review: The fairy tale creatures look cartoonish. Not in a good way. King Stefan looks and talks like a character from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. But there are also some good elements in this film (like the magic and the story of true love) and it is a nice swing on the original story. It's best that you watch this movie only if you're in a happy mindset, because otherwise Angelina Jolie looking at you (a lot!) like she means business could get on your nerves.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, May 23, 2014

Blended is a very Happy Madison

5 second plot: Jim and Lauren go on a blind date. They quickly realize they can't stand each other. A little while later they accidentally get stuck with each other (and kids: two boys and three girls) on a vacation where they specialize in 'blending' new families together.

5 second review: I don't know what's with these Adam Sandler movies, but I seem to have a soft spot for them. A lot of critics think they are stupid, but I just love them. They make me laugh and always have a happy ending (I definitely have a soft spot for that). It's too much and you can see everything coming a mile away, but who cares. It's fun.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 8/10

Cold in July is a terrible title

5 second plot: Richard is an ordinary guy, living with his wife and kid in East Texas in 1989. He accidentally (kinda) shoots and kills a burglar. The father of this burglar is a tough criminal. And he isn't happy that Richard killed his son.

5 second review: There are some great memorable moments in this movie (the guy in the kid's room) but the best thing about it is that you think you know what the movie is about, but believe me when I say that you don't. The story is good, the action is solid, the performances are great and the late '80s are awesome.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 92: Ellen Page

5 second plot: Conan starts the show with a very important video game review of Watch Dogs in a section called Clueless Gamer. Then a little bit of backyard fun with Andy. Ellen Page is next to pitch her new X-Men movie and talk about her pubic hair dreams. Next up is actor and comedian Bob Saget who wrote his memoirs. And finally musical guest Jennifer Nettles.

5 second review: Oh man, I almost choked with laughter. Conan dives in a couple of times, not knowing where he'll end up and of course, it goes horribly wrong. Fantastic comedy.

IMDb score: not available on posting date
Our score: 9/10

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 91: Norm Macdonald and Mackenzie Davis

5 second plot: First up: Conan brings us the results of his latest Celebrity Survey. Then actor and comedian Norm Macdonald is on. He wants to become a talk-show host. Next up is Mackenzie Davis who stars in the new show Halt and Catch Fire. And finally musical guest Veruca Salt. They almost tear the roof off.

5 second review: Norm Macdonald is completely nuts. If you dig him, you will cry with laughter. Personally, I think he's a comedy genius. Conan gets away with saying 'you're a gorgeous woman' again. Multiple times again. To a gorgeous woman! And she replies that she loves him! How can he not be every man's hero?

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 9/10

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Conan Season 4 Episode 90: Steven Ho

5 second plot: Conan first performs crazy stunts with Steven Ho and finds out that fake blood does not come off easily. Molly Shannon is next to talk about her movie Trust Me, but instead talks about head orgasms for the entire duration of the interview. And stand-up comedy with Mike Leigh.

5 second review: I just love the guys screwing up and then laughing about it. It's classic comedy stuff. Mike Leigh is pretty funny, but he needs a little more time to be able to knock it out of the park.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Game Of Thrones Season 4 Episode 7: Mockingbird

5 second plot: Tyrion is looking for a champion for his trial by combat. His adversary is a really big fella. The Hound helps the Stark girl cross another one off her list. No-one believes Jon Snow when he says giants are going to crush the gates of the wall. Lady Brienne gets a good lead. And Petyr explains to Sansa why he really rescued her.

5 second review: If you love surprises, you will love Game Of Thrones. And we are being prepared for some great stuff ahead. Jon didn't drop the word 'giant' by accident, I'm guessing.

IMDb score: 9,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 24: The Status Quo Combustion

5 second plot: Sheldon's world falls apart. He's not allowed to change his field of expertise, Leonard and him will probably not live together anymore now that Leonard and Penny are getting married and to top it all off, the comic book store burns down. Howard and Bernadette have a problem keeping a caretaker for Howie's mom.

5 second review: I think we're going to see some change next season and the last episodes have been filled with interesting idea's to start from. This season has been a fun blast.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 6: The Laws of Gods and Men

5 second plot: Stannis is looking for new allies. Theon's sister tries to rescue him, but he is so far gone, that it fails. Miss Targaryen sits proudly on a throne but gets an awful lot of difficult questions from her loyal subjects. And Tyrion's trial begins. He quickly realizes it's not going to be a fair trial. His brother tries to save the day and makes a deal with his father.

5 second review: There are some great set-pieces and stunning visuals in this episode. Like the opening shot and a scene with a hungry dragon. A lot of interesting sub-stories didn't get a follow up this time. Maybe there are just too many of them?

IMDb score: 9,8/10
Our score: 8/10

Saturday, May 10, 2014

X-Men: Days of Future Past really is pretty good

5 second plot: The future X-Men send the consciousness of Wolverine back to his body in the 1970's. His mission is to persuade Charles and Erik (not the best of friends) to help him find Mystique before she does something that will result in the destruction of man- and mutantkind.

