Grown Ups 2 is horrible

5 second plot: The everyday boring life of a couple of grown ups.

5 second review: This movie is filled with a whole bunch of totally unfunny, childish and simply wrong jokes. But I still had to laugh with a lot of them. But that says more about my flaws than of the movie's merits.

IMDb score: 5,2/10
Our score: 5/10
Box Office Mojo: 242 mio $ worldwide (on 22-10-2013)

Captain Philips: is this guy for real?

5 second plot: This is the true story of the captain in the title, whose ship was hijacked by Somali pirates. The US Navy sent in a couple of warships and the Seals to resolve the situation as quickly as possible.

5 second review: You can not make up emotions like these... What an amazing performance - again - from Tom Hanks. The movie starts off slow - real life situations tend to do that - but builds up to a suspenseful finale that will put you on the edge of your seat. Hold on tight.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 8/10

Mystery Road is peculiar

5 second plot: In a remote town in the Australian outback a young girl is found murdered. A detective that used to live there is called to investigate. He doesn't get a lot of assistance, not even from his colleagues. But he is eager to find out what happened.

5 second review: This movie moves at such a slow pace I often wondered how in the world I was going to make it to the end. But I wanted to know the ending. And I'll be damned: the ending is the best part of the movie. But they somehow figured out a way to hide the clue so well, that I seem to have missed it. What the fuck is the clue to the whole story?

IMDb score: 6,6/10
Our score: 5/10

Crab Monsters, Teenage Cavemen and Candy Stripe Nurses

5 second book report: The life of Roger Corman, king of the B movies, told by a series of interviews with a whole bunch of people who started their career with him.

5 second review: What a revelation! Before reading this book I thought I knew a thing or two about movies. It turns out I didn't know shit! But now I do. Thanks to Chris Nashawaty. Oh yeah, this is book report by the way. It's not a movie. Just wanted to make sure you got that. It truly is a must read for all movie lovers.

Our score: 9/10

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland Season 1 Episode 1: Down the Rabbit Hole

5 second plot: Well, it's about Alice. In... Well... You know. Wonderland. But no-one believes her when she says that she has actually been there. So she wants to prove it.

5 second review: Well, we sure are used to a lot more than this amateur CGI crap, aren't we? And holy shit: this is boring.

IMDb score: 7,5/10
Our score: 0/10

The Tomorrow People Season 1 Episode 1-2

5 second plot: Some humans (mostly young people) have evolved to become a superior species. They can teleport and read people's minds (and stuff like that). The non-mutated humans are not very happy with this new race and created on organisation to contain the 'problem'.

5 second review: It starts out really promising in the first episode but the second one already gets a bit boring and repetitive. I don't know if there is enough interesting material to keep on going. There should be though, it's not like it's a boring subject. It did make me think of Heroes a lot.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 7/10

American Horror Story Season 3: Coven Episode 1-9

5 second plot: This season is all about witches and their wicked ways. Young witches go to a special school where they learn how to use their powers. The leader of the coven is called 'the supreme'. She's one nasty witch, who only cares about herself. There are not very much of them left, and now they've got trouble coming their way.

5 second review: It's light, it's fun, the witches are cool and we are treated to some zombies. Need I say more? This is the best season yet. One thing though: it doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. And all of a sudden new threats simply appear out of nowhere. Oh, and I definitely didn't like the Frankenstein bit.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8/10

Zombie Hunter is not good in a bad way

5 second plot: The world has gone down the shitter due to a drug that started an epidemic that turned everyone into zombies. There are not a lot of non-infected humans left so they gather up to... well, to get their asses kicked as a team I guess.

5 second review: This movie left me hanging with a lot of 'why?' questions. Like 'why didn't I check the IMDb score beforehand?'. 'Why I am still watching?' It's a really shitty movie. With a lot of annoying elements (voice overs (yes multiple) that make you want to kick something), extremely bad CGI, but still some interesting stuff (mind you: very little). Mostly gore.

IMDb score: 3,4/10
Our score: 2/10

Supernatural Season 9 Episode 1: I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

5 second plot: Sam is in a coma and he is dying. Dean is trying to save him, of course. He summons some fallen (and often very pissed off) angels for help. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

5 second review: That's a pretty impressive 'road so far' in the beginning of the episode. Too bad that is about the only exciting thing that's happening. Too much drama, that's for sure. If this is going to be an entire season trying to save Sam, I am out.

IMDb score: 8,8/10
Our score: 5/10

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Episode 3: The Asset

5 second plot: An important S.H.I.E.L.D. asset gets kidnapped. He holds the key to unlock some kind of super-gravity device.

5 second review: I don't know why I keep trying to like the show. It sucks. It's papier mache. And ridiculous.

IMDb score: 7,6/10
Our score: 3/10