The Orville Season 1 Episode 1: Old Wounds

5 second plot: In the year 2419 Ed Mercer is promoted to captain of the ship The Orville. He is not too happy with his ex-wife being assigned as his First Officer. One their first mission they run into the Krill, a dangerous enemy.

5 second review: I loved the trailer of this first episode. But if you've seen the trailer, you've seen the best parts. Literally all the good jokes are already in the trailer. The rest of the episode is actually quite terrible. The crew explains everything that is going to happen in great detail. They're telling it to each other but you know that they are talking to you, the stupid viewer.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 3/10
Our score for the trailer: 9,5/10

It is scary fun

5 second plot: It's not easy being a kid in Derry in 1988-89. Either you get beaten up by the local bullies, have horrible nightmares/visions or get chased by an evil clown that wants to eat you alive. Enter 'The Losers'. They are tired of being scared and decide to put an end to It.

5 second review: This is like a fucked up horror version of The Goonies. The kids are perfectly cast, the horror is great (don't worry about kids being involved, no-one's holding back here), it's funny as shit and scary as hell. I will be dreaming of this fucking clown for a very long time.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 9/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf (season finale)

5 second plot: Daenerys and friends show the zombie to Cersei and friends. Sansa and Arya's conflict reaches a boiling point. We find out who Jon really is (it's even more complicated than we first thought). The dead arrive at the wall.

5 second review: It's great to see old friends and foes meet. It's a good thing Bron is there to take the edge off (a little bit). I love the way Ned Stark's legacy is still very much alive. He is still the coolest man in GoT. This episode is unreal. I don't think I've ever in my life seen an episode of a TV show this good. And now we wait...

IMDb score: 9,7/10
Our score: 10/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

5 second plot: Jon and his band of brothers find the army of the dead. They are able to catch one of them, but at a great cost.  Aria confronts Sansa with something she did a long time ago. She doesn't seem to realize that Littlefinger is playing her.

5 second review: There's a lot of talking and butt-kissing first to get to the spectacular stuff. But it's worth the wait. I don't like where they are going with Aria in the story. I hope she's not as stupid as they are trying to make us believe.

IMDb score: 9,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child is nothing new

5 second plot: There's been an outbreak of self-bred killer monsters on a colonized planet (we're in the future by the way). A military man has got somewhat less than 24 hours to save his family before the planet is destroyed (as a containment precaution).

5 second review: The sci-fi stuff is not bad for a low budget movie. The big set pieces are filmed from a distance or in a bit of a blur, but that's still okay. Some things weren't given enough thought though. Like prison guards with very impractical armor (it had to be cool, not practical, I guess). There's nothing new, nothing original, so why waste your time creating a small budget movie like this? There's no added value.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 2/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5: Eastwatch

5 second plot: Spoilers ahead! Jaime realizes that it's going to be impossible to win the war. Cersei won't hear of it. Jon wants to show Cersei a zombie to convince her to leave Daenerys alone for a bit so she can help him fight the dead. Tyrion secretly meets with Jaime to talk about it. Jon teams up with a magnificent band of heroes and misfits to go snatch the zombie.

5 second review: There's no big battle in this episode. I was kind of getting used to it. Jon's team has got The Hound in it, the bastard son of king Baratheon, Jorah and the leader of the wildlings. Now that's a team-up! I was thinking about the meeting between Jaime and Tyrion. How did they arrange that? They don't have phones so how in the world did he ring that in?

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 9/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4: The Spoils of War

5 second plot: Spoilers ahead! Cersei regains the trust of the Iron Bank. Aria comes home. Daenerys and Jon are starting to get along but she still wants him to bend the knee. When Daenerys finds out that she is losing the war, she decides to take matters into her own hands. In other words: Jamie and Bronn are screwed.

5 second review: Well girl, if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself, I guess. The way the tension builds up to this episode's battle is awesome. It felt like the Jurassic Parc T-Rex build-up. The production value (battles, dragons, fire, explosions,...) is amazing for a TV show. They were not kidding when they said this season would be BIG.

IMDb score: 9,9/10
Our score: 10/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3: The Queen's Justice

5 second plot: Spoilers ahoy! Jon shits his pants when he meets Daenerys' dragons. The mother of dragons is not buying his story about the living dead. Bran makes it back to Winterfell. Cersei avenges her daughter's death. And seems to be outwitting her brother in the strategies of war.

5 second review: This is a very interesting episode. It feels like watching a Rocky movie: first the good guys get punched in the face (a lot) and just when you think they are going to stay down, they're going to start throwing killer punches. Or at least: that's what I think will happen. For now, they are just getting punched in the face. A lot.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2: Stormborn

5 second plot: Melisandre pays Daenerys a visit. And informs her of the existence of one Jon Snow. Cersei is still trying to find allies. Sam tries to cure Jorah. Tyrion lays out his attack strategy. Not everything goes as planned. A premature battle is fought at sea.

5 second review: This episode has it all: it's cool, sexy, action packed, nasty (stomach turning), filled with visual goodies and it has an awesome blood gushing battle.

IMDb score: 9,2/10
Our score: 10/10

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone

5 second plot: Spoiler alert! Arya kills every last one of the fuckers that helped slaughter her family at the red wedding. Now she's on her way to kill the queen. The zombie army is coming. Jon is organizing the defense of the wall together with Sansa. Bran arrives at the wall. Cersei is trying to figure out what crazy thing to do next. The Dragon Queen is home at last.

5 second review: They are not wasting any time: let's get crackin'! It's turning into a good old fashion fight of good against evil. We don't just get to see zombies in this episode but GIANT zombies! How cool is that? The Hound is hilarious. The Ed Sheeran cameo is NOT. But it's not terrible. Just stupid.

