The Impaler is a cool title for a movie

5 second plot: A group of friends go to Dracula's castle in Transylvania because one of them had a strange dream about it. They don't actually want to go but he practically drags them out there. Once they arrive, they are welcomed with open arms. But of course: shit hits the fan really fast.

5 second review: I was already bored out of my mind by the begin credits. This is one of those poorly made movies that just pisses you off. They try every trick in the book, but it looks so home made, it's just too sad to watch.

IMDb score: 4,3/10
Our score: 0/10

Ender's Game does not go easy on the kids

5 second plot: Earth was attacked by an alien race and humanity was nearly wiped out. But somehow we killed the fuckers. So now it's revenge time. The military is training the smartest kids to take the battle to the home planet of the aliens. I'm not sure why they need kids, but there is an explanation somewhere in the movie.

5 second review:  I don't like the adult - kid relations, they are weird. But I really like the sci-fi in this movie. It's pretty spectacular. The way the alien race 'swarms' is amazing. And what I like the most is the moral of the tale. 'The way we win matters.' True that.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 9/10

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 3: Isolation

5 second plot: More and more people are getting sick. And they get real sick really fast. So a team is assembled to go and get antibiotics. But it's a long trip. Meanwhile all the sick people are quarantined. And everyone else does his or her best to help one way or another. Not always the right way though.

5 second review: This episode is filled with lots of cool zombie stuff. We get too see a zombie with moss on it and we also get to see a big herd. Sadly, also the rescue team runs into this herd.

IMDb score: 8,2//10
Our score: 9/10

All Is Lost requires some patience

5 second plot: Robert Redford is alone in the middle of the Indian Ocean and his boat gets hit by a floating container. Now there is a big hole in the boat and his communication equipment is broken. And that's not the end of his problems. About 99 of them. But at least, the b**ch ain't one.

5 second review: I have definitely proven to myself that I do not have the patience for movies like these. It's one guy, there is no talking and there is too little going on. Time seemed to start going slower and slower between the action sequences. It's probably just me, because most people really seem to like this movie.

IMDb score: 7,1/10
Our score: 1/10

The Counselor really got on my nerves

5 second plot: A lawyer (the counselor) gets entangled in a drug deal that goes wrong. The organisation losing the money is looking for someone to blame. And they are looking in his direction. Among others.

5 second review: There is way too much dialogue in this movie. The characters are speaking but don't care about what they are saying. They're simply speaking to cover up the fact that the movie isn't going anywhere. There are some memorable scenes, so there definitively was potential, but it wasn't put to good use.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 3/10

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa is sweet

5 second plot: Billy's mom has to go to prison. She asks his granddad to bring him across the country to his dad. On their little road trip Billy and his granddad have one adventure after another. The nastiest one is a fart that blows up on the wall of a diner.

5 second review: I normally really hate these punk'd sketches, but Johnny Knoxville is such a sweet guy, that it's all really funny without taking it too far. And the kid... djeezes, where did they find him? He's amazing, it's like a grown up in a small kid's body.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 7/10

The African Americans: Many Rivers To Cross Season 1 Episode 1: The Black Atlantic

5 second plot: This first episode covers the history of African Americans from the year 1500  to 1800. During this period slavery was introduced in America. The amount of Africans that were brought to America as slaves during this period was enormous.

5 second review: I don't think I have ever seen a documentary about the history of African Americans. It's a very educational, interesting, well produced mini-series.

IMDb score: not yet rated
Our score: 8/10

Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: A boy and a girl are drawn to a place called Ravenswood. They find out that the town has a dark history and they seem to have been part of it. They find obituaries of themselves from a hundred years ago.

5 second review: They kind of skipped the intro there, didn't they? It seems like a really great idea but I'm not interested at all in the second episode. That can't be good.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 4/10

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 2: Infected

5 second plot: The boy that got sick and died AND turned into a zombie starts biting people. A big panic breaks out, lots of people die and the zombie killing musketeers need to step in and save the day. Even Rick pitches in. Other people start feeling sick (like the boy). That can't be good.

5 second review: Lots of gore, some chills, some thrills and everybody is losing it. What's not to love?

IMDb score: 8,7/10
Our score: 9/10

Paradise is pretty shitty

5 second plot: This is the story of a girl who grew up in a very strict Christian community. She got severely burned in a plane crash and lost her faith (in god, that is). So now she's off to Las Vegas to find whatever the hell she's looking for. There, she meets some new friends.

5 second review: Seriously, I was sure she was going to kill herself in the end. (But no worries, she doesn't.) What a depressing movie. And what in god's name is it about? About nothing, really. And it's totally not funny. How can this be a comedy?

IMDb score: 4,6/10
Our score: 1/10