Friday, December 20, 1985
Ran takes it too far
5 second plot: In good old Japan a great lord decides to retire. He puts his oldest son in charge. It does not take long for all his hard work (deceiving and killing with the sole purpose to conquer more land) to go down the shitter as his sons screw up and ghosts from the past come to haunt him.
5 second review: I simply don't understand the culture. I looks funny. The customs. The shouting. The drama. The hair... The old man looks horribly overdone by the make-up department. We get it: he doesn't feel well. No need to make him look like a clown. Talking of which: that clown must be one of the most annoying characters in movie history.
IMDb score: 8,3/10
Our score: 1/10
Friday, October 18, 1985
Re-Animator is crazy fun
5 second plot: A young scientist invents a potion that can bring the dead back to life. His experiments do not go as smoothly as he imagined. His test subjects seem to respond quite aggressively. And then the potion falls into the wrong hands.
5 second review: Well, it's more fun than I imagined it would be. It's nasty, over the top, crazy, glorious fun. It's one of those movies that is even more fun if you watch it with a bunch of people. Because from time to time you can almost not believe what you are seeing.
IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 6/10
Friday, August 16, 1985
The Return of the Living Dead is nuts
5 second plot: A group of friends and co-workers (and strangers) gets trapped in a medical supply warehouse and a neighboring mortuarium when a chemical is (accidentally) released that brings back the dead. These zombies only want one thing: brains.
5 second review: This is one crazy movie. It's completely over the top nuts. The movie is filled with memorable visuals, like the tar man (see below), and even more so with memorable lines, like 'more brains', 'technically you're not alive', 'send more cops',... It's hilarious and a must see for all horror fans.
IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 7/10
Friday, August 2, 1985
Fright Night gets right to it
5 second plot: Charley finds out that his new neighbor is a vampire. And he's killing someone every day. Everyone thinks Charley's imagination is running wild because he's a fan of monster movies. But the threat is real and soon enough Charley gets himself into a whole lot of trouble.
5 second review: This movie's got that awesome teenage '80s vibe. Add the fact that it's an old school fun monster movie and you've got a winner. There are some flaws here and there and it's sometimes overly dramatic. But it's still pretty decent and it's got some great memorable visual effects.
IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 8/10
Friday, July 12, 1985
Explorers is old school
5 second plot: Three friends find a way to travel as fast and as far as they want to. So what does one do in that case? Build a spaceship of course.
5 second review: It's a great adventure movie for kids. It's all about being fearless (and worry-less). The visual effects are really old school and the movie is very monotonous. But the aliens are definitely memorable.
IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 3/10
Thursday, June 13, 1985
NausicaƤ of the Valley of the Wind is a bit too dark
5 second plot: In a far away future wars have destroyed the world. The air is toxic, there are giant killer bugs and what's left of humanity is still at war, killing each other. But there is one hopeful light at the end of this dark tunnel, and that's the girl from the title, a brave princess with a heart of gold.
5 second review: It's not a very cheerful movie, this one. Most of the people in it are no good, there are only a few actually worth saving. It starts off as a great adventure, but then tumbles down the evil roller-coaster of mankind. Great visuals, but I prefer it a little less bleak.
IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 6/10
Friday, November 16, 1984
Night of the Comet doesn't have very much to say
5 second plot: The comet that killed the dinosaurs millions of years ago passes by earth again. The tail of the comet turns every human (animals too I guess) into dust. Two sisters survive and try to make the best of it. Oh yeah, not everyone turns to dust. Some people change into (reasonably smart) zombies.
5 second review: This is very '80s. Especially the hair. And the soundtrack. There is not a lot going on in this movie. The girls take the end of civilization rather lightly. They're mostly having fun. Shopping and stuff. One way or another electricity just keeps working. Traffic lights and everything.
IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 3/10
Sunday, September 23, 1984
Threads is not very uplifting
5 second plot: What would happen to the world in case of a global nuclear war? It would suck. Big time. This is the un-romanticized tale of that event. The real deal. Not very pretty.
5 second review: The film is poorly made and is very outdated. But that actually doesn't matter. The message still gets through. Loud and clear. One stupid decision and in the blink of an eye the entire world is down the shitter. This is a must see. Really.
IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 8,5/10
Friday, August 10, 1984
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is a whole lot of WTF
5 second plot: Buckaroo Banzai is a multi-talented almost-superhero. He found a way to contact alien life forms in the 8th dimension. But his contact sets off a chain of events that could destroy the world.
5 second review: The title is awesome, there's no discussion there. The aliens are awful. The movie is just terrible. You're only going to like this if you like over-acted 80's extravaganza. It's supposed to be funny (I think that was the idea), but it's not. I was intrigued at first (mostly due to the title) but that didn't last very long.
IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 2/10
Friday, July 13, 1984
The Last Starfighter is clumpsy
5 second plot: Alex is a guy who's very good at playing the video game 'Starfighter'. What he doesn't know is that this video game is used as a recruiting device for real starfighters who have to defend a group of planets far away from earth. One day Alex gets a visit from Centauri who's there to help him fulfill his destiny.
5 second review: The special effects are really awful and most of the alien creatures are awful as well. The sets and some of the props are memorable, but still not very spectacular. The only time the movie feels like a lot of fun is when Alex (or his replacement) is back on earth. But he doesn't spend much time there.
IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 4/10
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