Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 6 Episode 15: East

5 second plot: Carol leaves Alexandria. Daryl drives out in a hurry. Their friends go after them. And they all run into the saviors. And not everyone comes out of the fight on top this time.

5 second review: How many saviors are there? The Alexandrians already killed a lot of them. Jesus (no offense), stop killing humans and focus on them zombies instead. If my calculations are correct, the next episode is the season finale. I guess we'll see Negan then. That's gonna be a big one. I think a cliffhanger season ending is practically guaranteed.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, March 25, 2016

Get a Job is a lot of bitching

5 second plot: This is the story of a group of youngsters that have to go look for a job for the first time in their lives. And it doesn't go as easy as they had planned.

5 second review: The cast is good. But that's about it. The basic idea of the movie is to have young people complain about how they were treated too well when they were growing up. It should be funny but I can't remember laughing. I think I was focusing to hard not to get angry about the constant bitching and whining. And now I've been whining for my entire 5 seconds goddamned.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 3/10

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is very serious

5 second plot: Batman has had it with Superman. So he decides to kick him off his pedestal.

5 second review: This movie hits you like a tornado. A messy one. It is a very big special effects extravaganza. The wizardry is good though. It's a very serious movie, there's no joking around. And that's the main reason I didn't enjoy it very much. When you've got a couple of superheroes in spandex flying through the air, beating the crap out of each other with parts of buildings, you have to keep it light.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 5/10

The Walking Dead Season 6 Episode 14: Twice As Far

5 second plot: Things are settling down in Alexandria. Everyone is doing his/her daily routine. Eugene takes Abraham to a munitions factory. He wants to start producing ammo. Daryl and Rosita take the good doctor on a supply run to a pharmacy. Spoiler alert starting......... now. On their way back they run into a heavily armed group of men.

5 second review: There's just no getting around the fact that they are living in a shitty fucked up world. The zombies are not the main issue. Other humans are. You can just feel that it's coming: someone's going to die. And she goes out spectacularly: still talking with an arrow through her eyeball. Now that's a cool kill. Also this episode: some very cool zombies. Let's not forget to mention those nasty fuckers.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, March 18, 2016

Midnight Special is extraordinary

5 second plot: A father and his young boy are on the run. Well, not really on the run. Rather headed somewhere while being chased by several bogeys. The kid is special. But they are just beginning to realize how very special he really is.

5 second review: This is something very special (sorry about the gazillion specials, but it is) indeed. I wasn't sure it was going to be able to deliver in the end. But it does. Everything lines up perfectly. It looks easy, but I'm sure it wasn't. There's a very talented filmmaker at work here. Of course, you have to be a little bit into mystery and sci-fi to appreciate this fully.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Monday, March 14, 2016

Allegiant is a bit silly

5 second plot: The city is locked down by the new leading lady. Things spiral out of control. Tris and company escape. They finally find out what's beyond the wall. And it doesn't seem to be peaches and cream.

5 second review: I wasn't a big fan of the previous movies but I'm certainly not a fan of this conclusion. It's all a bit silly really. The story takes crazy turns. These are convenient short cuts to fill up huge plot holes. The movie doesn't know what it wants to be. It's a mix of too many things and it's confusing. The effects are not good (and there's too many of them). At one point there's an orange blob that wraps itself around our heroes. It looks hilariously stupid. 

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 2/10

Sunday, March 13, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 6 Episode 13: The Same Boat

5 second plot: This episode is all about Carol and Maggie. After the attack on the saviors' compound, they were taken prisoner. And now their lives are hanging by a thread.

5 second review: From time to time the story comes to an almost complete stop and focuses on one small event. This is one of those times. Instead of all out action, we get smaller scale fights. We also get a lot of drama (Carol seems to be losing her shit).

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, March 11, 2016

Eye in the Sky is a mighty tense thriller

5 second plot: A joint American-British mission to capture Kenyan extremists turns into an drone strike assassination mission with a little girl in the blast zone.

5 second plot: If you would like to know more about modern warfare, you should really see this movie. But you will not like what you are seeing. You can say what you want about this story and the fact that the main goal is to make a statement about modern warfare, but Gavin Hood delivered a mighty tense thriller. And hats off for Helen Mirren for taking on a role like this.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 8/10

The Brothers Grimsby take it to the next level

5 second plot: Nobby has been searching for his brother Sebastian for some 20 years. But now he's found him. Sebastian is a high profile secret agent for MI6. When he is falsely accused of a crime he didn't commit, he and his brother go hide in their old town of Grimsby.