5 second review: I had already decided before seeing the movie that it was going to be too difficult for anyone to understand and that it was going to be filled with mistakes (against logic and time). But I couldn't have been more wrong. It's a really good movie. Not difficult at all and packed with action, great jokes and all the cool characters you could ever dream of.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, May 9, 2014

The Double is not my cup of tea

5 second plot: A sweet but very shy guy one day meets his identical self at work. They look exactly the same, but no-one else notices. The big difference is in the way they act. The new guy is the complete opposite of the old one: not shy at all, good with the ladies and working his way up in the company without any knowledge whatsoever.

5 second review: You will either love or hate this movie. It's not... well... normal. It kinda looks and feels like a Metropolis (you know, the movie from 1927) remake. It's one big exercise in 'style'. It’s a movie that a director makes for himself, not for his audience. I personally didn't think very much of it, so I'm not going to go with 'love'. 

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 2/10

Mom's Night Out is ridiculous

5 second plot: Allyson is a wife and mother of three. And she's losing it. It's mainly the kids that are causing her melt-down. So she decides to take a night off with some friends. But the night does not go as smoothly as planned.

5 second review: Let met get this straight: moms (well women in general I'm guessing) should focus on cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids and not think too much about the important stuff. That's for the man. And if they do decide to take a break: they will burn in hell. Not cool. This was not the only thing that annoyed me. Everything else did too actually.

IMDb score: 5,4/10
Our score: 0/10

Bad Neighbours is great fun

5 second plot: Mac and Kelly, a couple with a baby, freak out when a fraternity moves into the house next door. The couple and the fraternity's president clash and things spiral out of control.

5 second review: It's all the best young parents jokes combined with all the best fraternity jokes in the mix with lots of new stuff you have never seen before (like a couple of very original airbag pranks). And this all in a very let's-not-take-ourselves-too-serious atmosphere. Nice.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 22: Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead

5 second plot: Larry finds out Jeff is Alan. He gets angry. He forgives Alan, but calls off the wedding with Lindsey. Alan asks Gretchen to marry him. They move it along quickly because the wedding takes place in this episode. Only, they don't get to the part where they say 'I do'.

5 second review: Lindsey flipping out is not very funny. The episode is a bit too much of everything. And boring. But at least we get an update on why the show is called Two and a Half Men. Does this mean Jake is out for good? The real one, that is.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 5/10

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 23: The Gorilla Dissolution

5 second plot: Howard's mom gets hurt so now he and Bernadette have to take care of her. Not an easy task. Raj bumps into Emily while she is on a date with another guy. Leonard visits Penny's film set. She gets fired for trying to make the best of it. Afterwards she asks Leonard to marry her. And they finally go for it!

5 second review: The Howard and his mom-relationship has always been my personal favorite. So, this episode was a blast for me. It's hilarious.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 9/10

Godzilla is the perfect monster movie

5 second plot: Joe Brody is a supervisor in a nuclear plant in Japan. He loses his wife because of an accident in that plant. 15 years later he is still looking for answers. His now adult son thinks he's nuts but then something Big awakens in the plant. And it's calling something Huge halfway accross the world. Luckily for us, Godzilla also hears this call and fires up to kick some Big and Huge ass.

5 second review: This is a great monster movie. The story is good (enough), the cast is great, the monsters are spectacular and the eerie atmosphere is perfect (just like Gareth Edwards' first picture Monsters). Common sense is sometimes thrown overboard for the greater good (action). And I don't mean the monsters: they make sense. Of course.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 5: First of His Name

5 second plot: A new king sits on the Iron Throne. It looks like a nice bloke. The slave cities that Barbie freed, are already sliding back to their old habits. She will not have it. Sansa is with her aunt. Who is a nutcase. John and his buddies pick a fight with the deserters. Without knowing it, his attack frees his brother. Who is back on the move to where ever he is going.

5 second review: No blue eyed alien zombies this time. But Hodor shows his strenght. And then John Snow tops that cool move without missing a beat. The show finally feels like it's going somewhere. Everyone's getting closer to where they want to be.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

5 second plot: Barry, Walden and Jenny fly to Colorado to look for Walden's first car. The fact that pot is legal there, has got nothing to do with it. Gretchen wants Alan to come clean about who he really is to her brother. But Lindsey doesn't like the idea.

5 second review: An episode where they talk about zombie-werewolves must be really fun right? Yes, it is. The gang is out of the house and into the big world. And that other environment sparks it up. And I just love Barry.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8,5/10

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 22: The Proton Transmogrification

5 second plot: The boys and girls prepare for Star Wars day. Professor Proton, one of Sheldon's heroes, passes away. He appears in Sheldon's dreams as Obi Wan, apparently to give him advice.

5 second review: It's really funny to see the guys - Star Wars experts - interact with people who don't know anything about it. Especially Prof. Proton appearing in Sheldon's dreams... He hasn't got a clue what in the world he is doing there, all dressed up and glowing.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 8,5/10