Sunday, October 30, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 2: The Well

5 second plot: Carol and Morgan find themselves in The Kingdom, where the sun always shines and everyone is always happy. The Kingdom is ruled by King Ezekiel. His best friend is big ass tiger.

5 second review: The tiger rules! That's all there is to say really.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 9/10

Friday, October 28, 2016

Inferno is more of the same

5 second plot: Robert Langdon wakes up in a hospital with a head-wound and memory loss. When someone tries to kill him, the ER doctor helps him escape and together they try to figure out what's going on.

5 second review: If you've seen one these Robert Langdon movies, you've seen them all. But if you're a fan, that's probably okay. I always like the clue-solving and the twists and turns. They are very far fetched, I know, but it's still fun. I could have done without the blurry flash-backs and visions of the future though.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Monday, October 24, 2016

Hacksaw Ridge is an amazing story

5 second plot: Desmond is a young man who wants to serve his country on the battlefield of WWII. But his beliefs prevent him from carrying a weapon. He wants to serve as a medic. He is ridiculed at first but when he starts pulling wounded men out of the battlefield after everyone is long gone, his fellow soldiers learn that they judged him completely wrong.

5 second review: The action sequences are very spectacular. You get sucked right in. But even more spectacular than that is the amazing true story. I would never have thought that (asshole) Mel Gibson would be able to bring this story to the screen as beautiful as he did. It does get a little bit overly patriotic towards the end, but everything else is pitch perfect.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Sunday, October 23, 2016

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 1: The Day Will Come When You Won't Be

5 second plot: Negan gets a proper introduction. Our favorite zombie apocalypse survivors meet his precious Lucille: a barb wired baseball bat. And she's thirsty for blood.

5 second review: Be prepared. This is an extremely brutal episode. I never thought they would dare go this far and this explicit. It's awesome. I feel sorry for the actors though. The emotional shit they have to go through must be devastating. It's a shame that Negan can't swear the way he does in the comics. They can show the goriest gore, but he can't say 'fuck'. Go figure. 

IMDb score: not yet rated on posting date
Our score: 9/10

Goldstone is a quiet one

5 second plot: When a detective comes to town looking for a missing girl, young sheriff Josh slowly begins to realize what's really going on in his quiet little mining town.

5 second review: It's a good story with great performances. It's slow and silent (not a lot of dialogue) and takes its time to get to the conclusion, but that fits perfectly in the whole lot of dusty nothing that is the town of Goldstone.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 8/10

Friday, October 21, 2016

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back is a little bit predictable

5 second plot: Reacher makes a new friend in the military. When someone tries to kill her, he takes action. Then he finds out he has a daughter. When she also becomes a target, he brings his ass whooping to the next level.

5 second review: I like the Jack Reacher character and I like what Tom Cruise does with it. This movie's a bit more action packed than the first one. You see the twists coming from a mile off but it's still good (light) entertainment.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Ouija: Origin of Evil is just a tiny bit scary

5 second plot: It's 1967. A widowed mom and her two daughters make their money by holding seances. The whole thing is a scam, but they seem to be helping people so they don't feel too guilty about it. One day, mom buys a Ouija board to help improve their act. But in doing so they invite a very evil spirit into their world.

5 second review: This is not an all out horror movie. It gets a bit scary eventually but it's still only mildly disturbing. It's a very simple story (which is good) with decent characters. The ball is dropped a couple of times (for instance: no-one seems to be shocked when a dead body is suddenly hanging from the ceiling) but overall it's pretty good. But not if you were expecting a big, bloody and scary horror movie.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Keeping Up with the Joneses is a little bit of fun

5 second plot: Jeff and Karen find out that their neighbors are secret agents. And they unwillingly get sucked into their dangerous secret mission.

5 second review: The story is not very original. Neither are the jokes. But these people are fun to look at. And I did have to laugh a couple of times. If you're just looking for some light entertainment, this will do just fine.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Doctor Strange is quite a trip

5 second plot: It's the origin story of the guy in the title. He's a brilliant surgeon who can't operate anymore after a serious car accident fucks up his hands. While searching for a cure for his shaky hands he ends up being taught in the mystical arts by The Ancient One. It doesn't take long for him to step in and help defend the multiverse.

5 second review: I'm no expert on Doctor Strange but it looks to me like Benedict Cumberbatch is definitely the right choice for the part. The special effects are very spectacular but there are a LOT of them. It's a shame we didn't get to see any of the other super heroes. It's 'just' the origin story of the Doctor, they should have made it a little bit bigger (the story, not the effects, they are big enough).

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Westworld Season 1 Episode 3: The Stray

5 second plot: The hosts (the robots) are starting to remember things, starting to hold grudges, straying, looping,... all sorts of stuff that makes the security team very nervous. But the programmers seem to be on top of things. Until one of them almost gets smashed. The weird behavior seems to be connected to Arnold, one of the original creators, who died in the park.

5 second review:  I like the way the plot slowly thickens and how mystery is taking center stage. I don't understand why the hosts are going through these elaborate story-lines when no-one is watching. It's cool though. It makes good television.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, October 14, 2016

Christine will not make you happy

5 second plot: Christine Chubbuck was a reporter who shot herself on live television in 1974. This is the story of the months leading up to that event.

