Monday, September 29, 2014

The Big Bang Theory Season 8 Episode 3: The First Pitch Insufficiency

5 second plot: The Angels ask Howard to throw out the first pitch next game. But he can't throw a ball that far. Sheldon has to take Amy on a bunch of dates in a row because of their relationship agreement. And Penny and Leonard are getting cold feet about getting married.

5 second review: Howard's got some amazing slapstick sequences in this episode. He's such a klutz. I laughed my ass off. All the jokes are delivered pitch perfect.

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 9/10

Gotham Season 1 Episode 2: Selina Kyle

5 second plot: Homeless kids are being kidnapped in Gotham by a freaky nice looking couple. Jim and Harvey are put on the case. Meanwhile Oswald Cobblepot is turning into a vicious killer. Bruce is going to a dark place. Cat tells Jim she knows who killed Bruce's parents.

5 second review: The gangster woman who wanted our two detectives dead has forgotten all about their troubles and is answering questions? That doesn't make very much sense. I don't yet see the added value of calling this show 'Gotham'. It's just a simple detective story. But I must say Donal Logue surprises me (positively) every time. I know him mainly from his 'Grounded for Life' days, but this character is a whole other ball game.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 6,5/10

Annabelle is a slow creeper

5 second plot: This is the origin story of Annabelle, the creepy doll that appeared in The Conjuring. The doll gets possessed by a woman who was a member of a satanic cult after she dies (while holding the doll). The woman dies in the house of a young couple. The wife is pregnant at the time and after their baby is born, the doll follows them. And is up to no good.

5 second review: This is not an action packed, one scare after another ghost story. It takes its time to build up the tension. And not very much happens. But the few times it does get creepy, it freaked me out. There is one scene where a little girl comes up to the camera and transforms... That scared the shit out of me. And this doll exist in our real world. It looks different (not movie material so they changed it), but it's real. Boo!

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7/10

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 12: Last Rites

5 second plot: Everyone's back at Setrakian's place, licking their wounds. Internet girl's got a plan. She can get Eph on every TV and radio by hacking into an emergency broadcast signal. We get the origin story of Setrakian's heart in the jar. Criminal guy goes out looking for guns. He is kidnapped by the cool (good?) vamp-killing group from a couple of episodes ago. The old rich guy finally gets a visit from The Master. And the evil German is knocking on Setrakian's door.

5 second review: Some things are just ludicrous. And not very well done. But then we get eye-popping creatures and lots of gore and nastiness and all is well again. It's quite the contrast. The drama is terrible, but the horror is awesome.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, September 26, 2014

Star Wars Rebels Season 1 is fun

5 second plot: This is the story of a team of rebels that really despises the Empire. They try to save as many people as they can from its clutches. They often have to save each other as well. And they try to hit the Empire where it hurts. The good news is that they’ve got two Jedi in their midst: a master and a padawan. The bad news is that they live in a time when the Empire is very powerful and very evil.

5 second review: Rebels is really for kids. It’s very playful. But if you’re a real Star Wars fan, you won’t mind. And it’s fun. For instance: they steal a TIE fighter and paint it very colorful. But then they need it to get in an enemy battleship unnoticed. With the colorful fighter. They've also got a great droid with an awesome personality. The animation is better than Clone Wars, only the Wookies and Lando (yes! Lando!) look very weird. The last two minutes of the season are very exciting. Ahsoka returns and so does the big guy all dressed in black. What’s his name again?

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Monday, September 22, 2014

Gotham Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: It's the first day on the job for detective Jim Gordon. He and his partner have to investigate the murder of Mr and Mrs Wayne. It looks like a pretty straightforward case at first, but it's not. And of course, the viewer gets to meet all the 'special' people of Gotham. But we meet them years before they become superheroes (or -villains).

5 second review: It has to be said that it's not the same atmosphere as a Batman-movie. It's more grounded. It's a detective story. Set in Gotham. It's kinda fun to meet the future Gotham-superstars. But it's also tricky. I don't know if hardcore fans will be satisfied (they might be spotting errors everywhere).

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 7,5/10

The Big Bang Theory Season 8 Episode 1: The Locomotion Interruption

5 second plot: Leonard has to pick up Sheldon in Arizona. He's had enough of his trip. Howard is upset that Stuart is replacing him in his mom's house. Bernadette got Penny a job interview at her work.

5 second review: This first episode starts off strangely unfunny. Sheldon reminded me of Mr. Bean. And that felt all wrong. But half way through the boys and girls find their mojo and then it's back to the familiar standard.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 7/10

The Big Bang Theory Season 8 Episode 2: The Junior Professor Solution

5 second plot: Bernadette would like Penny to study before her training starts (for the job that Bernadette helped her get). But Penny doesn't see the point in doing so. Sheldon gets promoted. This means he can change his field of expertise. But it also means he has to start teaching. And he's only got one student: Howard.

