Friday, September 18, 2015

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials is pretty cool

















5 second plot: The boys and girl that survived the maze are slowly realizing that there's something off with their saviors. So they get the hell out of dodge to look for the real resistance. But as they say about the scorch: if the elements won't kill you, the cranks will.

5 second review: This one is way better than the first one. The cast looks cooler, the action is nice and tense, the visuals are great and I'm a big sucker for this apocalyptic outside world. Not to mention these creepy fuckers chasing everything with a heartbeat. It's not all peaches and cream but overall this is definitely a job well done.

IMDb score: 6,9/10
Our score: 8/10


Black Mass is one hell of a performance
















5 second plot: This is the real life story of the rise and fall of Whitey Bulger. Boston's notorious friendly neighbor by day and lunatic crime lord by night. In the '80s he became a big player thanks to a deal he made with the FBI.

5 second review: What an amazing cast and what a brilliant performance by Johnny Depp. He translates this psychotic unpredictability so well to the screen, you truly never know what's going to happen, but you're always expecting the worst. It's a shame the story just focuses on the cool lunatic gangster stuff and doesn't try to dig deeper.

IMDb score: 7,9/10
Our score: 8/10


Cooties should be fun
















5 second plot: After a kid eats an infected chicken nugget she gets thirsty for blood and very violent. She starts biting other children and then the virus spreads like wildfire. The teachers are trapped in the school and have to find a way to get out of there.

5 second review: If you're wondering if these grown ups are going to kill some kids? Yes, they are. They even set small children on fire and think that's really cool. It's meant to be a lot of fun, but it isn't. Every grown up is an asshole or a loser. There's no-one to root for. I was rooting for the kids.

IMDb score: 5,8/10
Our score; 3/10


Monday, September 14, 2015

The Hive doesn't cut it
















5 second plot: A guy wakes up not feeling very well and looking very nasty (black puss coming out of his body). He can't remember who he is. But then he starts flashing back and decides to try and find a way out of the mess.

5 second review: It's gross and nasty. But it's also part love story. The target audience is mostly horror fans I would say. The way the main character handles his situation doesn't make a lot of sense. The flash-back structure isn't the right tool to tell this story. And I'm just not a big fan of the black puss barfing in each other's mouths.

IMDb score: 5,1/10
Our score: 2/10


Sicario will blow you away















5 second plot: Kate is an FBI team leader working for the kidnap response team. On one mission she stumbles upon a house filled with dead bodies. All killed by a Mexican drug cartel. She gets a chance to be a part of the task force that will bring down the men responsible for this massacre. But no-one told her this task force uses some very unconventional methods to get results.

5 second review: This is one hell of a great crime thriller. It's super tense. You get sucked right into the middle of the action. The performances are amazing. I was blown away. You know that this is a very unconventional team, but still these fuckers manage to do the unexpected.

IMDb score: 8/10
Our score: 10/10



Sunday, September 13, 2015

Fear the Walking Dead Season 1 Episode 3: The Dog




















5 second plot: LA city is totally in chaos. The cops are still trying to get things under control. There are already a couple of zombies mingling with the crowd. Travis is trying to get home. The hairdresser and his family tag along. The electricity is almost gone. Zombie neighbors are attacking. The son and the mom start to get the drift of what's going on. When the army gets involved dad thinks everything's going to be okay. Sorry to have to break it to you dad...

5 second review: There's still a lot of focus on the family situation. It's time to start shifting the focus to the zombie apocalypse. Well, we do get a cool head-shot and the zombie moan is very present thanks to an old zombie lady next door.

IMDb score: 8,4/10
Our score: 8/10


Friday, September 11, 2015

The Visit requires some patience



















5 second plot: Two kids go visit their grandparents for a week. They have never met them (mom broke all contact before the kids where born). When they arrive it all seems to be peaches and cream but after a while the Nana and Pop Pop start acting really weird. Especially after 21:30.

5 second review: The twist is so obvious that I didn't see it coming. Thank god, because that's about the only thing I liked about the movie. The kids are okay too. It's a cheap ass home video movie with lots of useless footage that was just added around a 30 minute story. It's quite the stretch.

IMDb score: 6,4/10
Our score: 4/10


Sleeping with Other People is a sweet romance for grown-ups



















5 second plot: Lainey and Jake have one time magical sex in college and then never see each other again. They go on with their lives but they are not very happy and their relationships aren't working out. And then they run in to each other again and become best friends. Without benefits.

5 second review: It's funny, sweet and smart. But it's also laim and awkward here and there. I simply didn't know what to think of it from time to time. But in the end I decided it's actually pretty decent. I'm always down for that happy ending. Not that I'm saying there is a happy ending. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. There is a lot of sex talk. But I guess the title gave that away already.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 7/10




Friday, September 4, 2015

Bloodsucking Bastards is a good effort
















5 second plot: When a new sales manager arrives at Evan's workplace the useless employees suddenly start becoming productive. A couple of them (the 'normal' ones) realize that something is wrong. Their new manager is turning the co-workers into vampires and they obey his every command.

5 second review: Look at the title. And then 'a film by Dr. God'. You know what you're getting yourself into. It's made on a small budget, that's for sure. But these useless employees are actually funny to watch. And the blood splattering all over the place is nice and gory on the one hand but it also fits the comedy-part of the movie perfectly. Dr. God definitely put a good effort into this.

IMDb score: 5,7/10
Our score: 4/10


Wednesday, September 2, 2015

A Walk in the Woods is pretty basic
















5 second plot: Robert Redford decides to walk the Appalachian Trail. His wife doesn't want him to walk it alone. So he brings along an old friend: Nick Nolte.

5 second review: It's basically watching a couple of old guys walk in the woods. I'm not a big fan of Nick Nolte. But I really liked the movie. There's a lot of smart assing around and some slap stick here and there. It's actually a lot of fun. And I'm thinking of giving Nick Nolte another chance.

IMDb score: 6,5/10
Our score: 8/10