Sunday, September 24, 2017

Star Trek: Discovery Season 1 Episode 1: The Vulcan Hello

5 second plot: On a mission to figure out what went wrong with a communication beacon the U.S.S. Shenzou has a run in with an unidentified object. Spoiler alert: it's a Klingon warship ready for action.

5 second review: The visuals are good and the Klingons are cool but everything else is pretty weak. It already starts with the opening credits. It's all a big bummer. The dialogue is so silly, even the actors don't believe what they are saying. And this first episode ends in a cliff hanger, can you believe it.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 4/10

Sunday, September 10, 2017

The Orville Season 1 Episode 1: Old Wounds

5 second plot: In the year 2419 Ed Mercer is promoted to captain of the ship The Orville. He is not too happy with his ex-wife being assigned as his First Officer. One their first mission they run into the Krill, a dangerous enemy.

5 second review: I loved the trailer of this first episode. But if you've seen the trailer, you've seen the best parts. Literally all the good jokes are already in the trailer. The rest of the episode is actually quite terrible. The crew explains everything that is going to happen in great detail. They're telling it to each other but you know that they are talking to you, the stupid viewer.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 3/10
Our score for the trailer: 9,5/10

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

It is scary fun

5 second plot: It's not easy being a kid in Derry in 1988-89. Either you get beaten up by the local bullies, have horrible nightmares/visions or get chased by an evil clown that wants to eat you alive. Enter 'The Losers'. They are tired of being scared and decide to put an end to It.

5 second review: This is like a fucked up horror version of The Goonies. The kids are perfectly cast, the horror is great (don't worry about kids being involved, no-one's holding back here), it's funny as shit and scary as hell. I will be dreaming of this fucking clown for a very long time.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 9/10