Friday, February 22, 2013

Dark Skies

5 second plot: A family is experiencing some very weird stuff, like hundreds of birds killing themselves by flying against their house. I bet they wished they could call Scully and Mulder.

5 second review: A very tense film, nicely building up from a quiet family life to a living nightmare. I want to believe.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 9,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 23 mio $ worldwide (on 24-05-2013)


5 second plot: The Rock's son gets arrested for dealing narcotics. Of course, the kid is innocent (not really, but hey, I'm not arguing with The Rock). To reduce his sentence, the kid has to snitch on someone. But he doesn't know anyone else. The Rock steps in and tries to catch a big fish so that his son doesn't have to go jail.

5 second review: This movie bored the living crap out of me. The Rock is too soft. He gets his ass kicked in the beginning by a couple of thugs a quarter his size. It's more a comment on the American justice system than an action movie.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 3/10
Box office mojo: 43 mio $ worldwide (on 23-06-2013)

Monday, February 18, 2013

Battle of the Damned is ludicrous

5 second plot: In a city in South East Asia the entire population gets infected with a virus that turns them into some kind of fast killer zombies. Dolph Lundgren goes in to rescue a girl. He loses his entire team in the first 5 minutes but gets unexpected help a little bit later. From zombie killing robots.

5 second review: I think Dolph Lundgren was held against his will while making this movie. The story, continuity, dialogue and special effects are ludicrous. And location- and actor-wise you can see where they tried to save money. But the zombies (pardon me: the infected) are alright.

IMDb score: 4,4/10
Our score: 1/10

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Haunted House

2 sec plot: Spoof (or should I say: copy) of recent I-filmed-it-myself haunted house movies.

2 sec review: Over the top stupid, not always in a good way, but one or two times LOL funny.

IMDb score: 4,8/10
Box Officer Mojo: 40 mio $ worldwide
Our score: 5/10

A Good Day to Die Hard

2 second plot: John goes to Russia to help his son who is in jail but gets into a whole lot more trouble then he expected.

2 second review: A truly old school Die Hard movie: extreme over the top action sequences and invincible good guys.

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 304 mio $ worldwide (on 17-05-2013) and counting

Oz the Great and Powerful

5 second plot: Oz is a carnival magician in Kansas. After he gets swept away in an hot air balloon by a tornado he ends up in a place also called Oz. There his mission is to fulfill the prophecy and defeat the wicked witch.

5 second review: This feels like a reversed Roger Rabbit where the 'real' people are in the cartoon instead of the cartoon in the real world. They should had used real sets. Because it all feels really empty. The only fun stuff is the reference to The Wizard of Oz. And the beautiful Mila Kunis. But she turns green half way through.

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 5/10
Box office mojo: 491 mio $ worldwide (on 22-06-2013)

Friday, February 8, 2013

Side Effects takes a damn long time to twist

5 second plot: A young woman is depressed and sees a psychiatrist. He prescribes her pills that make her sleepwalk. When she is sleepwalking she does the darndest things... But seriously, it gets out of hand. Big time.

5 second review: Man, this is a depressing and boring movie. For the first hour that is. Yes, I know, that's a long time. Looking back on it, I don't know how I made it until the end. But I must say, the end result is satisfying.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 6/10
Box Office Mojo: 32 mio $ worldwide

Friday, February 1, 2013

Warm Bodies

2 second plot: It's a romantic Romeo and Juliet fairy tale where R is the zombie and at the end love conquers all.

2 second review: There's not much story there, but it's still pretty smart and funny (at times) and the performances make it work.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 117 mio $ worldwide (on 17-05-2013) and counting