Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 14: The Convention Conundrum

5 second plot: The guys are trying to get tickets for Comic-Con, but they seem to be out of luck. Until Sheldon meets Darth Vader. The girls are trying to act like grown ups, but that's not really working out.

5 second review: James Earl Jones and Carrie Fisher are acting a bit over the top, but everyone seems to be having a lot of fun.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 13: Bite Me, Supreme Court

5 second plot: Marty (the old geezer) asks Evelyn to marry him. But then changes his mind after he gets a lap dance at his bachelor party. But luckily changes his mind again. And somewhere along the line, Alan and Walden decide to get married as well.

5 second review: These old guys are absolutely not funny. I think they let them write their own jokes. And they suck.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 13: The Seven Wonders

5 second plot: You are not going to believe this, but she has got her eyes back. Again! Oh, and Stevie Nicks sings a song. Again. And a couple of witches die. Again. And one of them comes back. You know the drill. And a new supreme rises.

5 second review: Honestly, I couldn't wait for this to be over. What a drag.

IMDb3 score: 8,7/10
Our score: 4/10

Monday, January 27, 2014

That Awkward Moment is really cool

5 second plot: Three buddies make a pact: they will stay single forever. Of course, the second the pact is made, they run into the girls of their dreams.

5 second review: This is actually a really cool, relaxed and funny buddy movie. It ends very romantically, and if you're watching it with your buddies, it will be awkwardly romantic, but stuff like horizontal peeing if you take Viagra and need to pee... well, I had never seen that. So it's also original. Oh, and it's also honest. 'I thought you were a hooker.' Yep, that's a good one.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 9/10

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 16: How Your Mother Met Me

5 second plot: This episode is a string of flash-backs of every time Ted and the mom met each other (or caught a glimpse of each other, or almost met each other) over the years.

5 second review: This is an episode for the experienced How I Met Your Mother-viewer. They often do these flashbacks, but this one is different: it feels fresh and it's really cute and fun to watch. It reminded why I love this show so much. Because we have to admit that it hasn't been much fun lately. Hopefully now we're back in business.

IMDb score: 9,6/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Lizzie Borden Took an Ax is awkwardly bad

5 second plot: It is a true story that took place in the 1890's. The parents of the girl in the title were brutally murdered with an ax. The only one that could have done it, is Lizzie, so she is put to trial. But there is a great lack of evidence.

5 second review: After 30 minutes I stopped counting the times I thought to myself: WTF? It's just horrible, this movie. Everything about it. There are a bunch of familiar face in it though. I don't know who told them what to get them in this crappy movie, but it worked.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10

Friday, January 24, 2014

I, Frankenstein requires a lot of imagination

5 second plot: In our present time, Frankenstein's monster is still alive. Apparently. He gets caught up in a fight between good and bad, between gargoyles and demons. The demons want to resurrect thousands of Frankenstein copies and have them possessed so they can take over the world.

5 second review: You need a whole lot of imagination and a temporary loss of all sense of reality to get through this movie. But if you succeed in that, you will be amused. There is a lot of fighting going on, a lot of exploding demons, and the effects aren't all that bad. In other words: not the big disaster I expected.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 12: Go To Hell

5 second plot: Cornelia has some special powers now that she is blind again. This episode is all about the next Supreme. Every witch seems to think she's the one. So Fiona plans to kill them all. But someone outsmarts her. The swamp girl is back again. It seems they can't stop bringing the dead back in the show. It's like watching Days of Our Lives.

5 second review: Wow, that's a nasty sight those crazy eyes. A little bit over the top, no? All logic is thrown out the window again. But there are some cool killings and blood splatters all over the place. That gets extra points.

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Monday, January 20, 2014

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 15: Unpause

5 second plot: Barney is 'truth serum drunk'. So Ted and Robin ask him a whole bunch of interesting questions. Marshall would like to keep the 'pause' in the big fight going as long as possible. But in the end, all hell breaks loose.

5 second review: The Barney truth part is pretty funny, but it's a round up of previous events again. Nothing new. The fight between Marshall and Lily is not fun at all. Too much drama, if you ask me.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, January 17, 2014

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is a pain in the

5 second plot: Jack is an Afghan war hero recruited by the CIA to keep a top secret eye on large money transfers (used to fund terrorist cells). He figures out that Russia is planning an economic attack on the US and he is sent in to figure out the details.

