Machete Kills is nuts

5 second plot: The president asks Machete to stop a crazy Mexican gangster from launching a bomb in the direction of Washington.

5 second review: Wow, this really is a crazy movie. The story is not always as logical as it should or could be, but Rodriguez gets away with it because you wonder if that was simply the whole idea. I especially liked the super crazy original ways to kill people. Like the one where he hangs on the rotorblade of the helicopter. That's nuts.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 7/10
Box Office Mojo: 15 mio $ worldwide (on 23-11-2013)

I Spit on Your Grave 2 is really nasty

5 second plot: Katie is brutally abused by a group of men. She escapes and wants revenge.

5 second review: This is a very low budget movie. You can tell quite quickly by the shaky cam and the fact that the Bulgarian characters sometimes forget to speak Bulgarian. I really didn't think I would make it to the end but I was waiting for the girl to start her nasty revenge. And the wait was rewarded: there is some really sick and nasty shit in this movie! Yuk! And auwch!

IMDb score: 5,6/10
Our score: 5/10
Box Office Mojo: not yet known on posting date

Runner Runner isn't very good good

5 second review: A young fellow loses all his money on a gambling site. He figures out he got scammed and sets out to meet the owner of the site, a very rich guy living in Costa Rica. The rich guy offers him a job. And then the young fellow gets sucked into a big pile of illegal stuff. And there doesn't seem to be any way out.

5 second review: I like Ben Affleck in this movie: he's a cool sneaky supercriminal (sort of). And I liked Gemma Arterton. Well, because she's Gemma Arterton. Why then, did I really not like this movie? Justin Timberlake has something to do with that, but it's mostly the story. It's simply not intersting enough.

IMDb score: 5,4/10
Our score: 4/10

Dads Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: Eli and Warner have a successful business making video games. They both wind up in a situation where their dad moves in with them. And they are not very happy with that.

5 second review: It seems like a great show with a lot of smart dialogue. It's just a shame the dads are not funny. Maybe it has to grow on me, but I'm not feeling it at the moment.

IMDb score: 6/10
Our score: 7/10

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: A very diverse group of detectives fights crime in Brooklyn. Yep, that's about it.

5 second review: Very relaxed and very funny. And only 20 mts so there's no time to fuck around. Meaning that the action and the jokes follow up quickly. Not that there was no fucking. But there wasn't.

IMDb score: not yet available on posting date
Our score: 9/10

Sleepy Hollow Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

5 second plot: A man wakes up after 250 years in the present time. His mission? To stop a man who's head he chopped off 250 years ago. Why? Because this headless man is the prelude to the end of times. The apocalypse so to speak.

5 second review: I was positively surprised by this pilot. You really have to hang in there from time to time, but this seems to be a really interesting show. It's an old supernatural dark fairy tale zapped to present time.

IMDb score: 8,2/10
Our score: 7,5/10

Under the Dome Season 1 Episode 13: Curtains

5 second plot: The butterfly comes out of the cocoon in the mini dome. The mini and maxi dome turn completely black. The 'owners' of the dome appear and do not really clear anything up. They just ask the people to protect the black egg. And then there is Big Jim that really really really wants to see Barbie dead.

5 second review: The episode is okay: there is a lot of interesting stuff going on with the dome. The whole Big Jim craziness however is getting on my nerves. And as a season finale? It really is a big pile of bullshit.  The season feels like a complete waste of time. The viewers should had gotten some closure as a reward for their patience.

IMDb score: 7,3/10
Our score: 2/10

Breaking Bad Season 5 Episode 14: Ozymandias

5 second review: All unfinished business from last episode is handled. Pretty straightforward. No bullshit. If you don't want to spoil your fun, don't read further. Seriously. Hank is dead. Jesse is a slave cook for the crazy criminal family, Walter Jr. knows everything and Walt makes the call to disappear. And loses the one thing he started this crazy shit for: his family.

5 second plot: I don't know what's left to tell anymore. Two more episodes? What in the world have we got coming our way?

IMDb score: 9,9/10
Our score: 9/10

Hawking is not very exciting

5 second plot: A film about the life of brilliant scientist Stephen Hawking. Told by himself.

5 second review: This movie is for fans and for people that have never heard of him. For the rest of us, it's a bit boring. I know who he is and read the book. That's about all that is told here. I didn't realize he is already 71 though. That took me by surprise. I feel like an asshole giving him a low score like this.

IMDb score: 6,7/10
Our score: 3/10

Insidious: Chapter 2 scared the living crap out of me

5 second plot: The second chapter starts right after the first one. No time to waste. You would think the family endured enough, but no no no, there is an evil spirit that found its way into our world. It takes some time before the family realizes something's up and then it's almost too late.

5 second review: If you are into ghost stories, this one will scare the living crap out of you. It's a simple but very effective story with a lot of haunting images. And man, I hate mirrors in these ghost movies. The story does come to an abrupt (fulfilling) end but that's just a pitch for Chapter 3, I guess.

IMDb score: 6,8/10
Our score: 9/10