Sunday, December 25, 2016

Live by Night has a lot to tell

5 second plot: Joe is a small time crook in Boston in the Prohibition era who reluctantly starts working for the mob. He told himself he wouldn't take orders from anyone again if he survived the war (WW I). But here he is.

5 second review: There is a LOT going on in this movie. It feels like a 24 episode TV show crammed into a 2 hour movie. There's no time to nod off here, you have to pay attention. Blink and you'll miss something. That is a bit overwhelming, but it sure as hell isn't boring. It's a cool violent gangster movie. If you're not a big fan of Ben Affleck you're going to hate his smirky attitude though.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, December 23, 2016

Why Him? is not much fun

5 second plot: Bryan Cranston is meeting his daughter's boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he is a very rich rock star tech wizard. Totally the opposite of good old fashioned dad. So of course they collide and yada yada yada you know what happens next.

5 second review: I guess the characters are supposed to be funny. Well... they are (painfully) not. I almost gave up after 30 minutes but I hung in there and I (eventually) did laugh a couple of times (the mom's alright, and dad's computer guy is also alright) but overall: not okay man.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 3,5/10

Silence is too old school

5 second plot: Two young Christian priests travel to 17th century Japan to look for their mentor Liam Neeson. Their religion is forbidden in Japan, so it's a very dangerous mission.

5 second review: This movie feels like it's 40 years old. And it did not withstand the test of time. It's a bit silly, its got way too much symbolism and the running time is too long. I don't know how I got through it. But some people seem to like it, so maybe don't listen to me. Or is it because of the big 'directed by' name? A lot of effort was put into getting things right though. It looks like the actors almost starved themselves to death.

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Metascore: 79/100
Our score: 2/10

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The Autopsy of Jane Doe is a bloody scary mystery

5 second plot: Tommy and Austin have to examine the body of a mysterious woman that was found in the basement of a murder scene. Slowly but surely they come to realize that they are dealing with some seriously fucked up shit.

5 second review: This is a dark, creepy, fascinating mystery. And it scared the shit out of me (I must admit I scare easily). The thing I liked most about it is that they decide to get the fuck out of there on the first sign of trouble. Don't you just love that? You never see that in a horror movie. They don't argue about it or nothing.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Monday, December 19, 2016

Manchester by the Sea is sad

5 second plot: Lee has to go back to his home town when his brother passes away. This brings back awful memories.

5 second review: This is like an instruction video on what happens when someone in your family passes away. Mixed with everyday events like forgetting where you parked your car. But there's also a mysterious event from the past that drives the movie. If you were looking for a good sad drama, this is definitely one for you.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Rogue One is a good adventure

5 second plot: It's the story of the brave rebels who steal the plans for the Death Star (and set the tone for the original trilogy).

5 second review: I don't like what they did with the computer generated (human) faces. It looks like clay animation from the '80s. It's a good adventure and there are some great action scenes. The appearance of Darth Vader is the big thing that makes seeing (and repeated viewing of) this movie worthwhile.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 7/10

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Passengers is spectacular

5 second plot: Two people wake up out of a hybernation sleep on a spaceship heading to a new world. But they wake up 90 years too soon with no way of going back to sleep. There are probably worse things than waking up with Jennifer Lawrence.

5 second review: It's visually spectacular with great action sequences, a beautiful romance and some serious life questions. Something for everyone I guess. The ending feels a bit rushed but everything else is pretty great.

IMDb score: 7/10
Our score:8/10

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Assassin's Creed is wicked awesome

5 second plot: Say what now?

5 second review: I don't understand why no-one seems to like this one. The plot is nuts, but it's a great action movie filled with cool fight sequences, impressive gimmicks, lots of mystery and let's not forget: friggin' assassins.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, December 11, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 8: Hearts Still Beating

5 second plot: Plans are made to kill Negan. And he's being such a nice guy: not killing Carl, making spaghetti, taking care of the guy that wants Rick out of the way,... Daryl manages to escape (thank you Jesus). Maggie tries to find her way in the Hilltop community. Michonne finds what she was looking for and returns home.

5 second review: Oh man, this is the mid-season finale. That means we have to wait for a couple of months to see how things turn out. I love the fact that it ends on a happy note for a change.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Ash vs Evil Dead Season 2 Episode 6-10 continues to be very nasty

5 second plot: Ash gets trapped in Baal's bad ass mind tricks. Pablo converges with the book. The gang has to travel back in time to straighten things out.

5 second review: Two episodes are set in an asylum.They don't really fit in and are kind of boring. So just skip these, you won't miss a thing. The time traveling shit is - of course - crazy and a lot of fun. This second half of the second season continues to be very bloody and very nasty. I had to put away my snacks a couple of times.

IMDb score: 8,6/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, December 9, 2016

Beyond the Gates is way too boring

5 second plot: When their dad goes missing, John and Gordon decide he must be dead and start cleaning out his video store. They find a mysterious video/board game and start playing it. They don't realize it's a dangerous game that will take them... beyond... the... gaaaaaaates.

5 second review: Sweet lord this is a boring movie. It takes them forever to start playing the frikkin' game. I think it's supposed to be scary, which it is not. I also think it's designed to be a cult sensation. I don't know about that either. There are a couple of blood gushing scenes that are worthy. And the posters that accompany the movie are fantastic.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 3/10

Miss Sloane is cold

5 second plot: Miss Sloan is a very good but terribly cold hearted D.C. lobbyist who decides to switch sides to make the 'game' more interesting. She now has to take on her most powerful opponent yet. And she is not interested in losing.