5 second review: The action is good. No complaints there. But the romance is a big drag. The spy stuff is old cheese. And the clues.... my god, how I hate it when clues fly around my ears like that. Come on, where's your sense of inventiveness?

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 4/10

Freezer is a little bit surprising

5 second plot: A guy is put in a big freezer by the Russian mob because they think he stole a lot of money from them. They want to know where it is. But he seems to have been mistaken for someone else.

5 second review: It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Our main character is a real smart ass, and after a while it starts getting a bit funny. And he's got some surprising moves up his sleeve.

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 6/10

Ride Along is a lot of fun

5 second plot: Ben wants to marry Angela. But first he wants to get her brother's blessing. This guy is a tough cop and he thinks very little of Ben. He takes Ben on a ride along to basically show him he's worthless. It starts off as fun and games but gets really serious when they get on the trail of a big criminal.

5 second review: This is pure and fun entertainment. The action is sometimes too serious for the relaxed way they handle it, but I really like their (not so very) buddy-cop chemistry. Kevin Hart is hilarious. It may not be in the same league but the movie made me think of Lethal Weapon a couple of times. And that's saying something.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 11: Protect the Coven

5 second plot: Everyone that dies, doesn't really ever seem to die. Now the big one is back. And she brings the headless one. Cordelia sobs like an infant and later on pokes out her eyes. The witches frame the witch hunters. And the immortal house keeper has had it with the immortal witch.

5 second review: There is not much going on, but it's not that it's boring. There is a lot of blood flying around in this episode. So that earns extra points. And, erm,... well that's about all there is to say.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, January 13, 2014

How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 14: Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra

5 second plot: Marshall gives Barney the slap of a thousand exploding suns. And Boys II Men sing a song.

5 second review: This is a really crazy episode. When did this show stop going in a certain direction? I'm not sure if I like it or not... It's definitely really funny. But it has got nothing to do with the story. Are they running out of ideas or was this a brilliant side-track?

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 7/10

Intelligence Season 1 Episode 2: Red X

5 second plot: Terrorists stole a new type of explosive that can not be detected by any scanner. And now they are in the US and they are planning to strike hard. Gabriel's wife seems to be one of the terrorists.

5 second review: I'm a bit sick of the hunt for 'the terrorist'. We've seen this a gazillion times already. It's a decent show, with a good cast and some nice edges, but it's simply not interesting enough.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 6/10

Sunday, January 12, 2014

True Detective Season 1 is one hell of a story

5 second plot: In 1995 Louisiana two detectives are put on a case of a woman's murder. It looks like a ritual serial killer at work. With little or no clues it seems to be almost impossible to crack the case. But these guys truly are good at what they do. And very persistent.

5 second review: This show is definitely a must see. Something unique like this doesn't come around very often. It's like a long awesome slow burning dark detective movie. But not like anything you've seen before. There's brilliant writing at play here and off the charts amazing acting.

IMDb score: 9,3/10
Our score: 10/10

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Bitten Season 1 Episode 1: Summons

5 second plot: A pack of were-wolfs (I guess) have to come back home because there is a 'mutt' that wants to pick a fight with them. Not all members of the pack are very keen on going home. But a wolf's gotta do what a wolf's gotta do.

5 second review: WTF was that girl doing in the middle of the forest? Getting herself killed, that's for sure. There's some really bad CGI in this episode, that's also for sure. It pretty much stinks big time, but there is one upside: the main character Elena is quite the looker.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 3/10

Friday, January 10, 2014

Enlisted Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: Pete kicks a superior's ass in Afghanistan and is sent to Florida where he has to lead what has to be the worst group of soldiers in the army. Two of the misfits in this group are his brothers.

5 second review: This is not as funny as you would expect it to be. The army jokes have been used too often all ready. The brother jokes as well. The stupid jokes also. So, apart from some giggles here and there, this first episode isn't funny at all.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score: 3/10

Free Ride blows

5 second plot: Christina is a young woman with two daughters who moves to Florida to escape her lowlife existence. To make a decent living she starts working for a drug dealer who ships huge amounts of soft drugs.

