Sawney: Flesh of Man is definitely a good concept

5 second plot: 500 years ago Scotland was terrorized by an evil clan that killed and ate over 1000 people. The clan was captured and killed, but one of them survived. Now, Scotland is again plagued by brutal killings. One investigative reporter tries to figure out what's going on, since the police doesn't seem to know what to do.

5 second review: The set-up text in the beginning is the best thing about the movie. The main (or even: the only) focus is showing us lots of gory images. And that's pretty well done actually. But all the rest (story, characters, tension,...) is not.

IMDb score: 4,5/10
Our score: 3/10

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 5 needs some time to kick in

5 second plot: Darth Maul and his brother hook up with Deathwatch to create a new galactic underworld. It takes Darth Sidious himself to stop them. Also in this season we get a lot of information on Jedi rituals, we see the Jedi helping rebels, get to meet lots of pirates and we also see public opinion swinging against the Jedi. And slowly but surely the dark side is taking control.

5 second review: The first half of this season feels like the writers ran out of ideas. But the second half gets really interesting. Especially when the supreme bad ass cleans house. The season finale is the best one yet, as Ahsoka makes a bold decision.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 8/10

Thanks for Sharing is really sweat

5 second plot: This is the story of a couple of guys (and one girl) that are addicted to sex. They are trying to get their shit together so they can live their lives as normal as possible. But it's not easy, not even for the old timers.

5 second review: It's all about interrelations. Between new guy and sponsor, between son and father, between addict and new girlfriend, between first timer and first timer,... and it's beautifully melted into one story.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Bring Me the Head of the Machine Gun Woman is fantastic

5 second plot: A young guy gets sucked into a killing spree between a whole bunch of Chilean hit man and one hit woman: the Machine Gun Woman. She is smoking hot. He is kind of in love with her but he has to bring her in or another gangster will kill his mother.

5 second review: You have to be somewhat of a film lover to like this movie. It's an old school exploitation film: the images are grainy, the scenes are quick, the cuts hard,... With one enormous bonus: a very sexy killer dressed in a very sexy outfit. The middle of the film is maybe a tad too slow, but the rest is just fantastic fun.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 8/10

The Iceman

5 second plot: The Iceman is not a fictional character. He was a hit-man who killed over 100 people. And his family didn't know anything. He was as cold as ice and also froze his victims so the cops couldn't figure out when the killings took place.

5 second review: The story lends itself easy to be made in to a motion picture. Although they should have elaborated a bit on some details. Getting the actors right, that was the hardest part, but they all nail it perfectly. Even Winona and Ross (with a crazy mustache and ponytail) do a great job. 

IMDb score: 7/10

Our score: 8/10
Box Office Mojo: 2 mio $ worldwide (on 24-08-2013)

Byzantium is quite lovely

5 second plot: Eleanor is a vampire who has been on the run with her mother for over 200 years. They have to run because they broke the rules of a secret brotherhood. They end up in the place it all began, centuries ago.

5 second review: This is a beautiful, tragic, romantic story. But it also has vampires, beheadings and a lot of interesting mythical background information. The acting is great and you can feel the experience of the director in this almost perfectly crafted movie.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 9/10
Box Office Mojo: 85.000 $ worldwide (on 19-09-2013)

The Place Beyond the Pines is too long

5 second plot: A guy finds out that he's got a one year old son. Because he has no money to support his 'family' he starts robbing banks. While doing so, he (briefly) meets a cop. This cops blows the whistle on a couple of crooked cops and becomes assistant DA. 15 years later his son runs into the son of the previous guy.

5 second review: It starts off with a bang but then comes to a full stop filled with boring talks and awkward family-moments. In the third part it gets even worse. Why is this movie 2 hours and 20 minutes long? Who figured that out? How many movies are this in one? And please not a word about the crazy coincidence, I'll fucking blow.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 2/10

Kiss of the Damned has got some up-sides

5 second plot: A vampire finds the love of her life. Everything seems to be perfect but then her out of control sister comes over and it all changes.

5 second review: This isn't the best made vampire movie, but it's got some decent moments. Most of the gory scenes are nicely done and I must say I am also a fan of the steamy scenes. Wink.

IMDb score: 5,5/10
Our score: 4/10

Bullet to the Head

5 second plot: Hitman gets set up and is out for revenge. He teams up with a cop. They quickly find out that shit runs all the way up.

5 second review: The action sequences are pretty decent, but the rest of the movie is crap. It's a Lethal Weapon wannabee with really shitty dialogue.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score: 3/10
Box Office Mojo: 9 mio $ worldwide (on 08-06-2013)

Resolution is really boring

5 second plot: Michael tries to save his friend Chris from a drug addiction by locking him up in a cabin for a week. But then strange stuff starts happening and someone is leaving them clues for one reason or another.

