Monday, January 30, 2017

John Wick: Chapter 2 is the real deal

5 second plot: John Wick's coming out of retirement sets off a chain of events leading to him being on everyone's kill list. But you know John: if he sees you first, you're already dead.

5 second review: I love his old school judo (well, maybe not really judo) fighting style and I also love the old school rules and regulations surrounding the union of hit men/women. This movie is one big fight sequence where the character you're rooting for always ends up on top.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 9,5/10

Friday, January 27, 2017

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is conveniently awesome

5 second plot: There are only 4000 people left on the planet (a bit less after this movie). But there's an antidote for the virus (now that's convenient). Alice has got 24 hours to get to the hive and release this antidote. For everyone's convenience this convenient antivirus is airborne. Hooray.

5 second review: After a much appreciated recap by Alice the action starts IMMEDIATELY. LET'S GET CRACKIN'! The red queen rules, Alice rules, the bad guys can't shoot for shit and the effects are not very good, but not terrible either. The fans gotta love this. It's awesome, right?

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 8/10

Monday, January 23, 2017

War on Everyone is not FOR everyone

5 second plot: Two corrupt cops (with their harts in the right place) go about their business. Catching bad guys. Steeling their money. And their TV.

5 second review: This movie balances on the edge between being super cool and being a failed wannabee. A lot of cool stuff is certainly mixed together (relaxed dudes, talking cool, nice car, cool soundtrack, lots of drugs, alcohol, guns,..) but there's not a lot of back-bone to support all this coolness. Not everyone is going to like it, but I could see what the idea was and I had a blast.

IMDb score: 6,1/10
Our score: 8,5/10

Friday, January 20, 2017

xXx: Return of Xander Cage is a little bit of fun

5 second plot: Vin Diesel is pulled out of retirement after 15 years to put together an awesome team and go fetch a device that can bring down satellites.

5 second review: The action is good, but there are too many cheap tricks to try and make it look cool: pretty girls, smart ass one-liners, crazy stunts (skiing through the jungle), crazier chases (an underwater bike chase), nut-job gimmicks, popular celebrity cameos, games with grenades,... And there is one member of the team who's special skill is DJ-ing. Say what now?

IMDb score: 5,3/10
Our score: 5/10

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

The Girl with All the Gifts is too sweet

5 second plot: Spoiler alert! (The least you know, the better your viewing experience will be.) The world has been overrun by bloodthirsty infected 'hungries'. Some kids are infected, but can still function normally, as long as they don't smell fresh meat. They might hold the key to the cure everyone's looking for.

5 second review: The infected are awesome when they get furious and very scary when they are in sleep-mode. It's not easy to add some new interesting thoughts to the zombie/infected genre, but this movie manages it. They made the girl (from the title) too sweet though. It's over the top and it's distracting.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 7/10

Friday, January 6, 2017

Underworld: Blood Wars is not much worse than the previous ones

5 second plot: Lycans are trying to find Selene's daughter because they think her blood will make them invincible. And they need to be invicible if they want to wipe out the vampires.

5 second review: If you didn't like the previous Underworld movies, don't bother with this one. If you did, you will probably find this one to be a bit crazier and less coherent than the previous ones but it's not a whole lot worse. And it's got some seriously cool Nordic vampires with psychic abilities. And guess who gets a taste of that?

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 5/10

Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Big Bang Theory Season 10 Episode 1-12 has its glorious moments

5 second plot: The military is interested in ... the ... thing the guys invented. Sheldon and Amy start living together. Penny gets invited to sign at a comic-con. Bernadette and Howard have their baby. Raj and Stuart help them out as much as they can.

5 second review: There are highs and lows in this first half of the tenth season. Highs: Penny's family, dancing, strange bed habits, a Christmas tree adventure,... Lows: let's not talk about that. Because the ups more than make up for the lows. That's quite an accomplishment for a tenth season.

IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 8/10