IMDb score: 9/10
Our score: 9,5/10

The Big Sick is not very entertaining

5 second plot: Kumail, a stand-up comedian, falls in love with Emily. He is from Pakistan and she is not. So it's kind of a forbidden relationship. This leads to them breaking up. Not long after they break up, she ends up in a coma. He stays by her side, but this is pretty awkward since her parents -who he never met - are also there and they know they broke up.

5 second review: It's more about romance and about human relationships than it is about comedy. It's funny from time to time but it's not the main focus. It's a very personal story (literally) for Kumail Nanjiani so I guess he had to tell it the way it really happened. The premise is very special, but the story is not entertaining enough to fill a 2 hour movie. Or maybe it just isn't my thing. I loved the ending though.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 5/10

Baywatch is terrible fun

5 second plot: Three new recruits are training to be a Baywatch lifeguard. When the team discovers that a criminal mastermind (actually just a bad Bond villain wannabee) is trying to take over the bay, the training is put on hold.

5 second review: What can I say. It's a whole lot of bullshit. And the shit-pile gets bigger and bigger until it eventually gets too big and collapses under its own weight. But still, I laughed my ass off and actually had a fun time watching it. That says more about me than about the movie.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 6,5/10

The Handmaid's Tale Season 1 is bleak

5 second plot: Humanity has become infertile. Only a few babies are born. The US has been taken over by traditional fundamentalists. Their solution to the problem is to gather up the fertile woman and have them impregnated by the leaders of the country. Offred is one of those women.

5 second review: For a world where they are scared not to have enough people they sure are killing a lot of them. It's a bleak story (more drama than sci-fi) that slowly unfolds over the course of ten episodes. Sometimes it feels a little bit stretched out, but I don't think they could have fitted this in a normal length movie. Elisabeth Moss' performance is amazing. The way she has to switch from one extreme emotion (trying to keep her shit together) to another is unreal.

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Colossal is weird

5 second plot: Gloria has got a drinking problem. She goes back to her old neighborhood to sort things out. And then she finds out that she is somehow connected to a monster that's roaming the streets of Seoul.

5 second review: I don't know who came up with this crazy idea or who had the balls to greenlit it, but I definitely do not know what they are trying to tell us. Either someone lost their mind halfway through the movie or someone didn't know what to do next and only had 60 minutes worth of film and started randomly making stuff up. I sure as hell don't know what to make of this. Please don't tell me this is a lesson on the dangers of addiction.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 2/10

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 16: The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

5 second plot: Complete SPOILER ahead! Dwight (Negan's top guy) convinces Rick and his crew that he wants to switch sides. Alexandria prepares to attack Negan on the next visit. But they get double crossed by the all-dressed-in-black-fuckers (I knew it!). Alexandria narrowly escapes the wrath of Negan thanks to the Kingdom and the Hilltop.

5 second review: Will this Negan nightmare never end? I guess not. It's a very emotional and tense episode. But the final battle is confusing and doesn't seem to add up. And as a final note on the season: it felt like every episode was produced by an entirely different crew. I'm not too fond of this 'let's try something different every episode' style.

IMDb score: 7,6/10

Our score: 7/10

Ghost in the Shell is very cool

5 second plot: A young woman's brain is successfully transplanted into a mechanical body. The result is a bad ass soldier called 'Major'. On one of her missions she encounters a mysterious hacker. This encounter leads to her questioning her own existence.

5 second review: Scarlett looks awesome, the hacker is cool, the world looks the way it should look (in my opinion), the cybertech shit and stuff is solid and the action is good. There could have been a little bit more action and little less walking around though. And there's some seriously shitty CGI in the final showdown.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 8/10

T2 Trainspotting is good but not great

5 second plot: Renton returns to his home town after 20 years and catches up with his old pals. They are all doing great. And they're very happy to see him. Not.

5 second review: Flashy images: check; noisy soundtrack: check; bleak British colors: check. This is a good update (especially the first encounters of Renton with his pals) but some things feel like a sad attempt to be great again (the 'chose life' update for instance). 

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 7/10

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 15: Something They Need

5 second plot: Tara tells Rick where he can find lots of guns. The gang tries to take the guns peacefully (sounds funny huh). Sasha is Negan's prisoner. He wants her to join him. She says 'yes' too easily so he doesn't buy it. Maggie needs to watch out for the leader of the Hilltop what's-his-name. He's bad news.

5 second review: Did I miss an episode where Tara was trying to decide what to do? She promised she wouldn't tell anyone about the hidden group. I didn't really know where they were going with it at first but I loved the Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-zombies. They were there to make us not hate Rick for stealing the guns from a weaker group. Because now he saved them ya know... Too bad the group-name 'Saviors' is already taken.

IMDb score: 7,8/10

Our score: 7/10

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 14: The Other Side

5 second plot: Sasha, Rosita and their big ass gun are going to try to take out Negan. The Saviors visit the Hilltop. They've come for the doctor, since Negan threw their last one in the stove.

5 second review: It's not easy to keep a TV series interesting for 7 seasons. This episode sure does make that clear. I was wondering why Sasha was mourning so hard, but now I remembered that she was with what's his name. The Saviors came for the doctor with 50 men (approx.). Why so many? That doesn't make sense. They wanted us to think they came looking for Daryl probably. Well, congrats, you fooled me.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 5/10

The Walking Dead Season 7 Episode 13: Bury Me Here

5 second plot: Carol is homesick for Alexandria. The Saviors piss the King off. So I guess he will join the fight (surprise surprise). Morgan loses his shit.

5 second review: Everyone's acting like it's a surprise the Kingdom will join the fight. But we all knew it was going to happen. The Saviors were going to do something unforgivable so the King could change his mind. I just feel like the writers could have made it a bit more interesting. I think they are running out of juice.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 6/10