5 second review: I only got halfway through the picture. Is this boring or what? Jesus. And very poorly made and even more poorly acted. I couldn't care less about what was going to happen. Kill them already and be done with it.

IMDb score: 6,2/10
Our score: 0/10

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is everything it's supposed to be

5 second plot: A hobbit, a wizard and a bunch of dwarfs are going on a dangerous adventure to kick the evil fire dragon Smaug out of the dwarf kingdom in the Lonely Mountain.

5 second review: It's quite incredible how Peter Jackson always delivers what the world expects of him, even if expectations are unbelievably high. And the stakes as well. For me, there are several moments that I don't like, mostly the big CGI scenes like the one with the trolls. But overall, it's a great adventure.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 8/10

Silent Night is very decent

5 second plot: A killer Santa selects a quiet little town to go and kill a bunch of people. And he likes to kill spectacularly. The local cops are on his tail but they don't really have the expertise to deal with this kind of psycho.

5 second review: This is a very decent slashermovie! It surprised me very much. If you are a fan of classic slashers, where blood seems to fly all over the place, this is a must see for you. Nice job. I don't understand why the IMDb score is so low. Probably because, for most people, it's not okay to fuck with Santa.

IMDb score: 5,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Life of Pi

2 sec plot: Boy gets stuck on a lifeboat with a tiger after his ship sinks.

2 sec review: This really is a very beautiful film but the end is a bit disappointing.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 7/10

Cloud Atlas

5 second plot: This story is a journey through time, covering several millenniums and unraveling separate stories that are connected through the souls of the participants.

5 second review: It is a long movie, but a lot happens in it, so it's not a drag, but it is somewhat of a challenge to hang in there until the end.

IMDb score: 7,7/10
Our score: 7/10
Box Office Mojo: 130 mio $ worldwide (on 23-05-2013)

American Horror Story Season 2: Asylum is ridiculous

5 second plot: The year is 1964, the location is an insane asylum run by the church. This season mixes the story of serial killers, a Nazi doctor, alien abductions, a possession, human flesh eating monsters, the angel of death herself and a lot of crazy folk into one (not very) coherent whole. Even Anne Frank gets to make an appearance.

5 second review: There is simply too much stuff in the mix here. There are some very cool and memorable scenes (the angel of death), but it's not more than that. The first 4 episodes are completely ridiculous and the last 3 are a boring stretch simply to get to the cool total of 13. Good performances from the cast, but the story is a very big mess.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 4/10

Two and a Half Men Season 10

5 second plot: Jake is a cook in the army; they try to keep him away from guns. Walden meets and loses a lot of woman. Alan is with Lindsey through most of the season but she dumps him at the end.

5 second review: They try to keep this show as fresh as possible. And it is working. They introduce a lot of great side characters that give the show new mojo. The jokes are still amazing, you kind of wonder where they keep getting the stuff. The running joke about kicking Alan out of the house is getting a bit old though.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 9/10

The Seasoning House is quite depressing

5 second plot: Set in the Balkans during the war, this is a story of young girls who are enslaved into prostitution for the soldiers. A deaf girl is enslaved as the boss's angel and has to take care of the 'house'. One day the soldiers that killed her family show up. And she fights back.

5 second review: We are in the Balkans. And everyone speaks English. With a Eastern European accent. It happens often in movies like these, but I will never get used to it. The subject of this film is horrifying. I like a good horror movie now and then, but this is far from fun to watch. There are some great performances in here. And a couple of good bad guy killings as well. But overall: very depressing.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 6/10

The Tall Man

2 second plot: In Cold Rock every couple of months a child goes missing, never to be heard of again.

2 second review: Cold, dark and mysterious with a strange twist that should take everyone by surprise.

IMDb score: 5,9/10
Our score: 7,5/10
Box Office Mojo: 5 mio $ worldwide (on 20-05-2013)

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Season 1

5 second plot: Jerry Seinfeld calls up his funny palls, picks them up in an appropriate car (someone even asked me if I was watching Top Gear), has a cup of coffee and a bite to eat and funny shit just happens.

5 second review: It's brilliant, it's beautiful, it's real, it's the kind of comedy I want to see. And it's free: it's just sitting there, on that thing called 'the internet'.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 10/10
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episodes 1-8

5 second plot: First the guys have a big mess to clean up. Then they simply start up again. But this time they are in charge. Well, Heisenberg is. By the end of the first half of the season, Walter is transformed into a psychopathic killer who wants to build nothing less than an empire.

5 second review: The schemes they come up with are brilliant (giant magnet, train robbery,...) and very entertaining. The Skyler-Walter situation is a bit too much drama, but everything else is really good off the chart television. Can't wait to find out how this will end.

IMDb score: 9,4/10
Our score: 9/10