Dogma contains a lot of words

5 second plot: Let me see if I get this straight. Two angels who were kicked out of heaven figure out a way to get back in. The only problem is that if they do that, everything will seize to exist. Everything. So a whole bunch of biblical figures and heavenly humans try to stop them.

5 second review: For starters: it's a bad title. Secondly: Silent Bob doesn't talk very well with his eyes. Thirdly: there's too many words for one movie. But the movie as a whole is simply a must see phenomenon. I just can't figure out whether Kevin Smith is a genius making this movie or just nuts. He sure did convince a bunch of big names to partake in his little adventure.

IMDb score: 7,4/10
Our score: 7/10

Princess Mononoke is deep man

5 second plot: Ashitaka is a young prince that saves his village from a forest demon. In doing so he touched the demon and now he is cursed. He's got a small chance to find a cure but to do so he has to travel to a far away forest and have a little word with some gods and spirits.

5 second review: Beautiful, that comes closest to describing this movie. The story is very mythical and feels ancient. But it also feels genuine. And strange. It's difficult not to get instructions on what's right and wrong all the time.

IMDb score: 8,5/10
Our score: 7/10

Festen looks like crap

5 second review: On a man’s 60th birthday party a horrible family secret is revealed.

5 second review: I don't give a shit that it is Dogme-approved, it looks like crap! Just terrible. The fact that an entire room full of people decides to ignore the horrible truth, made my heart skip a beat. And then a racist song. And everyone sings along. It made me boil with anger. So the movie might have looked like crap, it sure did touch a nerve.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 5/10

Gattaca is too artificial

5 second plot: In a not too distant future Vincent has taken the identity of Jerome. Vincent wants to go to space. But he is not ‘superior’ enough to be even taken into consideration. He has to go through serious lengths to get to where he wants to be.

5 second review: The sci-fi-part of this movie is not all that impressive. It might be a futuristic world, but we don’t get to see very much of it. This world feels empty and artificial. What I do like very much about this movie are the people that are in it. The characters have been worked out really well and the acting is top shelf.

IMDb score: 7,8/10
Our score: 6/10

Seinfeld Season 9 isn't an ideal goodbye

5 second plot: George starts working for a company where nobody cares about anything. It's a perfect fit. The gang goes to a wedding in India. Reversed. Kramer's coffee table book is optioned for a movie. He retires. Elaine eats a 60 year old cake, worth $29000. Jerry starts sleeping with his maid. But then she stops cleaning. So what's he paying her for?

5 second review: There are a couple of legendary (crazy bonkers) episodes in this final season that you just have to see. But you can skip the final two episodes. Their added value is 0. It must have been a lot of fun for the creators, but not for the fans.

IMDb score: 8,9/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Crash is pretty sick

5 second plot: A guy gets in a serious car accident. He is left scarred emotionally and physically. He channels his emotions sexually, together with other victims that are going through the same stuff. In doing so, he hopes to improve his strange sexual relationship with his wife. Or something like that.

5 second review: This is some weird and sick shit. There is not a lot of fun in it. It felt awkward most of the time. Some people will think this movie is fantastic, but I am not one of those people.

IMDb score: 6,3/10
Our score: 0/10

Seinfeld Season 8 is past its peak

5 second plot: George finds out he would have been rich if he had gotten married. Elaine doesn't know she dances really funny. Jerry shaves his chest-hair and almost turns into a werewolf when it starts growing back. Kramer gets hooked on chicken from a new fast food restaurant across the street. And there is another incident with invitations...

5 second review: They try really hard (too hard) to be funny. It's not about everyday situations anymore. It's too crazy, too silly. It's like they're stuck in a bizarro world.

IMDb score: 8,9/10
Our score: 6/10

Strange Days is wicked

5 second plot: In a futuristic 1999 that didn't turn out very well, Lenny makes his money by selling a new type of video that makes the viewer really experience what the person filming was feeling. When a friend of his finds out something she shouldn't have Lenny gets sucked into a very big mess.

5 second review: This movie's got a wicked vibe. It's cool, sexy, dark, futuristic,... Every scene is crowded with people and there's always a whole bunch of things going on at once. This gives it a claustrophobic undertone that becomes the backbone of the movie.

IMDb score: 7,2/10
Our score: 7/10

Seinfeld Season 7 is on cruise control

5 second plot: Spoilers ahead! George is getting married. He (almost immediately) wants out but he's afraid to confront his fiancee. At the end of the season she dies because of the poisonous  glue on the envelopes of the cheap ass wedding invitations George insisted on. George also blows a date with Marisa Tomei, who is crazy about his looks (really).

5 second review: The show is on cruise control, everything is running smoothly. We get a couple of great new characters (like Kramer's lawyer), some existing ones take center stage a couple of times (Newman) and then there's of course: Marisa Tomei with a great cameo.

IMDb score: 8,9/10
Our score: 9/10

La Haine is seriously over the top

5 second plot: We follow three young guys living in the not so friendly suburbs of Paris over the course of their day: hanging out, having fun, bothering other people and getting their asses kicked (mainly by the police). One of them found a gun the previous day. That's asking for trouble, of course.

5 second review: This movie is really low budget, but nicely done. Very funny at times. And also a reality check: hate only creates more hate is the central message. But the madly over the top acting got on my nerves. Or is this simply that sometimes annoying French energy bursting out.

IMDb score: 8,1/10
Our score: 5/10