5 second review: It's not easy having to choose between rooting for the smartest person in the room or hating the biggest bitch in the room when that person is one and the same. I hope that was the idea because it worked. What also works are all the smart twists and turns with one very big one to top them all.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Office Christmas Party is a small bummer

5 second plot: Clay tries to save his branch of the family company by throwing an awesome office Christmas party to impress a possible new (big) client. The party is... wait for it... legendary.

5 second review: I'm a very very very big fan of the first trailer that was released for this movie. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. The movie is good fun, but the hilarious bits are already in the trailer. The story is a bit lame. Some of the actors have trouble convincing themselves that what they are saying makes any sense.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 6/10
Our trailer score: 10/10

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

La La Land should have been all fun

5 second plot: Girl meets boy. Girl convinces boy to go for his dream. Boy convinces girl to go for her dream. Sing. Dance.

5 second review: I really don't like singing and dancing in the movies, but I had to see what the fuss was all about. The leads are perfect together, the dialogue is fun and playful, the colors are spectacular but (BIG spoiler alert) I would have preferred an all out happy picture instead of the sour grape ending. It would have been a better fit.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Monday, December 5, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 7: Sing Me a Song

5 second plot: Some of the Alexandrians are looking for supplies for Negan. Some of them are looking for ways to kill him. Carl takes out two of Negan's guys. Negan's response is not what you would expect. We also find out why some of Negan's people have got a scarred face.

5 second review: This episode is much better than the previous ones but lets not get overly carried away with the cool (long) monologues.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Westworld Season 1 Episode 4-10 is damn near perfect

5 second plot: The man in black and Dolores are looking for the center of the maze. Some of the hosts are starting to become aware of who (or what) they are. Ford is building a big new story-line. The other original creator, Arnold, seems to be reaching out from the afterlife.

5 second review: If you haven't started seeing this brilliant show yet, what are you doing wasting your time reading this? Hop to it! The hot shot actors are in top form, the mystery is out of this world awesome and the story is damn near perfect. I almost can't believe they pulled it off. This is must see TV. Pronto!

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 10/10

Friday, December 2, 2016

Pet is okay

5 second plot: Seth has a crush on a Holly. When he realizes she's out of his reach he does something drastic. But the game he's about to play might be out of his league.

5 second review: At first I thought this was a shitty movie. The dialogue is terrible and the actors look like rabbits in the middle of the road watching the headlights of a car approaching. But halfway through it gets interesting. It's one of those rare moments where it pays off to be patient with a movie. It's not world class awesome but it's okay.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 6,5

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 6: Swear

5 second plot: After two weeks of searching for food, Tara and Heath run into a whole lot of trouble and get separated. Tara ends up in a women-only hidden community. They're not too fond of strangers.

5 second review: Although the hidden community and their terrible history is a good addition to the ever expanding Walking Dead universe, it feels a bit like a drag to watch an entire episode centered around a (not so very interesting) side character. And I can already predict Rick's going to get his hands on this new community's guns to get back at Negan.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 7/10

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Allied is actually pretty good

5 second plot: Max and Marianne are secret operatives who meet in Casablanca during WWII. They have to assassinate a German official. It's love at first sight. If they make it out alive, there might be a future for them. Or will the war decide otherwise?

5 second review: After a boring first half hour with two leads who feel out of time and out of place (Brat Pitt from Paris? Please.) the action unexpectedly kicks in a high(er) gear and we're off for a great movie filled with intrigues.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Monday, November 21, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 5: Go Getters

5 second plot: Maggie is still alive. Together with Sasha she tries to convince the asshole leader of the Hilltop, Gregory, to let them stay. The Hilltop gets a visit from the Saviors, who want to remind everyone who's the boss. Carl is up to something. He's going to try to kick Negan's butt, is my guess.

5 second review: This is an interesting episode. There's a lot going on and a lot to see. Their world is getting bigger and bigger. I think Carl is going to pull an awesome stunt. And I'm guessing Negan is going to love it.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is not that interesting

5 second plot: Newt arrives in New York with a suitcase filled with magical creatures. When some of them escape he tries to get them back as quickly as possible. But there is another beast on the loose and now everyone is blaming him for the havoc it causes.

5 second review: The magic is cool and the beasts are fantastic but the story is rather slim (and not very interesting). The focus is mainly on computer graphics. The first half feels like a slow playful children's film and the second half like a rushed dark Gothic thriller.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Friday, November 18, 2016

Moonlight is mesmerizing

5 second plot: Chiron is a skinny boy growing up in a tough neighborhood. This is his coming of age story.

5 second review: This is normally not my type of movie: slow, dramatic, tough, real,... but these actors blew me away. Their performances are enchanting.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Metascore: 99/100
Our score: 8/10

Sunday, November 13, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 4: Service

5 second plot: This episode is all about Negan paying a visit to Alexandria to come and get half of their shit. And all of their guns. Carl tries to make a stand but it's no use.

5 second review: An entire episode of dancing around (Negan in Rick's face the entire time, threatening everything with a heartbeat) is a little bit too much of the same.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Friday, November 11, 2016

Come and Find Me is fairly intriguing

5 second plot: When David starts digging in the past of his missing girlfriend he finds out that she's not who she said she was.

5 second review: It's a fairly intriguing thriller up to a point but it's all a little bit far fetched and - massive spoiler warning - the entire movie is working towards an ending that doesn't come. I guess I will have to make up that happy ending myself.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 6/10

Arrival is mind-blowing

5 second plot: When 12 big alien spacecraft arrive it's up to the world's scientists and linguistic experts to figure out what the aliens want. Are they just visiting or are they here to kick us out?

5 second review: This movie is something else. It's mind-blowingly complex and mysterious but also dramatic and an emotional roller-coaster. It's certainly something you don't see every day. In the wrong hands, this would have been a disaster. Lucky for us, it is quite the opposite.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 9/10