5 second review: I dozed off a couple of times. And I don't know if I like the final life lesson we get pushed down our throat by the real life Christina. The acting is very decent. But the story is too light to have any entertainment value. So the only thing that gives it reason to exist, is the stupid life lesson at the end.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 2/10

Helix Season 1 Episode 1-2

5 second plot: In a (very) remote research facility something goes terribly wrong with a virus-test. Some people get infected and some of them even die. The CDC is called to try to contain and hopefully resolve the problem. But they have a difficult job trying to figure out what is going on.

5 second review: It doesn't make much sense to ask for help if you are going to work against the people you asked to help you. The creators weren't very much inspired to try out something new. Maybe that will come later on, but I'm not sticking around. For now. Probably.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 5/10

The Legend of Hercules had potential

5 second plot: Hercules is the son of a queen and a god. (The king is not too happy with that.) His older brother is going to marry the love of his life. Hercules himself is sent on a suicide mission. But he survives and returns to save his love and to have his revenge.

5 second review: At first, I couldn't make out whether it was a spoof or a serious movie. That's never a good sign. Sometimes the costumes and the CGI are laugh out loud funny. And that's a shame, really, because it's got epic potential. Not everything is cheap. And some fights are really good. (Some are a disaster.) I just read on Box Office Mojo that this movie had a 70 million $ budget. No. Way.

IMDb score: 4,2/10
Our score: 2/10

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 13: The Occupation Recalibration

5 second plot: Penny quits her job as a waitress to focus on her career as an actress. Leonard is not sure that's a good idea but tries to support her. Sheldon is forced to take up his vacation days. He's not very happy with that.

5 second review: Well, it's a good thing Penny and Leonard aren't fighting very much anymore. And they didn't break up after all. This is an episode that's back to 'normal mode'. Just shits and giggles. That's the way I like it.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

5 second plot: Walden is drawn to the girl that fired him in the previous episode. And she seems to be having the hots for him too. But work has to come first. Meanwhile Alan gets himself a date through Lindsey's new man. He ends up at a swingers party.

5 second review: This is a hilarious episode. Alan pretending to be Ted, and the guy calling his name with the free popcorn? Beautiful. The dialogue is just spot on perfect. Comedy classic, this one. But I keep wondering: where is the half-ling from the show's title?

IMDb score: not yet known on posting date
Our score: 9,5/10

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 10: The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks

5 second plot: The two arch enemy witches join forces to take on the witch hunters. Fiona tries to secure eternal life. And everyone is either trying to kill someone, trying to be the Supreme or wining about one thing or another. Oh, and the real Stevie Nicks comes to visit. Apparently she's a witch.

5 second review: What the crap is this? This episode sucks big time. There's nothing going on but crazy illogical shit. God damned. I think that they are out of ideas again. The same shit happened last season around the 10th episode.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 3/10

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Killer Women Season 1 Episode 1: La Sicaria

5 second plot: Molly is a beautiful Texas Ranger. Yes, that's right: beautiful, woman, Texas Ranger. In this first episode she investigates the killing of an Assistant District Attorney.

5 second review: Nowp, I'm not buying it. Sorry, 'bout that. It all looks and feels a bit silly, really.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 1/10

Intelligence Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: The US Cyber Command agency created an upgraded human by putting a super-chip in a Delta Force soldier's head. With this chip he can access all sorts of information. His brain then combines this information with images from his memory and imagination. In this pilot episode there is another government that tries to get its hands on the technology.

5 second review: It seems to be a very interesting new show. Although it's very much possible this is just a same old international cop / government agency show with the only difference that they made it very easy to resolve the craziest far fetched clues.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, January 3, 2014

Jamesy Boy is a big surprise

5 second plot: James is a young guy that gets into trouble all the time. He's been institutionalized since he was 6. He's simply an angry kid. In his teens he gets convicted and put in jail. At first he needs to be the big man on campus, but after a while he realizes he needs to straighten up if he wants to make something of his life.

5 second review: I totally didn't expect it, but I kinda loved this film. The character is worked out really well and played with an enormous eye for detail. Scenes from the past and present move along simultaneously: that creates a perfect pace. Good job.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10