5 second review: If you're looking for a good time at the movies, this is not the one you want to see. This story will not make you happy. Also, there wasn't enough material to make a full length movie out of. So the story is stretched beyond its limits. As a half hour documentary it might have worked, but not as a two hour long fictionalized movie.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 1/10

Max Steel is not very special

5 second plot: Max moves back to the town where he used to live when he was a little kid. This is also the town where his dad died in an explosion at a technical research facility. From the moment he arrives he start experiencing strange energy waves coming from his body.

5 second review: The effects are good and as an origin story it's okay. But it feels like a TV pilot and I think it's meant for small children. It's a little bit 'light' for my taste.

IMDb score: 4,6/10
Our score: 3/10

The Accountant is seriously cool

5 second plot: Christian is a math savant who's exceptionally good at accounting (but not very good with people). He does the books for (big) criminal organisations. When he finds out that the Treasury Department is making inquiries about him, he takes on a legitimate client. But then he finds something in their books that no-one was supposed to find out about.

5 second review: It's a very elaborate back story for a simple action movie and not everyone's motivation (for doing what they do) makes sense but this accountant is so fucking cool nothing else matters. I always love it when they get a mysterious invincible superhuman with mad fighting skills right.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 9/10

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Mascots is not for me

5 second plot: Mascots from all over the world get ready to compete in this years Fluffy Awards.

5 second review: I didn't laugh one single time. This mockumentary thing isn't for me, so it seems. Or maybe the movie is just not funny.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Boo! A Madea Halloween made 75 million

5 second plot: Madea and her friends have to babysit her 17-year old niece on Halloween night. She wants to go to a frat party but she is not allowed to.

5 second review: I seriously can not believe this movie made 75 million dollars. I did not know Tyler Perry had this many fans. And it cost 20 million to produce? What!? Did I miss something? Did I watch the right movie? I guess it's an acquired taste. It must be.

IMDb score: 4,6/10
Our score: 2,5/10

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Westworld Season 1 Episode 2: Chestnut

5 second plot: We follow 2 new guests as they arrive. I'm guessing we'll be seeing more of them in the next episodes. The man in black is looking for the entrance to the maze. This is the 'expert' level of the park. More and more robots are starting to remember things. And that's bad, because they have been through some crazy shit.

5 second review: I love this mysterious mix of western and sci-fi. The characters are perfect and the story-lines are very interesting. The overall quality of this show is very good. It's impressive.

IMDb score: 9,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, October 7, 2016

The Birth of a Nation is not an easy watch

5 second plot: Nat Turner is a slave who has been working on a cotton plantation his entire life. He knows how to read and becomes a preacher who travels to other plantations to preach to other slaves. What he sees on his trips makes him sad and angry. One day he decides it's time to act.

5 second review: This is not an easy watch. It's a tough history lesson. But a very important one. It's a shame the controversy surrounding writer, star and director Nate Parker took away the attention from the important message the movie tries to bring.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7/10

Personal Shopper is something else

5 second plot: Maureen is waiting in Paris for a sign from her twin brother, who died there a couple of months ago. In the meantime she works as a personal shopper for a rich and famous woman.

5 second review: Why do spirits always wait untill it's dark to come out? That freaks people out man. You will eather love or hate this movie. Or a little bit of both. I can't make up my mind: is it a mystery masterpeace or is it clumpsy filmmaking? I was not happy with the WTF ending. But I will be thinking about it for several days. I guess that was the whole idea. One thing's for sure though: Kirsten Stewart is brilliant.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Monster sure is the right title for this movie

5 second plot: A troubled (young) mom and her young (caring) daughter get into an car accident in the middle of the woods. And there is a monster waiting for them.

5 second review: The performances are good and the production is decent. But you have to be patient to get to the good stuff. It's a slow tension builder. And it's emotionally very heavy for a monster movie. So be prepared for that as well.

IMDb score: 5,4/10
Our score: 6/10

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The Girl on the Train is a very dark mystery

5 second plot: Every day Rachel rides the train fantasizing about other people's lives. This is her way of trying to cope with losing her own perfect life. One day the police shows up asking questions about a missing person. This happens to be one of her favorite train fantasy people.

5 second review: It's a very decent mystery but it tackles lots of serious issues so it's more dark drama than exciting mystery. And I was rooting for the latter.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 5/10

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Westworld Season 1 Episode 1: The Original

5 second plot: Westworld is a western theme park where guests can live out their fantasies. They can do whatever they want with the robots that live there. These robots are state of the art, you can't distinguish them from real humans. They're programmed to stick to a certain script, but some of them are beginning to deviate from it a little bit too much.

5 second review: This first episode looks great. The cast is spectacular. The theme park is awesome. The back stage looks fantastic. I think this could be the next big thing (I'm talking TWD and GoT big). I would like a little bit more information on how it's all supposed to work. Because I think the idea is that this is the future and we shouldn't be asking too many questions. But that's not good enough for me.

IMDb score: 9,3/10
Our score: 9,5/10