5 second review: This is only the second episode and they are already at warp speed. Everyone's being his or her hilarious self. Love it.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 9/10

The Equalizer is solid

5 second plot: Bob is an average Joe living a good simple life. One day he decides to help a young girl in trouble. She's being exploited by the Russian mafia. But if he wants to save the girl, he's going to have to think big.

5 second review: The story jumps all over the place to avoid falling in plot holes and to keep the action going at high speed, but that's actually still okay, because the (sometimes very violent) action is solid, the indestructible hero is awesome and the super villain is really cool. It's even got a mega cool explosion-while-walking-away-like-nothing's-up scene!

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score; 9/10

Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 11: The Third Rail

5 second plot: Eph, Fet, Nora and Setrakian are on the move. The plan is to take The Master down as swiftly as possible. But there are a lot of 'munchers' they have to get passed first. Eph's son Zack is left in the shop with Nora's demented mother. Oh, and Gus, the escaped criminal, goes home to check on his mom and brother. And it's, well..., not good.

5 second review: There's some awesome claustrophobic shit going on in this episode. And some genuine great scares. But also a couple of things that bothered me: like them walking around like tourists in the tunnels. And the way The Master looks like... I'm sorry, but that is a seriously bad make-up job. He doesn't look scary, he looks like a guy in a rubber suit straight out of a monster movie from the '40s. It's ridiculous.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 6/10

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Maze Runner is okay

5 second plot: Thomas wakes up in a place surrounded by a giant maze. There are others just like him. All young guys. And they can't remember anything, except for their names. They've been trying to find a way out for many years now. All they know is that you don't want to get stuck in the maze when the door closes.

5 second review: This maze feels real. The sound effects make it even feel alive. The creatures are good, but they're all the same. That's a shame. The performances are solid. The story is okay, but it could have been great. It feels a bit like something's missing. But that missing part is probably situated somewhere in the follow-up movie(s).

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 6,5/10

A Walk Among the Tombstones at least has a cool title

5 second plot: Matt is an ex-cop who is now roaming the streets of NY as an unlicensed private dick. He is asked to look into the killing of a drug trafficker's wife. Because apparently this guy can't call the cops. Matt finds out that he is dealing with a couple of lunatics.

5 second review: These rich drug dudes can't call up some big killer dudes to do their dirty work? Being a gangsta isn't what it used to be. There are lots of these curious-things-to-fill-the-plot-holes. This movie feels like a first timer for the director. It's completely unbalanced and just all over the place. Liam Neeson is cool though.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 4/10

Tusk is just too nasty

5 second plot: An obnoxious guy who thinks he's really funny goes on a trip to Canada to interview someone (a guy who accidentally chopped off a leg with a samurai sword, haha, not funny) for his Not-See Party podcast. When he gets there he finds out that the poor guy killed himself (indeed, not funny again). Lucky for us he meets another interesting fella.

5 second review: The first part of the movie is boring and annoying. It's an annoying guy interviewing another annoying guy about uninteresting stuff. And then... it gets really nasty. But not in a good way, just over the top nastiness. It was simply too much for me. Yuk.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 0/10

Space Station 76 is a misfire

5 second plot: A new crew member arrives at Space Station 76. The people living there are mostly douchebags. An asteroid is heading towards them, but let me tell you the ending right now to save you the agony of watching this: it misses the Space Station by a whisker.

5 second review: I was willing to give this a chance. It's a 70's version of the future created today. That sounds interesting. And it looks interesting. The idea was (probably) to be amazingly funny. But it's painfully not the case. It's a good effort, really, but it sucks big-time. You could easily be doing something else while watching this movie and not miss one thing.

IMDb score: 4,9/10
Our score: 2/10

The Scribbler focuses on being cool

5 second plot: Suki is a mental patient with a multiple personality disorder. Since her 'Siamese Burn' therapy is going well, she is allowed to live on her own again in Juniper Tower, also called 'Jumper Tower' because a lot of patients throw themselves off the roof. Suki finds out that one of her alter-ego's, The Scribbler, might be superhuman.

5 second review: It's not all that interesting and there isn't very much of a story-line to be found, but as a comic book character origin story it's pretty cool.  But you have to be into this fast flashy video-clip style. If you're not: stay away.

IMDb score: 5,3/10
Our score: 5/10

This Is Where I Leave You is fantastic

5 second plot: To honor their father's dying wish to have a Shiva (that's something like a 7-day mourning sit-down) a family tries to survive one week in each others company. Emotions run wild, family secrets unravel, problems emerge, problems are solved,... all normal family stuff.

5 second review: Oh man, I love this movie. I don't know if it's the spectacular chemistry between the star packed (PACKED) cast or if it's the writing or the fun stuff that's slipped in here and there. Or everything combined. It's an amazing movie. It doesn't miss one single beat.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Guest is too good to be true

5 second plot: A soldier shows up on the doorstep of a family who's son/brother was killed in action not long ago. The stranger was a friend of their son/brother and just came to tell them that his last thoughts were with his family. This stranger seems to be a perfect guy. He's helping everybody without wanting anything in return. But of course, there's a catch.