5 second review: I guess some people will be offended by the childish wildly over the top humor, but I laughed my ass off. These fuckers take humor to the next level. Remember when Jim Carrey crawled out of the back-side of a rhino in Ace Ventura? Well, let me tell you: you ain't seen nothing yet.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Big Bang Theory Season 9 Episode 18: The Application Deterioration

5 second plot: Sheldon, Howard and Leonard form a partnership to start working out their idea (didn't really understand what it was). Emily wants Raj back. So she tries to lure him over.

5 second review: This is funny stuff. Sheldon's all happy happy joy joy that he gets to make a contract. And Raj walks into a trap with both eyes open.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

10 Cloverfield Lane is quite the mind-fuck

5 second plot: Michelle wakes up in a bunker after she's been in a serious car crash. There are two other people there. They tell her the world has gone to shit and that she can't leave the bunker. The outside air is probably toxic. Michelle is not sure if she can trust these guys.

5 second review: There are three people in this movie and they are stuck in a bunker. I figured it would probably be boring. But it isn't. Parts of the movie go a bit too slow, sure, but I was very curious the entire time where it was all heading. And the conclusion is worth the wait.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, March 6, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 6 Episode 12: Not Tomorrow Yet

5 second plot: Rick wants to take on The Saviors head first as soon as possible. There's a town meeting, a plan, a couple of drawings and off they go.

5 second review: This is again one of those extremely tense episodes. Lots of definite spoilers and possible spoilers from here on! The operation went extremely smooth. No-one of our team got killed. I don't know about you, but that makes me very worried. In my opinion that means that shit still has to hit the fan. I'm guessing this structure that they attacked is just an outpost of The Saviors, not the main building. And that means that there are a whole lot more of these pricks. And Negan is going to be very pissed off that Rick killed his men.

IMDb score: 9,5/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, March 4, 2016

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is old news

5 second plot: In 2003 a female reporter goes to Afghanistan to cover the war. She's only supposed to stay a couple of months, but she ends up staying a couple of years. And it was a very dangerous place you know.

5 second review: This is not a comedy. But look at the title, look at the stars, look at the poster... They even fooled the frikkin' IMDb. I don't think I had to laugh one time. Wait, yes I did. She has to pee at a certain point and holds up an entire military convoy. I did have to laugh with that. The story is also about the fact that people stopped caring about Afghanistan. I know. Why make a movie about it then?

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 3/10

Zootropolis is good innocent fun

5 second plot: Judy is the first bunny cop in the city of Zootropolis. Her boss and colleagues don't have a lot of confidence in her. But when several animals mysteriously disappear Judy might be just the type of cop they need to crack the case.

5 second review: This is really for kids. But the adults that have to tag along will enjoy it as well. There are a couple of moments where it might get scary for little kids (animals going crazy with red eyes) but overall it's sweet, innocent and fun.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 7/10

Emelie is fucked up

5 second plot: When mom and dad go out on a lovely date, the kids get a babysitter from hell.

5 second review: If you have kids: don't go near this movie. Especially when you sometimes have a babysitter come over. The movie's not bad. The actors do a great job. But the story is too fucked up and sad for my personal taste. I'm not too fond of seeing little kids being tormented.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 4/10

The Other Side of the Door is heavy shit

5 second plot: Maria loses her son in a terrible car accident. She can't live with the fact that he's gone. She finds out that she might be able to talk to him one last time. If she brings his ashes to an ancient temple. There's only one rule. She cannot open the door to the other side. No matter what. Guess what happens?

5 second review: This movie is definitely well made. It's dark and scary. But also very sad. Did they really have to take a kid as the center of the drama? Spoilers ahead! I always like to get some closure at the end of a 'heavy' movie like this, a little light at the end of the dark tunnel. But it ends as dark as it begins.

IMDb score: 5,3/10
Our score: 5/10

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

London Has Fallen is action PACKED

5 second plot: Gerard Butler has to save the president's ass again. This time he's in London. Terrorists have taken over the city and they want to publicly execute the president. But they have to find him first. And get past good old Gerard.

5 second review: There's action packed and then there's ACTION PACKED. Holy crappers there's a lot of fighting and exploding going on in this movie. There isn't room for anything else. Like a story. Or common sense. But I'm not complaining. I loved it.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Hot Bot has its moments

5 second plot: Two guys accidentally get their hands on a sex robot. They try to take her out for a spin but somehow they always strike out. The real owner wants her back and sends his goons after them.

5 second review: This is a very low budget comedy (with a lot of familiar faces though). You will only enjoy this if you really don't have anything else to do. It's not very good but it does have its moments, thanks to the two lead characters who don't let anyone fuck with them.

IMDb score: 3,5/10
Our score: 5/10