5 second review: It's not easy to say something about this movie without spoiling your fun. Or maybe it's not such a big surprise. Him being a super-robot and stuff. Oops. Just kidding. He's no robot. Or is he? Well, let's just say it's a pretty decent movie, with good performances and some nice good vs bad moments.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 7/10

Extant Season 1 Episode 13: Ascension (season finale)

5 second plot: Molly flies up to the Seraphim to save her colleague and redirect the space station away from it's collision course with earth. John finds the bomb inside Ethan. But it's not easy to remove it. The offspring takes over the space command center and tries to stop Molly.

5 second review: It's pretty cool they did a 2001 reference with Ben. 'I'm afraid I can't do that.' Classic. The whole idea of spores attacking is awesome and the futuristic aspects of the show are great. But there are lots of things in this episode that annoyed me. Like the box that says 'Plan C' when they were just talking about plan A and plan B. Or the fact that they are talking about everyday feelings when they have a killer ET kid walking around, an explosive robot-kid and a spouse that is going on a suicide mission. You would think they'd be a bit more stressed.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 5/10

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Strain Season 1 Episode 10: Loved Ones

5 second plot: Zach locates his mom's cell phone and Eph goes out to find her. The virus gets to her first and The Master seems to have a special plan for her. Vasiliy and hack-girl try to get the internet back up and running. And the others seem to know where to find the big fucker and look for a back entrance.

5 second review: Oh man, I had trouble not to fast forward most of this episode. It's overly dramatic and often ridiculous. And they are taking their sweet time. Jesus. This is a fucking national emergency. Get moving! Also, the nasty stuff is always the same and the shock effect is wearing off.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 4/10

Friday, September 12, 2014

Z Nation Season 1 Episode 1: Puppies and Kittens

5 second plot: A zombie outbreak killed almost everyone in the USA. There is a survivor who is carrying an antidote in his blood. The thing is: he's in New York, and the lab that can get the antidote out of his blood is in California. That's a long way to go and a whole bunch of zombies he has to get passed.

5 second review: Wow, this stinks. There's the guy from Lost, so I thought: how bad can it be? Trust me: this is horrible. For a minute I even thought it was a spoof. I figured they must be joking. But it's dead serious. Horrible acting and terrible lines. The things these poor people have to say. And listen to this: there's a zombie baby in this first episode. A. Zombie. Ba-by. Not cool, man.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 0/10

The Drop is really good

5 second plot: Bob is a bartender in his uncle's bar. The bar is actually owned by local gangsters. It serves as a drop point for money that can't be taken to the bank. One day Bob finds a puppy in a dumpster. This sets off a chain of events that he doesn't immediately understand but spirals totally out of control.

5 second review: This is one of those crime movies that we don't get to see very often. It's small scaled but big hearted. We only get to see a tiny piece of the puzzle these people are living in. That's all we need to know. That makes it possible to focus on the characters and on things that matter for the story. All of the performances are really good, but Tom Hardy is just perfect.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 9/10

The Skeleton Twins is not very uplifting

5 second plot: Just before Maggie tries to kill herself she gets a call from a hospital to inform her that her twin brother (who she hasn't spoken to in 10 years) almost killed himself. They try to figure out how they got where the are and try to make life better for each other.

5 second review: The central characters are solid. The performances are too. The story moves along slowly. We can see some progress and transformation here and there, but not a lot is going on. But it's still good. It's not boring. The only thing is: it's not going anywhere. Not really.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 6/10

Honeymoon is not what I expected

5 second plot: Bea and Paul just got married and are spending their honeymoon in a family cottage in the woods. Everything is perfect but then one night Bea disappears and when she returns she starts acting weird.

5 second review: This is one of those movies that keeps you guessing until the very end. A couple of smart-asses will probably have a clue three quarters in, but you simply can't be sure. This long wait creates an expectation. And it's a big expectation. I was expecting the devil himself to rise from the underworld bringing all sorts of mayhem with him. But that's not quite what happens. So it was a bit of a bummer.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 6/10

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Revenge of the Green Dragons is funny looking

5 second plot: Two young Chinese boys arrive in Queens, New York in 1983. It doesn't take long for them to get recruited by the baddest boys in town: the Green Dragons. The sweet kids turn into bad-ass criminals overnight (well, almost).

5 second review: These '80s criminals are funny looking. Why are they beating up little kids? I didn't really get it. This is a cheap ass movie. Don't waste your time with it. And don't be fooled by the 'Martin Scorsese' on the poster.

IMDb score; 5,2/10
Our score; 0/10

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Extant Season 1 Episode 12: Before the Blood

5 second plot: Earth has lost contact with the spaceship. Molly is trying to figure out what is going on. In the spaceship everybody (well, there is only one guy) is happy to see Katie again, but we, the viewers, can sense that something's up. Ethan almost blows up the lab. And Molly finally meets her alien boy.

5 second review: Finally! We get the see the little bugger. He looks awesome. Really sweet kid with eyes that glow. It was about time this show started picking up speed. There's only one episode left and a lot of riddles left unsolved. Please oh please don't let this be a cliffhanger ending.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10